Scholarship / Essay about the importance of completion post secondary program [2]

I have several essays with several topics which need helpful comments

1. why you believe that you should be awarded this scholarship?

Before I came to America, I only made two commitments with myself, earning a good grade and get a good job with it. I finished my first college semester with 3.8 GPA. However, I realize that satisfactory GPA itself cannot give me a good job. I have to possess a good character and outstanding communication skill, which I'm very lack of. In addition, I learnt from American people that we have to be independent. [..]

Scholarship / 'Before I came to America..' - the need and how to contribute to living environment [5]

Before I came to America, I had realized that my parents don't have enough money to pay my 4 year degree in United States. They can afford my 2 year degree. Due to my cousin provides me free food and place to live, my parents don't have to pay my living expenses. However, it seems that now I and my cousin cannot get along with each other. As a result, I have to rent an apartment in order to continue my education in America. This matter certainly will increase my parent's expenditure since they have to pay my food and apartment rent. If I cannot get a job on-campus and any scholarship, I will not be able to finish my four year degree. [...]