WakaDHaka
Jan 2, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Africa's underdeveloped country' - Pitzer Supplement [2]
What is Pitzer? I am asking because I am curious of the degree of formality needed for the essay, for example, "Tell me that does not sound ridiculous."
Although you have touched on the 5 core values, I think you need to do it more explicitly to do well on the essay, plus I think they expect more content as you have around 700 words, so it'll help beef it up.
It's great that you share personal things that are relevant, like your uncle. You are right that developing the infrastructure in third world countries is more important than aid in the long term. You indirectly mentioned it, but yes, creating an economy aka creating jobs is ideal to help solve the issue, perhaps you can go into more detail there. (foreign investment?)
One idea to tackle this essay is to create a paragraph for each of the core values and integrate it into solving the issue of world hunger.
Overall it's a great start, best of luck on this contest/application!
What is Pitzer? I am asking because I am curious of the degree of formality needed for the essay, for example, "Tell me that does not sound ridiculous."
Although you have touched on the 5 core values, I think you need to do it more explicitly to do well on the essay, plus I think they expect more content as you have around 700 words, so it'll help beef it up.
It's great that you share personal things that are relevant, like your uncle. You are right that developing the infrastructure in third world countries is more important than aid in the long term. You indirectly mentioned it, but yes, creating an economy aka creating jobs is ideal to help solve the issue, perhaps you can go into more detail there. (foreign investment?)
One idea to tackle this essay is to create a paragraph for each of the core values and integrate it into solving the issue of world hunger.
Overall it's a great start, best of luck on this contest/application!