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Posts by I like Cookies
Joined: Oct 27, 2012
Last Post: Dec 23, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
From: usa

Displayed posts: 8
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I like Cookies   
Dec 23, 2012
Undergraduate / Dear future college buddy - Stanford essay [4]

the "so obviously, i love mexican food" is meant to be a joke. You would think that because im indian, I would love Indian food but nope, Im a Mexican food nut (which is actually the way many indian people are - we love mexican food).
I like Cookies   
Dec 23, 2012
Undergraduate / Dear future college buddy - Stanford essay [4]

Dear future college buddy,

I'm so excited about college! We are going to have so much fun! Sure, we will have to study because we are at the prestigious Stanford, but still, we are going to be living in a college campus in California. Party time.

A little bit about myself, I want to major in computer science so yes I am nerdy. But, like most Comp-Sci people I'm pretty chill. I know that people think the typical computer science major is a reclusive bore who sits in front of his computer all day. Not me. I'm a very outward person - I'm in Model UN. MUN kids have to be loud to do well.

I suppose like other MUN kids, I also love to watch TED Talks. TED Talks give us a new perspective on world events which we can then use in competitions. So, don't be surprised if I'm walking around trying to convince people of some innovative idea. At the same time, people say it's weird that I love to randomly incorporate "wise" phrases that I hear on TED into everything I say. It's not weird; it's unique.

Now, let's get down to business - food. I am vegetarian so I think we should have two separate microwaves, unless of course you are a vegetarian too. I know that upperclassmen choose roommates at Stanford, but I have no idea whether they take into account diet restrictions so I have no idea whether or not you are a vegetarian. If you are, great. If not, like I said, I'm chill with that.

I'm Indian (the ones Columbus was looking for), so obviously, I love Mexican food. Thus every Saturday night, I like to watch some random movie and make myself an awesome burrito. I suppose one unique insight I'm bringing with me is my burrito recipe. Believe me when I say I make a mean burrito - my high school friends actually beg me to bring them burritos from time to time.

I can't wait to meet you in person. I know we will be great friends.

**my name**

Hi guys, Im not really sure how to end this - any ideas? Also, any other criticism about anything is awesome. thanks.
I like Cookies   
Nov 7, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Parodying Musics' - Caltech: Describing an Unusual way in which you have fun [8]

The idea here is great but I think you need to explain it a little bit more. I see that you like to have fun by making fun of songs but there is no real coherent message that pops out at me. You just listed three incidences of act. You could write about just one song flip-flop and then use rest of the essay to formulate something about yourself.
I like Cookies   
Nov 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Effort to keep some things private' - question for the SAT [3]

instead of "and so on" use et cetera
semicolon after Websites like these weren't previously available;
semicolon after wide scale;
dont use "in my opinion"

try to separate into paragraphs.
I like Cookies   
Nov 7, 2012
Undergraduate / Cornell Essay - evolution of intellectual interests - "Success!" [5]

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further

Success!
"align: center;" Nope."display: block;" No. "margin: auto;" My header is finally centered! Success!
Or is it? It took three separate google searches just to center my header. I still have the rest of the website to code.
Following in my dad's footsteps, I chose to jump into computer science. After any mind-numbing computer science puzzle, the sense of accomplishment I feel is unparalleled, but the lack of usefulness of my task is undeniable. From Facebook to Google, computer science has greatly furthered mankind; however, the average computer science major is simply coding something that his company orders him. He is working without a real sense of how his work is useful. Where's the success in that?

With this belief, I walked into my first economics class my junior year. And immediately, Mr. Clement related economics to life. Given that a person would give up a hot date for $20 or receive an average grade on a quiz for $10, what is his best option for Thursday night? The opportunity cost of the date is greater so it is better for me to spend Thursday evening picking out a nice suit rather than studying. From then on, I knew economics was going to be a major part of my life.

