Undergraduate /
'My mother is a vivid example' - CommonApp: Significant person [5]
Please read and comment my essay. My deadline for Stonny Brook SUNNY (Feb 15) is approaching, so please reply asap. Thank you very much.
In life, every person needs a guide light to his destination. To me, that guide light is my mother.
My mother is a vivid example of how a strong will can conquer any hardship. Growing up in the middle of the devastating Vietnam War, my mother lived in poverty for the most part of her childhood. To compound her misery, when she was six years old, her father passed away due to a pulmonary disease. His death, however, inspired my mother to cherish her dream of becoming a lifesaver. The road to success is never an easy way. Apart from having to grapple with horrendous famine that occurred frequently, my mother also bore the responsibility of taking care of her younger siblings. But with unflagging effort, she reached her goals and became the first woman in her village to successfully enroll in the Medical University.
Nonetheless, it was not until three years ago that I fully realized my mother's strong will. At that time, I was preparing for the Provincial physics contest. I never had much confidence in my capacity. To me, it seemed like the other candidates were all smarter. The sense of inferiority just beat me right from the very start. I was so daunted and was about to give in. Two weeks before the contest, my father had a car accident. Despite carrying all the burdens on her shoulders, my mother never complained. Even seemingly to collapse at any instant, my mother kept her strong will. She kept telling me that everything would be all right. It was her determination that transformed me completely, made me realize that I was capable of doing much better. From a timid and introverted child who never dared to believe in himself, never musters enough courage to venture into uncharted waters, I have metamorphosed. In those hard-toiling days, I burn the mid-night oil in endeavoring to understand all the convoluted and counter-intuitive concepts. Amazingly, I explored a lot more out of my potential and the result was dazzling. I finally beat 500 candidates to achieve the second place in the Regional contest.
Being inspired by my mother's unswerving and dedication to people less fortunate than herself, I personally feel that I must do something I return for her sacrifice and expectation. The world is still struggling with the dilemma of endemic poverty. People are starving even when there is a surfeit of food in the world and yet we, as egoistic humans, are often fixated on satiating our material need; sometimes callously neglect the plight of others. I dream to be a prominent physicist, using all my power to create many useful inventions that help to deliver food to the poor in any far-flung and secluded corners of this world. Yes, that might seem to be a quixotic and grandiose hope. But my mother has shown me: people would accomplish many great things if we do not consider them impossible.
The limit is 500 words and mine's already reached 489. However, I think that the introductory paragraph is too short and quite boring. Can you guys hep me with that. Also, because the essay will be printed out in a separate sheet of paper when it reaches the admission office, so it's very likely that the adcom can't count the words exactly. So I wonder if I can break the words limit a little.
Best regards,
