Posts by hartmantc

hartmantc

Dec 27, 2011

Undergraduate / 'I have two parents' - MIT - challenge or even that didn't go as planned [4]

Do you think possibly lightening it up would make it sound less mocking? Like not completely making it a parody of someone dealing with depression?

hartmantc

Dec 27, 2011

Undergraduate / 'sister's diabetes' - MIT- How your world has shaped your dreams [3]

First off, I think that this is a great essay, much better than the one I wrote on the prompt. My suggestion would be that you could cut off some of the last sentences in the middle paragraph, and expand on the last paragraph. By the first few sentences you had perfectly described what you were going through, and I think eliminating a few sentences would take anything away and it would leave you room to expand on how you adjusted or how you would prevent others from feeling that pain.

hartmantc

Dec 27, 2011

Undergraduate / 'I have two parents' - MIT - challenge or even that didn't go as planned [4]

Hello, I just wanted to make sure that the humorous tone I was going for in this essay came through to everyone, and not just in my head. The prompt is "Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)" Please feel free to let me know of any further edits you would make! Thanks!

I have two parents. I come from a loving home. I have never lost someone close to me. I do not come from a rough and tumble community where it is unheard of to exceed. I will not be the first in my family to attend college. My parents have never had to choose between food or electricity. To put it lightly, I have not had a hard life. I don't have a story to tell deserving of a feature film. To be brutally honest, this essay has proven to be one of the harder things I have dealt with in my life. To manage such a situation I have had to be brutally honest with the fact that I have lived a sheltered and trouble-free North Michigan childhood.

I struggled with the depression of not being able to find a topic to write about for weeks on end, but eventually I had to pull myself together and put it behind me. In fact, I don't even know how I got some of the days where I couldn't get it off of my mind. The classic symptoms were all there, loosing sleep, lack of appetite, and loss of interest. After getting the worlds down on paper and putting that dark time behind me, I have been able to appreciate how truly lucky I have been to have a life without any such tumultuous events.