Writing Feedback / essay about "a fake beauty" [3]

A Fake Beauty

There is an old saying that says beauty is pain. The French also say "Il faut souffrir pour etre belle", which means no pain, no gain or you must suffer to be beautiful. However, many girls do not care about those old sayings. Many girls still do a lot of things to be more beautiful, even some extreme things. No matter how hurts what they do to themselves, they still do it. The things that they do to be more beautiful are called beautification activities. Beautification activities have been done by many girls for centuries. Dworkin in Woman Hating (1974:115) says that many girls have suffered for beauty, for example, by "plucking the eyebrows, shaving under the arms, wearing a girdle, learning to walk in high-heeled shoes, having one's nose fixed, and straightening or curling one's hair." Many girls go through extreme suffering from beautification activities to get a perfect impression from other people. In fact, they have sacrificed and manipulated themselves through extreme suffering to create a fake beauty. In this essay, I will explain several reasons that make many girls do a lot of things to be more beautiful. I will narrow my explanation into four reasons. I will focus my explanation on girls. I use girls as the subject because I think nowadays girls have more roles in beautification activities, compared with women.

The definition of beauty always shifts and changes over time. We can see it from the beautification activities through the ages. The change of beauty and its definition makes the value of beauty relative and cannot be measured with standard size. Nevertheless, many people still give their thoughts and judgments about beauty to be considered as the standard values of beauty. It makes many girls get influenced. Many girls try very hard to be like what many people think. They try to attract people around them through their appearances. I think a model in a fashion magazine that have a tall and slim (even skinny) body, white skin, and long hair usually become the reference of a beautiful girl. A study (1995) found that 70 percent of girls would feel really bad just by looking at models in fashion magazines for about three minutes. I think it happens because they only focus on what they see, not on the fact. The ideas about how a beautiful girl looks soon become the socially constructed ideas of beauty. Many people seem to build some right standard values about beauty. They together create some ideas about beauty, but the ideas indirectly become misunderstood. The socially constructed ideas of beauty actually are not the real and correct measures of beauty. Many girls think those ideas are the real and correct measures because those ideas are indirectly approved and used by many people. It seems that those ideas become the universal standard of beauty. In fact, it is totally wrong and misunderstood.

The socially constructed ideas of beauty are also explained by Naomi Wolf in her book The Beauty Myth. She explains "how images of beauty are used against [girls]." Wolf (2008:16-17) also states about the idea of "Iron Maiden" which describe a modern illusion in which a girl trapped by a standard of beauty that she cannot adjust to it. From her explanation, I get an overview that the socially constructed ideas of beauty have become a boomerang for many girls. They are forced to be someone whom they do not suit to. I also think that the ideas of beauty which spread among many people are more directed at the physical beauty than the inner beauty and intelligence. It makes many girls tend to forget about their inner beauty and intelligence. Many girls defeat each other to be more beautiful physically, but they forget to build their inner beauty and intelligence. Consequently, I think it is no wonder if there is a stereotype of blonde girls. Takeda, Helms, Klintworth, and Sompayrac (2005:4) argue that blondes are more attractive and popular than redheads because of their appearance, but more likely to be stereotyped as incompetent than redheads. Blonde girls look beautiful, but seem to have nothing in their head.

The other thing that makes girls do a lot of things to be more beautiful is their human nature. It is human nature that people never satisfied. Once people get interested in something, they will do or chase it over and over again. This also happens to girls in order to change themselves to be more beautiful. At first, they seem to be more beautiful after they do a beautification activity. However, they become no longer beautiful when they do some beautification activities over and over again.

Some example of cases that caused by girls' dissatisfaction with their appearance are plastic surgery addiction and eating disorders. Paris Hilton, for example, said that she would not do any plastic surgeries. In contrast, according to Plastic Surgery Before and After Blog (2010), she has done several plastic surgeries, such as an eyelid (Blepharoplasty) and lip enhancement surgery (Lip Augmentation). Furthermore, she is still planning to do other surgeries. Another girl, Adele Sale (18 years old), died because of her unreasonable fears of her weight and appearance. Levy in Mail Online (2009) said that the girl committed suicide after having an eating disorder and depression.

