Writing Feedback / Crime news should not be reported in newspapers or tv [7]

Dear S-boy!!
Well, I'm positive that each and every one of my corrections is undoubtedly correct. That's why I'm a CONTRIBUTOR and You are NOT !! :P

If you think you're still correct, scroll up and read Zhang's comment. That's rite, he's confused.
Again, to bring out the highest standards in writing you don't need to make it a mile wrong. Read a book by any famous Author and then your self made hypothesis "Long sentences = awesome" will reach oblivion.

Your sentences are like humongous dude and I speak for each and every one of them. Even if you use language or words of the highest degree, if they are vague and Long they do not make much sense and in short the reader gets bored.

So, Yeah I stand by to what I said. One More thing, your statement should have been " Eventhough I disagree with majority of the corrections.... " :P

Not intending to reply agn!!
Ciao

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay " Business Research Center OR Agriculture Center" [2]

I've just done a grammatical correction but that still does'nt save the essay .
Firstly, your essay has a certain lack of flow and your ideas keep on repeating over and over again. ( Eg- In the Para abt Agro center, you keep putting the ideas of it's impact on Industries)

Also you hav'nt answered the question accurately. The question clearly mentions "your choice" but you have vaguely just given the positives of either sides and not concluded which one of them you would prefer among the two in your homeland.

I'd say start your essay all over again and this time be precise with your choice " Either Agro center or Business Center" and NOT both.

Waiting for your New and Improved essay!! Good Luck (:

Graduate / Personal Statement for MPH Program - Concentration in Community/Global Health [5]

I made an error in the 3rd para -
Having lost quite a few some battles within the family to cancer, and after seeing so many people affected by it, the hysteria instigated my desire to learn about this viscous illness in general, parts of the globe that were most affected and reasons contributing to the same.

If there's no word limit, Id definitely say Go for it!! Otherwise I see no flaws at all, Clear thoughts flowing perfectly which would mesmerize any reader.

But that's my opinion, Just wait for reviews from other ppl
Tc (:

Writing Feedback / Job satisfaction and meeting employees needs - essay IELTS [4]

Seriously, you "laugh out loud" when ppl review your essay?? Thank you for making me feel miserable for helping you :l
Do get your essay done well... hopefully

Research Papers / Narrowing down a research topic about abortion. [3]

An Interesting Topic indeed!!
Like Susan said, you could bring out points on either sides of the topic and show contrasting opinions.
Positives - Abortion in every aspect of the word is a crime against the very Life we live each day. It would certainly be a check on the rising female foeticide worldwide.

Negatives - But this very evil turns out to be a blessing in disguise when the growing foetus threatens the life of the pregnant Mother or in case of rapes among young teenagers.

You could conclude in a subtle not by saying that MTP ( Medical Termination Of Pregnancy ) should not be banned completely but stringent methods should be adopted by the authorities to prevent it's misuse.

Hope it helps!! (: