Undergraduate / 'I returned to Korea and moved to Libya' - UC Personal Statement Prompt #1 [2]

"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

For me, I do not have a specific place that I can refer to as my home. Sometimes, I call my life a gypsy's life. This is because I have traveled to several places since I was small and developed a unique interest and love for all of those nations. Since I have had various experiences in the places where I have visited, I had an opportunity able observe the general economic conditions of the people first handedly and adopt their ways of life. These experiences have prompted me to want to pursue economics and be a person who works towards the transformation of livelihoods in our world.

I began to open my eyes to the world when I moved to Shanghai, China during fourth grade. As I stayed in Shanghai, I noticed that the number of skyscrapers in the city increased dramatically. I realized that China's culture of hard work had contributed to the growth of the city. However, as the city grew into a complex, modern center of commerce, more streets were occupied by homeless people, waiting to be hired by the construction companies. Despite being a child, I was shocked by the contrasting images of Shanghai.

I returned to Korea after finishing sixth grade in Shanghai. Although my family was not rich enough, we moved to a wealthy region in Gangnam (South of the Han River) due to my sister's high school allocation. The students in my new middle school had supercars and lived in the most exorbitant styles. My friends paid thirty dollars for a man's haircut and thought the price was reasonable. Awestruck by the excessive price, I always went to Gangbuk (North of the river), where I needed to pay only five dollars for a haircut. Learning that such disparity in living styles within a metropolitan city, I first handedly felt the seriousness of rich poor gaps in our society.

Later, I moved to Tripoli, Libya. Living in Libya gave me the opportunity to observe the way governance affects a country's economy. Yes, Gaddafi was a ruthless dictator who crushed the freedom of Libyans; however, I believe that he greatly lessened the rich poor gap among the citizens. Gaddafi provided money, bread, and housing to every Libyan citizen. He maintained the gas price so that the people would pay less than ten dollars to fill their cars' tanks. Under his rule, Libya's economy started to grow as he opened his borders.

Although I have lived for only eighteen years, I realized that I have developed an eclectic view of the world economy. I wish to empower the less fortunate in the society and thus bridge the gap between the rich and the poor. My long term goal as a result of this vision is therefore to work in international organizations such as the IMF and the World Bank which deal with such issues. I believe that with this vision, I can be able to be part of the people who will work towards the implementation of policies in such institutions aimed at transforming the way individuals in different societies live and particularly the poor.

Undergraduate / 'The New Kid' - UC Personal Statement Prompt #2 [13]

"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

I moved to Trinidad and Tobago in 2009. Because of their lovely beaches and weather, I thought that I could finally settle in a hospitable country. Despite the unfamiliar African and Indian culture, the Trinidadian slang, and being a minority, I had a feeling of adapting to the new environment.

On the first day of school, I entered the wearing the school's blue shirt and khaki pants. The school was painted in light blue, giving me a sense that I actually belonged there. Unfortunately, my schoolmates did not give me that feeling. They ignored me, shoved me, called me "Chiney," and harassed me in every possible way.

Few weeks from then, I joined the soccer team. It turned out that I was the youngest, and the only Asian in the team. Naturally, people's attitudes carried onto the field. When I missed the required shots, people came to inquire from me how I had managed to join the team with such incompetent skills. Soon, they started to tackle me unduly aggressively. In one instance, one pushed me down and said "soccer ain't for tiny Chineys like you! You don't belong here."

That night, I laid down on my bed contemplating whether to quit the team or not. I was afraid that this hatred and discrimination would continue until I graduated. However, I realized that if I quit, I was doing nothing more than capitulating myself to the racial segregation.

The next day, after completing my school time, I headed for the soccer pitch. When I saw the goal post from far away, I stopped walking and hesitated whether I should keep trying or not. But, I kept reminding myself that this was my chance. A chance I believed that if I let go, it will never come back. I thus continued walking towards the sandy pitch. I sat on the bench to put on my soccer cleats. One member came up and asked me "how can you kick a ball with those feet?" I replied, "I will show you today."

As the game began, I stayed on the upper portion of the field to wait for chances. As usual, when I threw my right arm up and signaled for a pass, my teammates ignored me. Then, I knew that method would not get me any further. I therefore went to compete for the ball. I was pushed to and fro, but I also pushed them back. When I stole my opponent's ball, I took a shot immediately and watched it bend into the goal. After the game, people approached me and apologized for the mistreatment which had happened before. What surprised them was the fact that I accepted their apology with a smile. Soon people in my school started accepting me not as a small Asian, but who I really am.

By observing the change I have created, I gained a confidence that I could overcome greater adversities that I would face in the future. As a result, I learned to cope with greater issues that I faced in my life.

I know it needs some work. But can you guys please give me specific areas I should touch upon?