Writing Feedback / Toulmin Essay "Should Uniform Be Implemented for College Students " [8]

Hello guysss. I am new Student on this site. My essay due last week but i have no clue what to do. I am not understanding the essay. it is a Toulin Essay. The Topic is "Should college students wear school uniform" I agreed with this topic. However , i am following a example of someone else toulmin;s essay. i can really use alot of help PLEASE! Here is what i got so far. THANKS SO MUCH please!

Toulmin Essay
"Should Uniform Be Implemented for College Students "

Recently, study had shown that the majority of parents prefer uniform rather than casual clothing.(THIS IS THE INTRODUCTION. I DON'T KNO WHAT TO WRITE HERE)

Recently, study had shown that the majority of parents prefer uniform rather than casual clothing. Not using school uniforms pose as a huge hindrance to students, the implementation of school uniform will cause less distraction, less expense and being more focused in college. (Thesis statement) and (MAIN claim).

One reason that we should implement uniform bn is that it causes less distraction. (SUB CLAIM). According to Mr James D'Castro, the Principal of Harvard's University confirms that wearing casual outrageous clothing indeed causes more distraction. He says, "School Uniform policy ensures that a student comes to school in appropriate clothing thus, avoiding distractions and wearing revelling clothing. Most students considered college as a fashion show. This distracts students from learning; instead, they spend lavish time considering what to wear rather than getting their homework done. School Uniform helps to focus on studies and it gives the students a great deal of comfort in wearing school uniform. (AUTHORITY). Recent studies show that eighty five percent of teachers and parents in the BVI said that wearing casual clothing causes great distraction to students and hampered their academic performance. Statistics also claim that 65% of parents have found that their kids are more focused in school after wearing uniforms.

(Statistics). In my experience wearing uniform serves a great deal in me getting less distracted and focuses more on my studies compared to the time when I attended school where no uniform was required. . I remembered I would not wear the most fashionable clothing and follow the latest fashion but I was often being taunted by several peers. I felt as if I did not belong to anywhere, I could not have afford to buy expensive clothing just to fit in ,(Testimony)

.Although it is important for student to express their individuality , uniform policies should be implemented in college because it help student focused more on what is being taught rather than focus on what is not important. This caused my grades to flop because it was clear that no attention was being paid when students wear casual clothing. People are depriving the students from succeeding in school by restricting the policy of wearing uniform. It is time for this unfairness to stop among our students.

Another reason that students should wear uniform is because it is cost effective. (Sub claim). The cost of uniform brought about great debate towards parents as well as teachers. Bill Clinton once said," People will learn to evaluate themselves by what they are on the inside to evaluate themselves by that they are on the inside, instead of what they are wearing on the outside, with this being said our college should be able to wear uniform. Comparisons shows that School uniform cost less than buying different types of casual clothing to wear every day to school.(FACTS). During a talk show host, Mr Johnson Baptise explained the cost of uniforms. He said, "The cost of uniform would be much less than a new wardrobe and save parents less expense and time shopping for casual clothing." These students should be given the right to be focused in class and being less distracted by implementing uniforms.

If we want colleges to be successful, feel safe and have a positive appearance and get productive results, college should require the policy of wearing uniforms. -(Warrant). Colleges that wears uniforms caused fewer fights; suspension rates and crime rated decreased dramatically. This limits what clothes can be worn such as outrageous clothing, Gang colours and unsuitable wording on clothes. (Backing)Statistics have shown that after implementing uniform they saw 40% in reduction in suspension, 50% is fewer fights and 10% reduction in crime rates ( Statistics)