I think many girls, like Paris Hilton and Adele Sale, are never satisfied with what they have because they let themselves enslaved by the socially constructed ideas of beauty. They are not grateful for what they already have. They do not think that it is better to stay just the way they are rather than to transform into "a beautiful monster" with a fake beauty. They also do not prepare themselves to face the worst things. Therefore, I think if someone is ready to be beautiful, she must also be ready to be ugly.

A girl wants to be more beautiful also because of the environments around her. She may be affected in any environment, but in my opinion there are only three environments that give the biggest influence to her. The environments are peers, workplaces, and also families. As we know, peers have a big influence in developing someone's life, whether it is going to be good or not. If a girl has some peers that glorify beauty, it can be ensured that she will feel ashamed if she can be like her peers. Moreover, she will get some pressures to do everything to be as beautiful as her peers or even more than her peers. The pressures often turn into bullying. It can happen in many public places and even schools.

The influence can also come from workplaces. It is not too different with the influence from peers because most of our peers also come from our workplaces. A girl whose work requires her to be "always perfect" must do a lot of things to maintain her appearance. This usually happens to a girl who works in entertainment and fashion industry, like Paris Hilton whom I have mentioned above. If she cannot maintain her appearance or make herself outstanding, she will be forgotten in her industry and lost her job.

Besides peers and workplaces, a family of course has a role to influence girls. Supports from family have a big power in the process of creating girls' life. If a family does not share their affection to their girls as equal as it is supposed to be just because one of them is not beautiful, it is totally wrong. In addition, sometimes a joke in a family about their girls' appearances also can influence mindsets of some girls. This happens to me. My sister is younger than me, but she is fatter than me. Sometimes my parents say that I am not their daughter because I am too skinny. I have tried very hard to be fatter than my sister because of my parents' words. However, now I have realized that I have to be grateful of my body whatever it looks like.

It cannot be denied that advertisements have a big role in influencing many girls to do a lot of things to be more beautiful. We can see advertisements on television, magazines, newspapers, billboards, and so on. Those advertisements offer different things in different ways. They intensively seduce and attack many girls to believe in what are sold. Beauty advertisements usually consist of advertisements of body and skin care products. The body products are body shapers, slimming, and body improvement products. The skin care products are skin whitening creams and lotions, serums, soaps, scrubs, cleansers and toners, foods, and supplements products.

Body shaper products consist of two types. Those products are a suit like Kozuii Slimming Suit and a tool like Slimming Belt JC 118. Both are used to make our body shapes ideal. Some drugs and foods can also make our body slim. Slimming Tea Mustika Ratu, WRP, and Thermolite Plus are several examples of slimming products. Those products are safe for consumption because they have fulfilled some provisions of BPOM. Meanwhile, according to Quo Vadis Indonesia (2011), ABC Acai Berry, Fatloss Slimming Beauty, and Fruta Planta are some of dangerous slimming products that "contain some substances that have been banned for use or should be used under medical supervision." The use of those products, even the herbal products, can endanger our bodies. The other body product is body improvement products. HiLo Milk and Grow Up Super USA are the examples. In their advertisements, HiLo Milk and Grow Up Super USA say that their products can help people increase their height in a short time without any side effects. However, we must still be careful.

The types of skin care products are more diverse than the body products. Nevertheless, I think all skin care products have same purposes: to make our skin whiter and brighter and to reduce some signs of premature aging, so that we will look younger and more beautiful than before. Most of the skin care products are skin whitening creams and lotions, serums, soaps, scrubs, and also cleansers and toners. We can find them in various brands with different range of price. Citra, Vaseline, Nivea, Pond's, Clean N Clear, Biore, Tje Fuk, Garnier, and Lux are some examples of brands of skin care products that we may often see in advertisements. Those brands usually consist of some series of beauty products that I have mentioned. Those products are also varied with different ingredients like green tea, juicy tuber, lemon, or yogurt to make consumers interested to buy them. The other skin care products are foods and supplements, like Buavita guava and Natur-E. Those products also often appear in advertisements and can be easily found in stores.

