Undergraduate / 'How to not be a failure' LACs (Dart, CMC, Bowdoin), Cornell, Gtown [3]

I like the idea a lot, its great. The only problem I see is that your thoughts are disconnected which makes the essay slightly difficult to follow. When you fix that, this thing will be golden.

Undergraduate / 'Dear Admissions Staff, I don't give a Shih Tzu' [19]

It wasn't arrogant at all, don't worry. I'm not sure what the prompt was or what school you're applying to so I can't tell if it was "risky" or not.

For all silliness , though, Karissa is mature. I think that word fits better, since you're writing it fromt the POV of a dog.

Undergraduate / Northwestern Fever- Supplement [3]

Sadly, like the rest of my vivid visions, it came to a close leaving me yearning for Northwestern.
I have been analyzing this strange sickness for a while and found many possible causes.

a thrilling city life to stave "City life" is more adcom friendly :)

Your explanation of why you like McCormick made it sound like you see education as a means to get a high paying job. Thats probably not a good thing. Read the essay out loud to yourself to fix some of the awkward syntax you have going on. Otherwise, good job! It was unique.

Undergraduate / 'foreigners love to remark on Chinese education system' - Common app [10]

You relied on the thesaurus wayyyy too much; it makes your essay awkward. I used blue to mark all the words that you should replace with simpler ones.

I used green to mark other awkward, grammatically incorrect phrases.

As I finished the last derivative question of a weekly math test, my "boss" shouted "TIME UP!" and coerced us to submit our pieces. Then I walked to the front of the classroom, filed all students' answer sheets, sent them to my teacher's office and went home. That's a quintessential day of my life as a senior, also in every other Chinese student's .

Boring? Yeah, but that's merely ostensible .
When heard that there would be a sea of monotonous tests in our formidable last year at high school, dread and pressure occupied my mind just like everybody had. I experienced the first examination shortly after I began my final year, when I was a bit morose but didn't endeavor too hard with my preparation. However, things just went by contrary . Never had I expected that I would do such good work that I got the highest mark in my class and ranked 28th in the whole grade, for I didn't even strive whereas others spared no effort. Was it haphazard or owing to my potentials? My ludicrous confidence began to expand and I blindly supposed that I could get a content mark without much effort. Predictably, this wrong assumptionevaporated instantaneously . In my second monthly exam, my rank declined to 55th and my math was a complete mess. I became strained and took several academic measures promptly. I collected all my mistakes in a notebook for reference to shun similar mistakes. I spent extra time every night on doing math exercises and reviewing all the errors that I made before.

...sorry I give up. You should have a native speaker look this over. On a side note, this essay is boring. Is getting your grades up senior year the most exciting thing you did in life? Probably not.