Throughout the year, I learned that economics is F.U.N. The F stands for freedom. I can apply my economics knowledge to almost anything I want. I am not constrained to coding, but can use economics to understand people's decisions, to speculate stocks, or to simply manage money. I am free to concentrate my skillset however I wish.

The U stands for us. A key part of economics is understanding ourselves. Economics relies on the decisions that people generally make to make assumptions about the flow of economic activity. In fact, behavioral economics takes "know[ing] thyself" to a whole new level by systematically accounting for emotional factors in shaping people's lives.

The N stands for novel. Economists see "conventional wisdom" through their lenses and determine whether what we thought obvious is actually correct. For example, the seven members of Dyson's Business Opportunities in Leadership and Diversity (BOLD) Program who went to Haiti learned that the large clothing donations developed countries make to Port au Prince ravishes the native textiles industry. By trying to help, we are hurting Haitians. Who knew? These seven members learned and are now teaching us. I want to be a part of BOLD to learn these novel lessons and in the process help Haitians and others across the world.

Unlike a computer scientist trapped in a cubicle, these seven members of BOLD clearly understand how their work is useful. As an economist, I will too. Now, that is true success.
I like Cookies   
Oct 28, 2012
Undergraduate / Princeton: Influential Person essay [3]

MrFed
your writing style is great, but you have a HUGE problem with the main point of your essay - the essay is suppossed to use your view of your Mom to describe YOU. Colleges - not to be mean - do NOT care about your mom. They want to know you. What your should do is have a quick piece about your Mom and then write about how it relates to you. At my school, the teachers advise that you highlight the essay in two differnent colors, say red and orange. Red for when you talk about yourself and orange for when you talk about your mom. Make sure that the final draft is 2/3 RED.
I like Cookies   
Oct 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Chemistry major is my goal' - Common App Suplement [3]

Not to point out the obvious but this is a short essay. In these very short essays, I think it is best to be very specific about one point. So instead of talking about a bunch of different fields of science. Just start with I like pharmacy or something like that and then explain why pharmacy is awesome. I know that is basically asking you to redo this essay, but since its so short, I'm hoping that its alright.
I like Cookies   
Oct 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My heroes, engineers' - Why engineering - yale supplement [3]

Thanks anyone who is willing to read and edit my essay. Also, I will read your and edits your essay too. Thanks.

If you selected one of the engineering majors, please write a brief third essay telling us what has led you to an interest in this field of study, what experiences (if any) you have had in engineering, and what it is about Yale's engineering program that appeals to you.

* *
* *

"Connect these four dots with three lines." Little did my teacher know, she was about to change my life. I drew three lines along three edges. Nope. That only connects three dots. Second Try: I tried connecting two edges then making a slant towards the opposite corner. Nope- failed again. I tried again and again using the same flawed technique and failed every time. I became frustrated; why wasn't it working? My teacher saw my frustrated-red face and my constantly-moving hands and realized that I was not going to stop. To my dismay, she then showed me the solution. You have to draw two lines along the edges and extend them past the corners. A final line then connects both of these lines and intersects the final dot. To solve this puzzle, you had to literally think outside the box.

Ever since my teacher showed me this puzzle, I have yearned to see things differently. From time to time, I do something unique like writing a poem about struggle that is based on itsy bitsy spider or starting an essay with four dots because I cannot think of a good intro, but these instances are few. Still, I cannot help but hope that someday I will be unique enough to see everything differently.

My heroes - engineers - are already doing so. Engineers took an almost unused Colorado River and turned it into the power source for three states through the Hoover Dam. Engineers compiled all the information in the world and put it into an easily accessible website like Wikipedia. Engineers harnessed the power of something as fickle as feelings to make something as successful as Facebook. Engineers know how to think outside the box.

My dream is that someday, with enough practice, I will be able to become an engineer thus able to think differently. Right now, my problem is that when I try to think outside the box, sometimes I think too far outside and cannot find the original dots any more. The solution here is simple - have other people guide me. With Yale's unbelievable 1:1 student to faculty ratio, I will have the individual attention that I need to remain somewhat on path.
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