Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by khan2013
Joined: Aug 13, 2012
Last Post: Sep 2, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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khan2013   
Sep 2, 2012
Undergraduate / "it's an adrenaline rush" - NYU- What intrigues you [4]

Your essay is great! In such a short length, you have clearly stated your message and how music has made an impact in your life. If it were me, I might add in a little incident or experience as to show how music affected you. If you feel like that is not something you would like to do, then your essay, as it is now, is wonderful! Good luck to you :)
khan2013   
Sep 2, 2012
Undergraduate / 'neither recognized nor rewarded' - Common App [6]

Your vocabulary is wonderful! It really adds to the details and imagery you are trying to portray. As for origniality, I also agree with Kevin- superb! As for your concern towards the end of your essay, the edited version ties back to the beginning clearly. I can understand how saving a life, be it even a tortoise, molded you into the person you are today. I like your essay, and like Kevin said, there are some grammatical errors that can be fixed, but other than that, it's great! Best of luck to you :)
khan2013   
Sep 2, 2012
Undergraduate / "Dr. Seuss's impcact" - COMMON APP- Someone who has made an impact on your life. [7]

Akshay- Thanks for heads up! I didn't realize it was just a page length now! I will make sure to take a look at your essay too. Thank you for your time!

Yeonjae- I completely agree. I also feel like talking about the doc is taking away my personal statement and morals of the story. I will make sure to take a look at your essay too! Thank you for your time and wishes! The best of luck to you as well :)

Kevin- I really do appreciate the criticism- It helps me understand what I am doing wrong, and the guidance will surely be to my benefit! Your suggestions put into effect will help me create a better essay, so thank you for your time!

Thanks everyone!
khan2013   
Aug 22, 2012
Undergraduate / "Dr. Seuss's impcact" - COMMON APP- Someone who has made an impact on your life. [7]

Hi! This is just a rough copy of what is going to be my college application essay. I'm not sure if I'm on the right track, so any help is appreciated! I personally feel I'm talking more about the life of my influential person, rather than the impact he has had on me. Please, feel free to criticize. Also, length wise, my essay is over 800 words. I'm not sure if that's good...let me know. Thank you!

A pallid colored door at the end of the hallway leads to her bedroom. A large "do not enter" sign is plastered with tape, a few centimeters shy of falling apart; clearly, company is not welcome. A bed, yet to be made, is positioned in the center of a slippery, wooden floor that is accompanied by garments and papers trying to find their way back home. An armoire to the right and a closet to the left complete the four corners of her walls. There is nothing extraordinary about her vivid partition or crème curtains, but near the exit is a chocolate colored bookshelf that cannot be missed. Hidden behind a stream of beads there is a room like no other- a rather loud space that seeks attention. The entry to this concealed territory is just two stairs away, where the bookshelf, which sits alone, invites her to its fanciful imagination. Organized alphabetically, the first and second shelf contain chapter books, novels, and educational videos covered in a thin layer of dust, lacking her interest; the second row from the bottom is what catches her eye. Organized not by name, but by color, is what makes this ledge unique. A pop of pink here and a burst of green there attract her to the whimsical creatures and characters created by Dr. Seuss. She picks her favorite Oh, the Places You'll Go!, opens it to page eleven, and in an inspired tone she sings, "So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ΕΎ percent guaranteed). Kid, you'll move mountains!"

Theodore Seuss Geisel, commonly known as Dr. Seuss, was born to make a difference in the world. Living in the early 1900's, his family settled down in the quiet suburbs of Springfield, Massachusetts, where his father managed a small brewery. Having no interest to continue the family business, he attended Dartmouth College where success followed his footsteps. Creating humorous illustrations and comic strips became a hobby for Dr. Seuss. His inspirational, yet entertaining cartoons allowed people to step away from reality and dive into an imagination of their own. But receiving recognition for his publications in magazines such as Jude, Life, and Vanity Fair wasn't enough- Dr. Seuss wanted to go big or go home.

Stimulated by the fervor of living life in the Golden Age and surviving an unexpected Great Depression, he wrote his very first book And to Think That I Saw it On Mulberry Street. He faced rejection over twenty seven times, but it wasn't anything that would deter the doc from his course. Despite humiliation, he continued to generate several political cartoons and prolonged his career of writing children's books. After many downfalls, he developed a colorful storybook The Cat in the Hat, which was when his creativity was given appraisal. The Cat in the Hat was his first accomplishment, followed by Green Eggs and Ham and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. His capricious mind allowed young readers to look at life through a different perspective. Through subtle messages, he promoted education by encouraging booklovers to aim high and reach for the stars. Through comical quotes, he motivated kids to show off their personalities, to stand out in the crowd. Most of all, he wanted his literary works to bring happiness into people's lives. He wanted to make others smile. He wanted contentment and glee. His thoughts were "If reality can't make it happen, then maybe my imagination can."

Dr. Seuss started making an impact in young children's lives long before he made a difference in mine. Not just his books, but his life in perspective has allowed me to become the person I am today. Ever since I started collecting his books and color coding them on my shelf, I was influenced to become a better human being. I was inspired to make a difference in the world. Dr. Seuss taught me that my education is important in shaping my future- who I am today will affect who I will be tomorrow. He showed me that rejection is okay- sometimes you have to fail in order to succeed; a little self-confidence can go a long way. He illustrated that a bit of creativity doesn't hurt. Opening my mind to new ideas will take me to great heights.

Whenever I need to get away from reality or ease my mind, I know that within the four corners of my walls behind a stream of picaresque beads, sits a chocolate colored bookshelf, and the second shelf from the bottom is where the book Oh the Places You'll Go! is located. If I turn to page eleven, I know that Dr. Seuss will say, "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
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