I think not all information in advertisements is true, but everything can be possible in advertisements. Those advertisements may often seem convincing and make sense. It is because the beauty products companies and advertisers use some advertising strategies to market the products so that they get much profit. As we can see in the newest Buavita guava's advertisement, the model says that she gets her beautiful skin by drinking Buavita guava regularly. Do you really trust it? I think no one even know whether she really drinks Buavita guava regularly to get her beautiful skin or not. What we may know for sure is she was paid to be the model of the advertisement and she had to say what was written in the script. However, many costumers especially girls are easily interested and believe in what is written on the products and what they see in advertisements. They do not even check whether the products are really useful or not. Many girls become the victims of advertisements. They sacrifice themselves to be the slave of beauty products even though there is no real guarantee that everything that is stated in advertisements of those products is true.

It is certainly true that everything that people do has its own causes and effects, including what many girls do to be more beautiful. The effects of beautification activities depend on the beautification activities themselves. For example, if we do too many plastic surgeries, some parts of our body may lose their real shape. Meanwhile, for the causes, I conclude that there are four main reasons that cause many girls do a lot of things to be more beautiful. Socially constructed ideas of beauty are the first and most influential reason. They come from people's judgments. They have a big power to control how a girl should maintain herself and her appearance. The second reason is many girls never satisfied. It is a human nature. Many girls will do a lot of things to be more beautiful until there is something that makes them stop. The third reason is there are some influences from the environments around girls, especially from peers, workplaces, and families. The environments often push many girls to do a lot of things to be more beautiful. The last reason that also important is there are a lot of beauty advertisements that seduce many girls. Beauty products companies and advertisers use some proven advertising strategies to market products, so that many girls will be interested to buy the products. Still, all the reasons that make many girls do a lot of things to be more beautiful leads many girls to create a fake beauty. They sometimes do not realize that their real beauty will turn into a fake beauty if they give too much manipulation on it. Thus, which beauty do you choose: the real one, or the fake one?

Writing Feedback / HOME SCHOOLING IS ACCURATE OPTION [3]

Homeschooling - Education

First, I will explain about the positive aspects of home schooling for parents. Parents feel responsible for the education of children and they want a closer relationship with their children. Basically, the parents seek for the best training methods for their children, because of that parents want to sacrifice more, especially in their children's education. This is mainly true of home schooling parents. Educating at home allows parents to monitor their children's experience to outside events. Child's growth and development are detached from the unknown realm. Throughout home schooling program, the emotional bonds (or the relationships or ties) between parents and children can be fostered, because the time that they spend with children together increases. Time spent learning together, talking together, and working together result in a more cozy relationship. A parent count the days until school is back in session will possible find, that she/he enjoys the companionship of her/his children. .

Second, the positive sides of home schooling received by children. In home schooling programs, children have the self-rule to choose when and where they want to study. For example, a child could do Math from 8:00-10:00, then do soccer from 10:00-11:00 and then finish the day doing homework. Homeschooled students are not restricted to a regular 2-hour practice time and a 6-hour learning day. The children can make his/her own schedule and may be more paying attention to do homework because he or she planned it out. They will have allowable option of passing on more hours to a difficult subject without putting more pressure on themselves. Children who may be better in English than Math have the chance to get a higher level English class while remaining in a lower level Math class. This way the lessons become fun and takes education to a personal quantity by learning about something which a person is interested in.

Children receive extra help in the subjects they are having trouble in. Parents can prefer a special curriculum to help with that difficult subject. For example, if the child is having trouble in history subject, there is a curriculum that makes history subject obvious and kinetic. Especially, for the subjects where children are excelling in, parents can make the assignments more challenging. During a normal school day there is a lot of busy work, however, by home schooling this pointless paper work can be eliminated, so that there is more time to spend on the important subjects. The best thing about the one on one education if the children do not understand something, parents can go over it until the children finally get fully understand about that. This type of learning goes at the children's step. For example, if on a science test this child does not do well, the parent can take his or her time going over this material, re-explaining it to the child, so that the child is able to finally understand the material. A one on one education really gives children the special attention that they needs. For example, my sister's friend, named Afian, is a homeschooled student, he ever told me about what he got when he was in home schooling program. Home schooling gave him the freedom to explore and experiment. He was never given real lessons on "how to write a sentence" but he learned in the same way he wrote history essays. He even managed to finish his essay writing book that year, too.

