Undergraduate / Is it common app worthy ("My job is in the Pacoima Branch Library") [5]

I use this for my UC APP.
But I am currently running out of time to start a whole new essay for the common app, so do you guys think it is any good?

Be honest and if you spot any mistakes please let me know!!!!!
In advanced THANKS!!!!!!!!

My job is in the Pacoima Branch Library. I sit there and listen. I watch. I wonder. The doors open and a universe of different people wander before my gaze.

Some have been defeated by Pacoima with sirens shrieking, bullets flying, helicopters hovering, robberies and for lack of better words constant violence. Sitting behind the desk in the Library, I observe and realize that many in my community struggle. It appears as if every new day holds more problems than the last.

Others look defeated their faces hiding another reality. Walking through the library door, a mother drags in her three kids, who tug at her shirt as they ask, "What are we going to eat today?" Her face is blank not knowing what to answer. I sense she knows there is not much left at home; she looks preoccupied with bills and rent that must be paid. But even through those worries I see a woman that will defeat and overcome. I see a human being that is educating her children providing for them a better future.

A group of wanna be cholos walk in through the opposite door. To the common eye they may seem dangerous, but in my experience most are seeking to fit in, misjudged by society. When they approach the desk to ask questions, I realize with surprise that some in this group are trying to cover something up-- how smart they really are.

I hear the echoes of parentless children with no where to go at this time of day. They have not come to read and learn, but to play and hide as they dodge through the stacks. The children run around being loud and obnoxious only to get attention they lack from their parents who always have to work and are never around.

I now realize that the world is not full of enjoyment and delights, but hardships that one must learn to overcome. With the difficult economic situation, it has not been easy for anyone. We are constantly faced with obstacles that just get harder to overcome every day. Yet my community constantly proves itself to be full of warriors, that never give up and continue to fight for a common goal, a better future. They manage multiple jobs at low paying wages to be able to put bread on their table. As a community, we strive to keep ourselves pumping.

Pacoima is a prominent Latino and Black community that always gets the short end of the stick. And I am weary of seeing my community taken advantage of. Stereotypes often hide another reality-- the goodness and intelligence that people truly have.

All these sights from my Library desk tell me a few things: I must go to college and gain crucial living skills. I must make something out of my life so that I do not find myself dependent on others. I must come back to my community and work with the people here. I must remain inspired to make a difference. I must remain true to myself and keep the promise of making the world a better place. It won't be easy, but it will be done.

Undergraduate / Cornell ILR Supplement (San Fernando's Annual March for Justice) [4]

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exiting to you. In your essay please address how the ILR curriculum will help you fufill these interests and your long term goals.

* ok, so the prompt has to be max. 500 words, and I am at the 627 mark. And I still haven't added my concluding statement. So if you have any suggestions on what to cut out because it is useless or something that seems dull, please let me know!!!!!!!!! THANKS ahead of time!

Streets closed, young and old rallied up, red t-shirts being worn, banners and posters in every sight possible, but all for what? Five years ago I accompanied my older sisters to San Fernando's Annual March for Justice. Confused about what it means, so was I. I listened to various politicians speak along with our everyday average Jose. Through out their speeches they continue to mention a man named Cesar Chavez, they spoke about how the laborers and working community had rights and it was our duty to fight for them. We marched down the streets of our little San Fernando City chanting Si Se Puede (Yes we can) and El Pueblo Unido Jamas Sera Vencido (The people united will never be defeated.)

At that particular moment I was lost but simultaneously I was amazed beyond my understandment. As soon as I arrived home I questioned my sisters wanting to know more about the legacy of such a remarkable man. The more I heard of Cesar Chavez and the Farm Worker the more I was intrigued by them. They reminded me of people that I knew, hard workers simply trying to earn a living wage to put bread on their table.

Having a job, getting paid, and buying the necessities seems like a common story to many, but with the struggle of the farm workers I realized that there is still so much to do. As a result of this thought I decided to join the Cesar Chavez Commemorate Committee. I realized my place was helping put this great event together that reminds our community and its workers that they are not alone. And it was in our meetings that I met a Community Organizer from the Los Angeles Alliance for a New Economy (LAANE). The Cesar Chavez Commemorate Committee and LAANE have provided me with all the opportunities at a grass roots level I could have asked for. Because of such great organizations and people, I have been able to make a difference in a daily workers job. I have learned about labor cases, employers who must be stopped in order to stop the abuse, and best of all how to approach and issue that must be resolved (laborer to employer). But now I feel that I must commence a new journey in life, one that will have a greater impact in the world that surrounds me.

And the place for that voyage and growth is in Cornell University School of Industrial and Labor Relations. My past has provided me with unforgettable experiences that have shaped who I am and what I will fight for in life, but it is only my future that can give me the weapons to conquer the battles. The ILR School will provide me with the needed education to phase the world defending the rights of the labor force. With its six departments in one major program I will be able to study a broad of subjects that truly fascinate me, ranging from sociology, government, law, history, business, psychology and economics. This close-knit school will provide me with the attention that I want from my professors, the kind were they will know my name and I will not be just a number on a grade sheet. The kind were I can have a meaningful conversation with my classmates to the point to where they completely know who I am, but yet though be walking to my dorm and meet someone new everyday.

Being the only school of its kind ILR will be the stepping stone to what I plan to accomplish in life, a non-profit lawyer for the working community members. With its phenomenal program, I will be challenged to think and excel, preparing me for what's to come in Law School.

*btw any ideas for conclussions???????