Writing Feedback / History and China - Why Lehigh, need corrections [NEW]

Obsessed with the historical documentaries of his time, my father often watches them with great appreciation on the sofa. I was always puzzled with his rapturous expression but he told me that the changes in China have been so great and he even could not imagine it. These great changes may only call other children's gratitude to the life they are now living, but for me, they brought out my curiosity. I always asked myself: What caused the dramatic changes in economy and society of China? Why does China develop much faster than others?

From then on, I developed a great interest in economics and finance, and I had a clearer academic orientation. With reading the articles about Lehigh University on the internet, I was attracted by the sentence 'On the entrance of the university, students have to face the challenge in their study.' which comes from the school of business. Furthermore, Lehigh University lays emphasis on the cooperation and discussion among the students with different majors, all students may not just fettered by their own subject, they could learn more knowledge and experience, it'll be a rare opportunity for me to study in Lehigh University. I do hope I can make my own contributions to the economic development of China through the study in Lehigh University.

From more references about Lehigh University, I knew that its education focuses on practicing, which will carry us working ability and adapt ourselves to the modern life. Moreover, combining work with relaxation is the studying style which is no doubt fit to me. The beautiful and comfort campus with the conception of teaching 'learning business principles from business practice' confirms my belief to pursue my study in Lehigh University.

I believe that I can bring diversity to Lehigh University, since my homeland, China, which has totally five thousand years of history, influenced me a lot during the past eighteen years: I realized the profound mystery of calligraphy; I was attracted with Beijing opera; I learned to cook delicious Chinese food. Also, I experienced the great changing of China's economy, witnessed the developing of large companies as well as the bankrupt ones. I'm sure that my own knowledge with experiences can carry Lehigh University a more colorful and diversiform environment.

It's my essay of why I wanna go to Lehigh University. I really hope somesone can give some comments and corrections.

Thanks a lot~!

Undergraduate / significant experience - practicing playing the piano [3]

'Describes a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.'

One special experience has influenced me during the past ten years which will definitely influence the future is my experience of practicing playing the piano.

From the year I was only six, I became a "otaku" who stayed with the piano for most time. At the beginning, I complained and even hated to learn it, for I found that to practice playing the piano was so boring. I thought it was unfair for me to learn the piano all day while others play and enjoy their wonderful time. However things started to change over time.Later,I found the charisma of music as well as the piano, I found that music can carry me the relaxed feeling, so I decided to continue to learn .As a young child, more than three-hour practicing every day was hard and fatigue, I gradually to lie down on the job,I was not concentrate on playing the piano. One year's time playing piano in this 'poor' way past away like the river flows, I took the first-time 'Piano Level Test' in my province. Unskilled, forgetting the music score, I failed without a doubt. I was crest fallen and was totally defeated. At that time, my mother, who kindled my interest to piano at first, came to me and told me that interest and passion is far from enough, persistence is the key to the pursue of mastering the skills of playing the piano.

Bearing my mother's words in mind, I took full 3-hour time to practice every day. No matter what happened , I ensured the time taken because I know it was the first step, also the most important. Practice makes perfect ,I passed level-3 and level-6 with flying colors. I remembered that was one day in June,2001,I received an invitation of the city's music festival, The 'Golden Flower Festival'. Only five children would be chosen from totally 150 children who received the invitations, and I was one of them. It designated the song which seemed so difficult to me that I even didn't how to play it as I only had the ability of level-6.It as if that I got a great new car but I even didn't know how to drive! 'Never give up.',I said to myself and learned it note by note.I put all my mind into it in the short three-week time. The three weeks are just a periodic repetition of failure, correction .I persisted on it till the end even when calluses came up on my fingers. I never thought of giving up because I believe that my persistence would lead to final success. At the selection, I was chosen for my excellent performance and I was honored to participated the festival in July. I experienced the most royal ceremony in my childhood. It was the first time that I experienced the persistence for the pursuing what I yearn for and it was the most important lesson in my life. I believe that my persistence to tackle difficulties will enable me to pursue my further academic ambition in the university.

This is an essay about my significant experience
I hope someone can give me some suggestions and do some corrections

Thank you very much

Undergraduate / After-school activity - Role playing [4]

Please use the space below to tell us about your preparation for college. Explain any inter-ruptions in your schooling, e.g. military service or employment. Please tell us bout your important time commitments other than academic work (for example, school organization, jobs, the arts, service, and athletics).

Role playing is what I enjoyed for my after school activity, which has shaped my character. I grew up a shy boy, my face easily turned red when I talked in front of people. However, things started to change when I joined the drama club on the advice of my friend and played the role of Aragon, the main character in 'The Lord Of The Rings'.

At first, I was really baffled since Aragon, an assertive and outgoing man who is full of confidence, courage and fighting spirit, was totally different from me. However I decided to challenge myself and determine to do the job well. I watched the movie for at least five times to learn the behaviors of Aragon and tried to imitate his mood. I tried to look at everything in the eyes of Aragon and imitated his manner and tone to approach 'Aragon'. Not long after, with the persistence of training, my successful performance of Aragon won me the Best Actor Award in the English Festival. I really gained a lot of confidence and I liked the Aragon whom I performed, active and courageous.

Gradually, I found myself changed little by little under the influence of Aragon. It seemed that there was an Aragon lived in my heart. I became a ambitions young adult who is not afraid of taking challenges. By acting the different roles of different personalities, I discovered defects of my characters and tried to be a more consummate person. The most valuable thing I found in the role playing is that I became a person whom I appreciate and I want to be.

This is my essay about an activity.. I expect that someone can help me with it to give some suggestions and corrections.

Thanks a lot