Homeschooled students also become more independent and more responsible with their behavior. For example, a home schooled child in high school is given a hand out paper to do at home in literature subject and given a date when it has to be completed. Since their teachers are their parents, the children cannot use excuses like, "my homework were lost on the way I went to school." Parents know what is exactly going on and there is no excuse for laziness. At home, they are not only taught about lessons in General, but also about the good attitude that should they practice in daily, such as, how to speak politely to parents, how to tidy up a bed room, how to clean the house, how to eat and drink well, how to pray to God. Home schooled children have extra time to be taught about these skills. Then, the instructors will practice it in front of children, in order they will practice it too by their selves. That will be the good habit for them. If they sometimes do mistakes, the instructors or parents are going to give them advice or a little punishment, in order to make them will not do the same mistake anymore. For example : the child does not want to pray to God before eating food or lunch, then, the parent can advice the child by telling him or her that God will get angry if he or she does not pray and be thankful for what has given by God for them. Not only that, the children who get their education at home will reducibly get bad influence of peer outside. As we know, some public school student sometimes do fight with their friend at school, or sometimes they speak using bad words which are inappropriate use by children. Those bad words which they get from their peer at school, will usually they use when they speak with each other, not only at school, even at home to their brother or their parents. So that, to decrease that bad thing happened, better for children get their education at home which will be controlled by their parents. Like the positive aspects that parents get from home schooling program, children who are taught at home also tend to have stronger relationships with their parents. This is because the children only usually spend, on the average, three to four hours per day receiving instruction. Then, they will spend more time with their parents, for example; they have planned to go travelling somewhere, or they can play some sport outside.

Third, the positive sides which home schooling present for education development. Home schooling method in learning is using the consciously process, organized and directed by the parents or family at home or other places where the learning process can take place on a conducive situation with the aim to develop potential, talents and interests of each children ( DEPDIKNAS : 2006, my translation ).

According to my sister's friend, home schooling system itself are provide an accommodating situation for learning about democracy: argues, refused the opinions and agree on certain values without having to get fear and pressure, also inspire to perform religious activities, and recreation with family. So that, the children are more prepared to understand their selves and their part in real life and real world. Not only that, one-on-one education method also makes the lesson that students get is more effective and focus with their interest in. In fact, home schoolers in first through fourth grades are able to do work an entire grade level above public and private school students. By the end of eighth grade home schoolers are able to do work at a twelfth grade level (Daniels, 2003). Yet, the research's results are accurate. The average national percentile rank of home schoolers is about 35% higher that the public school students' rank in all areas (Home Schooling Works). However, not only does higher achievement take place in the younger years, but it continues throughout high school as well. Their SAT and ACT scores are higher than the scores of regular students also (Daniels, 2003). They become better than other public school students because in studying at home, generally they use best, famous, and up to date text book. All academic achievement of homeschooled children has been notice of public. For example, in the National Spelling Bee Event, in 2000, the top three finalists were all home schoolers. In 2001 and 2002, the actual winners were bother students taught in the home setting (Daniels, 2003). In fact, many colleges desire home schooled students because they are good students. The average home schooled child does 80% better than the average student on regular standardized tests (Klicka Homeschooled Students Excel in College). Home schooled students also do exceptionally well on the SAT's, their average score is around 1083 and a non- home schooled child average is 1016 (Klicka Homeschooled Students Excel in College).

Home schooling system education has proved many kind of achievements that have created by home schooled students. These are name of public figures who have got success in their life now, they are Julian Assange, a Wikileak-site founder; Condoleezza Rice, a minister in USA; Erik Demaine, a math professor. Not only from abroad, in Indonesia itself there are many public figures that also became a homeschooled students, such as M. Syafei, KH. Agus Salim, and Ki Hajar Dewantara. These people are familiar and well-known by their achievements in science, politic, technology, and so on. These people also show us that home schooling system has helped them to reach their dream in real life.