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Posts by JulieRose
Joined: Nov 16, 2012
Last Post: Dec 5, 2013
Threads: 4
Posts: 10  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 14
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JulieRose   
Dec 5, 2013
Scholarship / A narrative on what I learned or Something I encountered [3]

I was not qualified to sign up but i did anyway. A few students in my school were selected to apply and they did. On the New York State Summer School for the Arts application, I hesitated to select film and video because that was what my teacher taught but I was more interested in photography; so I ticked the little black box. I love photography and I believed that this program would help me to see what photography is like through the perspectives of others. I sent in my portfolio and patiently awaited what was to come.

About two months later, as soon as I came home from school, I started my homework. I hugged and kissed my mother and then she smiled and told that there was a big yellow envelope from the New York State Summer School for the Arts. I picked up the envelope and ripped it open. I read the paper quickly with widened eyeballs from left to right as the thoughts in my head grew. My heart was filled with joy. After all those weeks searching for internships and things to do I finally got accepted to do something I love.
JulieRose   
Nov 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] experiences that have shaped your outlook and the way you live [5]

Take out "are" in the second sentence. Dont tell your audience what your are foing to do, do it.
When you use secondly and lastly in those paragraphs you will have to use it in the first paragraph as well.
Expand a little more on those paragraphs.
JulieRose   
Nov 20, 2013
Essays / Health Care Availability (need to write a working thesis and outline) [5]

Research on affordable health care - need thesis and intro

It is based on if i agree or disagree with healthcare. I agree and i have to write in 3rd person

Everyone should be entitled to affordable health care. It is crucial to the functioning of a community, and is needed to keep the commonwealth of society.

Better thesis? and how should I continue from this?
JulieRose   
Nov 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / This movie is very hysterical when one is watching it alone; Film Review - The Dictator [2]

The Dictator is an American comedy film that was directed by Larry Charles in 2012. The main actor is Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays the dictator, Aladeen, and in the fabricated country of Wadiya. Cohen also plays the American character, Allison Burgers who falls in love with Anna Faris, who plays Zoey, the vegan activist. Ben Kinsley plays the role of Aladeen's unscrupulous uncle,Tamir. The plot is not only predictable but highly intrusive on personal rights. The Dictator, while being an incredibly hilarious film, is highly racist, and uses discrimination amongst other things to derive laughter from the audience.

This movie is very hysterical when one is watching it alone, but sitting in a room full of diverse students, it wasn't fully effective as before, especially when they laugh at a racist joke. The use of provocative scenes shows the director's desperation for the audience's attention. The complete lack of respect towards women represent the Arabic culture, where women still treated as sexual objects. For instance, in the opening scene, right after his birth, Aladeen's mother was killed, thus showing the truth in the Arabic culture that is prominent to this day. If the movie wasn't clouded with Cohen's idiocracy, the movie would have been a mass offense to women. When "Allison Burgers" helped a couple give birth to a newborn, he was quick to try and dispose of the baby when discovering it was a female. the movie subtly hints to the Arabic culture's leniency towards female baby abortion.

The most hysterical moment in this movie is when Aladeen and his friend Jason Mantzoukas, who plays Nadal board a helicopter to view the Lancaster hotel and they begin to reminisce on the flight of 911. There was also an American couple in the helicopter who seemed jovial. The motion of the camera in this scene impacted the whole situation. For instance when Aladeen and his friend began to talk they spoke in both english and their native language. The camera zoomed in on the words in english which were "911," "twin tower," and then they began to mention other sites that were not attacked by terrorist. This scene represents what people think when they hear Arabs speaking their native language but when they began to utter the pst event, they were bound to be imprisoned.

The conclusion of the movie opens the eyes of the American people when Aladeen begins to describe what he believes are the benefits of a dictatorship. This description describes exactly the democratic system in America. It is evident in today's society, where there is wide range of black non-hispanics in the America's prisons based on the bureau of statistic in the U.S Department of Department. Although this movie was entertaining many ways, it was also dirscriminative and rude. It brought up important issues in today's society that awakened people.
JulieRose   
Jan 30, 2013
Scholarship / MY DREAM ; Pace U- Business Administration/ Photography/ Travel [3]

I am always dreaming. I have set a high standard for myself. When I enter college, I plan to maintain an average of at least a ninety-five. My dream is to attend Pace University and study business administration. While studying, I will have time to do what i love the most, photography. I expect to see changes in the school system that would include better programs and teachers. I would be traveling all over the world. I would donate to those people who are starving or homeless. I would start a program where you can help the homeless or helpless get a job and a place to stay. I would give speeches at high school encouraging children to do the best they can to make the best of their life.

I wish to learn how to play the violin, guitar and the accordion. These are what makes peaceful and beautiful music.I plan to write several books. I feel it will be very interesting

In my school children discriminate and sometimes it breaks me but I don't let that get in the way of my dreams and goal. i won't let words against me be an obstacle. It is my motivation. My dreams may be shattered because of my financial situation. Millions of students will be applying for scholarships, I hope to be that one in a million.
JulieRose   
Nov 16, 2012
Undergraduate / Photography and bees - Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities. [4]

Is this better ?

I love photography like a bee loves honey. Photography has always been a part of my life. My grandfather was a great photographer. I remembered that when he died. This whole time I loved photography and forgot about his illustrious skills. I never realized until my art teacher gave us students cameras to go out and take photos for several contests. The beauty of life was revealed in my eyes. I felt like this was the love of my life. . I love capturing the things that people do not usually recognize as beauty. It records portions of my life and places and events I have been to. I love looking at photographs and remembering what happened. A photograph says a thousand words that has a million different meanings to every individual.

I went to the New York State Summer Program for the Arts at SUNY Oswego and I was takign photography class. It was a wild experience. The teachers were much different than I thought they were going to be. I met a lot of people with very unique personalities. In this program I learned the deepness, and basics that I did not know of in photography. One month of photography, eight hours a day was really worth it.

I have won many contests in school and other places. I take pictures at church events and school awards. Photography is one of my great accomplishments. It is one thing I will forever be involved in.
JulieRose   
Nov 16, 2012
Undergraduate / Photography and bees - Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities. [4]

I love photography like a bee loves honey.I discovered photography in the tenth grade when my art teacher gave us cameras to take photos for a photo contest. The beauty of life was revealed in my eyes. I felt like this was the love of my life. I found peace in photography. I love capturing the things that people do not usually recognize as beauty. It records portions of my life and places and events I have been to. I love looking at photographs and remembering what happened. They give me good memories, and memories keep me sane.
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