Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'more and more international' - world is becoming a global village [3]

Hi!everyone
I am a undergraduate student from Thailand and I am intended to take the IELTS next week.
Would you correct my essay please.
My English is not good but I do my best to improve it before doing my master in UK this year.
Thank you so much in advance.

Q:It has been said that world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication.Do the benefits of globalization outweigh the drawbacks.

it is undeniable that our globe has been contracted into a village by electronic technology and movement of instant information through the access of internet or gadgets in real time.

Due to the fact that colonialism is expanding in this day and age,people from developing countries has been selecting new markets to release industrial products in the state of free trade.This essay will examine the benefits of globalistion.

Nowadays,people have easy access to the world's information such as news,education,environment more it is easier to contact each other from different part of the world by using the internet.This means that the world is becoming smaller and globalisation could bring the aspects from politics,economy,society and cultures together in one time to expand social sphere by browsing websites or interacting with others that share the same interests.Moreover,it could reduce poverty-stricken communities in developing countries as well as encourage investment of the world's economy.Take Thailand for example. Labors in Thailand would have more job opportunities from the state and outside the countries by increasing employment.For instance,TOYOTA,a company which is a popular brand producing cars and automotive spare parts,has many factories in developing countries in the southeast Asia.Because of a low-cost hired labors forced,TOYOTA produced automotive spare parts in less developed countries and then manufacture mostly in Japan.Consequently,job opportunities in Thailand and other third world countries have increased,and thus the global economy will improve.Globalisation not only creates economic opportunities but it also reduces poverty in the developing world.Although the drawbacks of globalisation could lead to unstable employment and environmental effects,I believe that these issues can be solved by appropriate implements.

With all things taken into consideration,globalisation could bring people together regardless of distance.People from different countries become more and more international by exchanging their knowledge and experiences rapidly through electronical technology and benefits to all have results.