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Posts by D41V30N
Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Last Post: Jan 16, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Bangladesh

Displayed posts: 4
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D41V30N   
Jan 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Books, encyclopedias, internet, and watching others work' - NUS Admission [2]

This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.

As your essay is limited to only 2000 characters (including punctuations and space), do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.


Back when I did not even understand the word "science", I have always marveled at what I learned later to be one of the most fundamental areas in physics: Mechanics. I was never really interested in actually playing with my enormous collection of Hot Wheels toy-cars. "How are these cars produced? Why are they shaped as they are? Why do they operate the way they do?" - I was more concerned about seeking the answers to these questions. My grandfather taught me to operate basic tools, such as screwdrivers, and with these newly-learned skills, I would open all these cars, empty their contents, scrutinize them - part by part - desperately hoping to learn their functions, and then assemble the parts back together before my parents returned home.

Quickly, my interests escalated from simple toys to actual vehicles when my father would buy our first car around 8 years ago. Gradually, I was opened to the idea of "Engineering" for the first time. Honestly, I was somewhat disappointed at first. The particular field of engineering I have always been pursuing requires one to be very efficient in both mathematics and physics; naturally, my skills at both were "good", but not "exceptional". Nevertheless, over the past five years, I have struggled to hone my talent in both the subjects in order to pursue my goals, and it is with pride I can say that I finally excelled in both the subjects in my O-Level and A-Level exams. Whereas I would consistently annoy my peers and teachers to teach me more in these subjects, by the time I sat for my O-Levels, my classmates were the ones who sought guidance from me in both of them.

Books, encyclopedias, internet, and watching others work in the field - all these furthered my obsession with the field. And soon, I learned that my fascination had soared far beyond land vehicles. My sights are now locked on aircrafts and the idea of hovercrafts. And I believe, given the opportunity to study in your institution, I will achieve my goals.

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Please review my NUS Admission Essay and comment on grammar and relevancy. I would much appreciate if anyone would give me directions on how to improve my essay and improve my grammar. I will definitely review your essays / assignments as well if you help me.
D41V30N   
Jan 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'space and games' - common app [4]

During my whole life, I have always been interested in two things: space and games. I always wanted to be a game programmer. However, as I grew up, I discovered that I have the gift for other things: mathematics and physics. In the beginning, it was a gift I used for school and I just wanted to be a game developer. Nevertheless , when the time for me to choose want I wanted to do in the future came , I did some research and I found that I needed to pursue my study in mathematics if I wanted to become a game programmer. That is how I became interested in mathematics, and then physics because I needed mathematics in order to work in physics. And as I entered college, I was divided between my love of space and my will of being game programmer. During the two years I spent in college, I found that there was a study program which allowed me to study for both space and game programmer: engineering. That is how I get interested in engineering and more particularly the University Of Michigan's College of Engineering .

Not only would the UOM college of engineering will allow me to study for the both degree of study I want without losing time deciding which major to take, so that I can get the job I want in the future, but it is also related to math and physics, subjects where I am very good at, which is important because before doing something, I think it is better to have strong abilities necessary to do that thing. (The sentence is too long and unnecessarily complex. Try to separate what you want to let them know into different sentences. Furthermore, I think it would be best if you do not mention the whole "job in the future" thing. The overall logic is that if you pass with good grades, you'll obviously have a good job. Maybe you can write something like this:)

Not only would UOM's College Of Engineering allow me to study for both the degrees I want to study without losing the time required to choose between the two majors, but also the subjects featured here are mathematics and physics - two subjects which I am very good at, and I believe that, before doing something, it is better to have a natural strength in that particular field.

Because of mathematics, I became so much curious that I became interested in researches in the space field. I know that the University of Michigan has the best equipment for researches and I have strong and original ideas. If I am admitted into UOM, it will give me the opportunity to turn those ideas into reality. Also, the Michigan Learning Communities program will help me develop my interests and ideas with people who like them, and want to help me to develop them. Either way, I am winning because my ideas will be developed on both sides, and will not die before even being explored. The ethnic diversity in the university will help me know people from different origins with different opinions and different ideas.

I think that how students spend their time inside and outside school is very important in order to succeed. With its academic programs, the resources available to students, and its reputation, UOM has all the characteristics I think a university should have. Add to that an incredible diversity among the students, the professors' efficiency, and a college of engineering which offers the program I want, and you understand why I want to study at the UOM.
D41V30N   
Jan 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I can vividly envision myself on campus' - Peddie [11]

Grammatically, the essay seems fine. But I think it would be better if you did not keep on repeating a few points again and again. For example, you mentioned about their extracurricular activities too many times, and most of the time, it comes back round to mean the same thing. When you're discussing extracurricular activities, complete your discussion about extra-curricular activities completely and then move to another thing you want to say. Maybe you can take a look at the campus map and say: "I like [this particular thing]" or something like that to increase your character count.

Best of luck.
D41V30N   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I chose Mechanical Engineering' - NUS Admission [2]

This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.

As your essay is limited to only 2000 characters (including punctuations and space), do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.


Alright, that is the essay topic. I am applying for Mechanical Engineering (as my first choice) in the National University of Singapore. I have good grades in my O Levels and A Levels, but currently, I am extremely bummed out and nothing comes to my mind about how I should begin or what I should write over here. If someone give me some leads about how or where to start, I would really appreciate that. I have a fascination with Mathematics and scored an almost perfect score of 399 out of 400 in my core courses in A Levels, and it allows me to solve extremely difficult Physics calculations with much ease. And being honest, that is the reason I chose Mechanical Engineering as my primary course.

To be frank, I am facing difficulties with writing the essay is because I lack any real ambition for any particular subject; I just want to get into NUS. I have been one of the top students in my class and have performed well in all-aspects, which kinda makes it very difficult for me to choose any particular subject. I decided to go for Mechanical Engineering because I believe I can use my natural talent in maths and physics to excel in this subject, but other than that, I have no real ambition of choosing any subject. I'm quite confident I'd do well in whichever subject I choose, and I chose Mechanical Engineering. But an essay is... well... difficult for me to write because as I said, I had no real plans of studying any subject at all. So please. Help me out here.

Thanks.
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