Graduate / Physical Therapy School Personal Statement: Goals in pursuit of physical therapy [3]

Hi Ramesh,

Your essay reads well. The linking between sports and physical therapy, and tying it in with your own personal experience was done well!

Your essay might benefit from attention to style and thorough proofreading, though. For example, "Dodd ensured me that he would work as diligently as he could..." should be "Dodd assured me.." There are a couple of other typos/mistakes like that.

Finally, is there a word limit imposed? If not, you could consider adding more details; it seems a little shorter than average.

If you'd like more tips, you might want to check out our Facebook page, synapse.editing.

Graduate / Academic Statement Of Purpose for PhD in mechanical Engineering [4]

Hi Sunil,

Have you completed writing the SOP yet? It seems a little abruptly cut off.

A couple of quick suggestions: do pay careful attention to language. There are quite a few grammatical errors. For example, "I has also done simulation work on I C engines and other thermal systems" should be "I have also done simulation work.."

You have good raw material for your SOP there, you just have to construct a better structure to make the SOP more streamlined. You can also consider adding some details as to why you'd make a good research student. Remember, it's not about repeating your resume, it's about presenting it in an interesting way.

If you'd like more tips, you can check out our Facebook page, synapse.editing.

Graduate / Data Storage Security in Cloud Computing - SOP for Master In CS [4]

Hi Anurag,

The content part of your SOP is fine, but you'll have to work a little on style and sentence construction. Pay attention to grammar!

For example, this sentence is not grammatical: "The passing of my undergraduate college examination with First Class with Distinction in Information Technology at Sinhgad Institute of Technology, University Of Pune." Say something like, "I did my undergraduation course in.."

This is another such ungrammatical sentence: "I have also found penchant for Network Security, Data Structures, Operating System, and programming languages." Go for something like, "I have found Network Security, Data Structures, Operating System, and programming languages interesting."

My advice would be to get your SOP checked by someone who's good with writing and grammar. The content of your SOP is fine, so make sure you don't miss out because of minor errors!

For more SOP tips you can visit our website at synapsegroup.in or follow us on Facebook.

Graduate / essay for PhD position in evolutionary biology [5]

Hi Akanksha,

This is an application for PhD, so you'd need to be a bit more elaborate about what you've done so far. You've talked about what draws you towards biology, but that's not as important at this stage as it would be for an undergrad. Consider keeping that to a minimum, and instead, going into more detail about the research work you've done in your Master's. Mention any significant results you've achieved, papers published, and reports/dissertations written.

Please reconsider the ideas you're using for your essay to be more effective!

For more help, tricks and techniques you can look at our Facebook page. Find us at Facebook/synapse.editing.

Best of luck,

Synapse Editing

Graduate / SOP for masters in CS [6]

Hi Rishi, you have a strong application. Consider the following points, though.

Substance:
1. There is some information you've added that might not be necessary/relevant. For example, the fact that your parents are doctors, or the names of all your instructors. I don't think you need to add them unless they're all household names in your field. Read every line of your essay and ask yourself what it's there for, and what you intend to convey with it. And if it's unnecessary, delete ruthlessly.

Language:
1. You might have to tweak the language a bit in some places. For example, "I wrote my first C program in 9th class itself" is not really grammatical written English, though it gets used conversationally.

2. Also, it's important not to shy away from stating what you've done, but remember to appear modest as well. Phrases like "Due to my excellent analytical and research skills" could do with a rewrite.

You can check out our SOP writing tips on our Facebook page for more; it's synapse.editing.

Best of luck,
Synapse Editing