Undergraduate / 'still the teacher assistant' - college essay [6]

Wake up. Go To School. Go home. Go to sleep. That was it. There was nothing more, nothing less.

3:10 PM that first day. Up the hill, about to conquer to this new place; I don't know what to expect. Will the kids be nice? Is the teacher friendly? Can I handle this? I go down the street, up the stairs, "knock, knock", I am introduced to my current "boss", the teacher I am going to be working for. Then a stream of first graders, fifth graders, fourth graders, coming through the door and despite being nervous I introduce myself to each with a smile. My heart races slightly but I'm making conversation with the kids - asking about their day at school, or what their favorite cartoons are. Automatically, a relationship begins to take form. From here it can only get stronger.

Now, a year later, I am still the teacher assistant at the learning center. I have integrated helping kids into my daily schedule. Next to the table is a book case filled with an assortment of titles and binders that are constantly read, consulted, and written in. While the kids sit around a table that fits comfortably right into the middle of their average size room, I walk around offering guidance for their homework. On typical days, I hear, "Jenny! Jenny! Help me with my homework!" or "Jenny! I don't get it". I enjoy helping them and experiencing those "OH" moments. But, it's not always so pleasant. Sometimes one of the kids gets easily distracted or gets really difficult to handle. To control, a dozen of rambunctious students alone under normal circumstances is difficult enough, but because the teacher was running late, a challenging "You're not our real teacher!" came from one of the students. Then, Jeffrey bolted from his seat, and ran into another room - just to sit on the floor. Frustration takes over when I try to get him to sit back in his seat. After some intense persuasion, he sits back down. A sense of relief has taken over. It's easier when kids behave and are obedient, but where is the fun in that?

Looking back, I saw a Jenny who was unsure of herself. To be a Jenny that was longing to be bubbly and exciting. I needed to evolve. That job did it. Working with a roomful of kids who appreciate my assistance, adds warmth and energy to my life. Regardless of how shy I used to be or how difficult it was at first for me to be outgoing, I know I am sure of myself now, I can stand up to what needs to be done. Not only did the after school teaching, overcame my shyness, it filled a void that I never really knew I had. Who would have guessed that I had once sworn never to work with kids? Today, I walk into work, into the classroom, and begin the sessions with, "Who needs help?"

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Some edits & thoughts would be great! Thanks!