Undergraduate / "A pair of recycling hands" Tulane Personal Statement Essay [3]

Hi guys :)
This is my Tulane Personal Statement Essay.
Basically I have no idea if my personality shines through enough or if I'm placing commas in the right places :D
So prompt
(Using the space below, please write between 250 and 500 words to describe a special interest, significant experience or achievement, or anything else that has special meaning to you or had a significant influence on you.)

A pair of hands carefully rummage through a mountain of old classwork papers peppered with scores of unwanted plastic bottles. They furiously separate smushed up Aquafina bottles from old chemistry worksheets in the standard green recycling bin. These are hands that have recycled the schools reusable goods for around 4 years now. They are the hands of a veteran, ones that can quickly sort through any waste thrown in their way and easily identify trash from reusable goods. They are the hands of a member of the Environmental Club, a club dedicated to recycling the whole school on Thursday afternoons.

These hands weren't always this way. At the beginning, they were a small pair hands belonging to a shy looking girl. They didn't know the difference between the handling of cardboard and paper or glass and plastic. They did however, care about the environment and definitely wanted to make a difference where they could. Therefore they were brought to the Environmental Club by the reclusive girl in hopes of making new friends and learning more about the Earth.

And luckily for her, the girl did find those things. Through her years at Environmental Club, she went from standing awkwardly in the corner to finding many people who were equally passionate about the environment as she was. She went from doing only her weekly duty of recycling to participating in the school's Earth Day festival, staying after hours to help out in any way she could. As for her hands, they went through a lot too during those years: sorting thousands of bottles and of papers, transferring hundreds of pounds of reusable goods into large recycling dumps, and tossing away hundreds of pieces of trash. Throughout the years, they grew larger and tanner as Environmental Club led the girl not only into recycling, but also into volunteering at the local wetland and lake, and led the hands to don gloves and pick up trash on a long stretch of highway.

Throughout the years, those hands learned the true meaning of "reduce, reuse, recycle." Through digging around bins in the Environmental Club, they learned to apply those values into more aspects of life. They learned to reuse, often sifting through clothing racks at Goodwill and thrifting, instead of buying expensive jackets at Macy's. And they learned the true meaning of recycling. "One man's trash is another man's treasure" became the girl's motto. The recycling bins taught her that, after showing her so many perfectly usable folders, binders, and papers, all being tossed away. They showed her that recycling doesn't just mean sending things off to the waste recycling center. Recycling could simply be reusing resources. In those years, most of her school supplies came from those trusty green bins.

Through Environmental Club, these hands have rummaged through a fair share of recycling bins. And these hands will continue to recycle. They have sworn to protect the environment and teach people the importance of reducing, reusing and recycling, one unwanted bottle at a time.

yeah. I am in desperate need of any and all advice. Free internet cookies for everyone xD