magoc_conch
Nov 20, 2012
Undergraduate / founding fathers essey; 'Walking down the street I met a man' [3]
thank you for the help
thank you for the help
magoc_conch
Nov 2, 2012
Writing Feedback / Fiction books are better than reality? - essay [3]
Here are some grammatical errors you might want to change.
In the last Paragraph "percieve" is spelled wrong it is Perceived
Also there should be an 'and' before perceived.
In the First paragraph Established Facts should have an 'and' before it.
In the third paragraph "aqainted" is spelled wrong it is Acquainted.
Next in the second paragraph the second sentence is a fragment try putting I think this because or I believe this because.
In the third paragraph cinderella should be capitalized.
In the third paragraph "theimselves" is spelled wrong Themselves.
Also in the forth paragraph "characrers" is spelled wrong Characters.
And after the "heros" is spelled wrong Heroes.
In the forth and fifth paragraph "favourite" is spelled wrong Favorite.
Next in the second paragraph it is children's brains
.
In the third paragraph various kind changes to various kinds.
Then after that himself changes to him.
Finally in the forth paragraph authors changes to author's.
You did a Good Job though.
Please Check Out My Forum Thank You.
Here are some grammatical errors you might want to change.
In the last Paragraph "percieve" is spelled wrong it is Perceived
Also there should be an 'and' before perceived.
In the First paragraph Established Facts should have an 'and' before it.
In the third paragraph "aqainted" is spelled wrong it is Acquainted.
Next in the second paragraph the second sentence is a fragment try putting I think this because or I believe this because.
In the third paragraph cinderella should be capitalized.
In the third paragraph "theimselves" is spelled wrong Themselves.
Also in the forth paragraph "characrers" is spelled wrong Characters.
And after the "heros" is spelled wrong Heroes.
In the forth and fifth paragraph "favourite" is spelled wrong Favorite.
Next in the second paragraph it is children's brains
.
In the third paragraph various kind changes to various kinds.
Then after that himself changes to him.
Finally in the forth paragraph authors changes to author's.
You did a Good Job though.
Please Check Out My Forum Thank You.
magoc_conch
Nov 2, 2012
Undergraduate / Babies Youth Children Empowerment - seeking help with my little essay! [2]
Here are some grammatical you could fix:
The comma after tutor should be a semi colon.
Also when you did the parenthesis I think you should you Desire.
Since there is a 1000 word max try and get quite a bit of words they want you to elaborate. Try using an example.
Besides that you did a Great Job.
Please Check Out My Forum Thank You
Here are some grammatical you could fix:
The comma after tutor should be a semi colon.
Also when you did the parenthesis I think you should you Desire.
Since there is a 1000 word max try and get quite a bit of words they want you to elaborate. Try using an example.
Besides that you did a Great Job.
Please Check Out My Forum Thank You
magoc_conch
Nov 2, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Changing your road towards success' - Never Give Up essay [3]
Here are some grammatical errors that should be changed.
Urgence in the 4th line of second paragraph needs to be changed to urgency.
In the last paragraph change the comma after principles to a semi-colon .
In the last sentence of the 1st paragraph the comma after fact should be a semi-colon.
However you did a very good job.
Please Check My Forum Thank You
Here are some grammatical errors that should be changed.
Urgence in the 4th line of second paragraph needs to be changed to urgency.
In the last paragraph change the comma after principles to a semi-colon .
In the last sentence of the 1st paragraph the comma after fact should be a semi-colon.
However you did a very good job.
Please Check My Forum Thank You
magoc_conch
Nov 1, 2012
Undergraduate / founding fathers essey; 'Walking down the street I met a man' [3]
Here is my essay please say anything that could improve it or lengthen it
Thank you
Walking down the street I met a man; however this man was dressed as if he came for the seventeen hundreds so I approached him.
I came up to him and said hello slowly judging him with a close eye he then to my surprise immediately shook my hand firmly and said his name was "Alexander Hamilton". Since it was common courtesy I said mine.
After this I became very interested in this man especially since I thought I had heard this name before. I didn't want to suddenly assault him with questions especially since he seemed more dumfounded then me.
Before he opened his mouth again I became even more baffled, I just realized he was one of our Founding Fathers.
Quickly, I racked my brain for a question to ask a founding father. So I blurted out "Why did you write the Declaration of Independence."
Instantly he knew the answer. He told me that the Articles of Confederation provided to weak of a government and needed to be changed. However, it took many arguments to plan the Constitution. But, even after the Constitution was written other members of the Constitutional convention started to rebel and say that the Constitution didn't provide a Bill of Rights and that the people needed their freedoms.
Subsequently he told me that after more conventions the members decided on amendments which included a Bill of Rights that provided the people with inalienable rights. And then all thirteen states ratified the constitution.
After the 10th president of the United States was done speaking I wanted to ask another question, however I got a rude awakening to my history teacher asking what is would ask a founding father if I ever met one.
Here is my essay please say anything that could improve it or lengthen it
Thank you
Walking down the street I met a man; however this man was dressed as if he came for the seventeen hundreds so I approached him.
I came up to him and said hello slowly judging him with a close eye he then to my surprise immediately shook my hand firmly and said his name was "Alexander Hamilton". Since it was common courtesy I said mine.
After this I became very interested in this man especially since I thought I had heard this name before. I didn't want to suddenly assault him with questions especially since he seemed more dumfounded then me.
Before he opened his mouth again I became even more baffled, I just realized he was one of our Founding Fathers.
Quickly, I racked my brain for a question to ask a founding father. So I blurted out "Why did you write the Declaration of Independence."
Instantly he knew the answer. He told me that the Articles of Confederation provided to weak of a government and needed to be changed. However, it took many arguments to plan the Constitution. But, even after the Constitution was written other members of the Constitutional convention started to rebel and say that the Constitution didn't provide a Bill of Rights and that the people needed their freedoms.
Subsequently he told me that after more conventions the members decided on amendments which included a Bill of Rights that provided the people with inalienable rights. And then all thirteen states ratified the constitution.
After the 10th president of the United States was done speaking I wanted to ask another question, however I got a rude awakening to my history teacher asking what is would ask a founding father if I ever met one.
