Posts by TheJavaDuke

TheJavaDuke

Dec 20, 2011

Undergraduate / 'I never liked the idea of change' - Common App [16]

The revisions look good, but I found some errors:

JAMM is a part of me and I had no intentions of changing who I was = JAMM was a part of me and I had no intentions of changing who I was. (Use past thense here)

I realized that by sharing my passions and goals with JAMM would enhance our friendship even more = I realized that by sharing my passions and goals with JAMM, our friendship would be enhanced even more.

good luck

TheJavaDuke

Dec 20, 2011

Undergraduate / 'I never liked the idea of change' - Common App [16]

ever since hearing those five words, the possibility of JAMM kept me awake throughout summer (here it seems like the possibility heard those words.) Change it to: ever since hearing those five words, I was kept awake throughout summer by the possibility of JAMM.

accompanied with = accompanied by

I had no intentions of changing who I was either = Don't say either

I suppose I was too naïve to know it but change is inevitable = I suppose I was too naïve to know that change was inevitable.

and its ambiguous partner = I suppose that the partner is ambiguity itself? I don't know if you should refer to ambiguity as ambiguous..

Overall, good essay.

TheJavaDuke

Dec 20, 2011

Undergraduate / 'transformed into reality' - Common App: Robotics [3]

Thanks Susan! I will make the necessary changes.

TheJavaDuke

Dec 20, 2011

Undergraduate / 'transformed into reality' - Common App: Robotics [3]

Hello

Could someone please go over this essay for me and see if it accurately answers the prompt?

Thanks

PROMPT: "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum). "

ESSAY: There exists a place where innovation is fostered and ideas are transformed into reality. I know this place simply as my school's robotics club. Every robotic design that I conceive, from a simple rover to a complex humanoid, takes shape here. Building a robot is a mentally stimulating journey. I start this journey by creating a rough sketch of my robotic design. Then, parts ranging from servos to sensors come together to form a concrete manifestation of my concept. But what good is my robot if it cannot "think"? To enable my robot to respond to various stimuli, I code intricate Java programs. Final testing to ensure that all parts work harmoniously signals the end of the journey.

Robotics to me is more than calibrating sensors or writing code; it is a nurturing activity that has continually sparked my intellect. In addition to teaching me about engineering mechanics and microcontroller programming, robotics has granted me the overwhelming power to give life to my wildest intellections.