SOP for masters in CS

Please give suggestions on how to improve my SOP

I am applying to XXX University for admission to the Master's Program in Computer Science. I am interested in Database Systems, Semantic Web and Soft computing.

My obsession with computers started the first time I used one, in third grade. I used to refer to it as the 'magic box' - due to its endless possibilities. Fifteen years later, the computer still amazes me with its ever increasing applications in every field of work and recreation. This fascination, molded by my undergraduate work and exposure, has turned into a determination to study the subject deeply and do some valuable research. The craving for a better understanding about the intricacies of the 'magic box' is the driving force behind me seeking a Master's degree in the field.

During my high school, due to my aptitude for problem solving and hard work, I excelled in all my subjects. I scored an aggregate of 92% during my in 10th grade examination and 88% in my 12th. Due to my inquisitive nature, I learnt a lot about computers early on, and wrote my first C program in 9th class itself. It was a simple program for finding the sum of an arithmetic progression. This early knowledge about programming helped me score exceptional ranks of 243 and 314 in the National Cyber Olympiad consecutively.

Hence, despite the fact that both my parents are doctors, Pediatricians, I decided to pursue a bachelor's degree in Information Technology at the Indian Institute of Information Technology, which is arguably the nation's best IT College. There is a broad spectrum of courses related to computer science and top-notch faculty to go with it. Due to the academically stimulating atmosphere and the great opportunities for research that I have had here, I have developed the necessary skills and interest for research work. With the exception of my second semester, when I was diagnosed with jaundice, I have maintained an excellent CGPA.

During my sophomore year I was introduced to database systems and SQL for the first time by Prof. O.P. Vyas. I was immediately interested by the concept of maintaining logically linked data, and querying the required information from it. To gain a better idea about SQL, I developed a SQL Lexer and Parser using Lex and Yacc. This interest led me to opt for courses like Advanced Database Management and Information Retrieval. Due to my in-depth study of data mining techniques I was able to form a practical module for breast cancer detection during my summer vacations.

I took a special interest in the concept of Semantic Web. Under the guidance of Mrs. Sonali Agarwal, I developed a Medical Information System using Java. I annotated data from various hospitals having heterogeneous storage architectures in Relation Description Format (RDF)/Extensible Markup Language (XML) via common ontology, then interlinked the available data from various medical institutions and applied data mining to find meaningful results. I also wrote a research paper for Semantic Web in Medical Domain which was published in the November 2012 issue of IJAET and accepted for the WEB 2013 Conference to be held in Spain.

I was introduced to Artificial Intelligence during my junior year. I was particularly keen about exploring the optimization aspect of AI. I read a research paper about the metaheuristic swarm optimization techniques and decided to work on Particle Swarm Optimization as my 5th semester project. Due to my excellent analytical and research skills I was able to solve a NP-Hard Problem - Job Shop Scheduling by implementing PSO in Matlab. I did an in depth research about face tracking techniques and wrote a survey paper for the same which is under review for publication.

Currently I am in my final year, working with Dr. G.C. Nandi, our head of department, to implement a hybrid Active Appearance Model for face tracking. Preliminary tests have given promising results for all situations except sudden changes made by the person being tracked. I plan to make the necessary minor changes and write a research paper regarding the same.

Apart from my educational achievements, I have been an active volunteer in the support campaigns held by the Rotary Club of Surat. During the breaks between my semesters at college, I have volunteered to help out in the 'Education Awareness for the Underprivileged' drive and a Blood donation camp.

The Graduate Program at XXX University is fully suited to my interests and goals because Databases and Soft Computing are strong areas for research here and I am excited to work with the faculty particularly XXX and YYY due to the impressive array of work they have done for the Database systems.

My career vision is rooted in my passion for contributing to the computing community via research, be it educational or industrial. I believe I have the aptitude and perseverance required for research work, and the Computer Science Department at XXX University provides me an ideal platform to elevate my professional career. I therefore; look forward to joining your highly esteemed department as a graduate student.

Hi Rishi, you have a strong application. Consider the following points, though.

Substance:
1. There is some information you've added that might not be necessary/relevant. For example, the fact that your parents are doctors, or the names of all your instructors. I don't think you need to add them unless they're all household names in your field. Read every line of your essay and ask yourself what it's there for, and what you intend to convey with it. And if it's unnecessary, delete ruthlessly.

Language:
1. You might have to tweak the language a bit in some places. For example, "I wrote my first C program in 9th class itself" is not really grammatical written English, though it gets used conversationally.

2. Also, it's important not to shy away from stating what you've done, but remember to appear modest as well. Phrases like "Due to my excellent analytical and research skills" could do with a rewrite.

You can check out our SOP writing tips on our Facebook page for more; it's synapse.editing.

Best of luck,
Synapse Editing

Thanks a lot for your tips. I will make the necessary changes.
Is there anything lacking in my SOP?
Actually, I mentioned my teachers names because they are the ones I will be taking recommendations from.

It would be better to move this part to the end of the introduction.




Is that a survey?? "survey" is different from "experimental OR computational research". Pay attention to this point.


Write about the things you could learn through these experiences. Talk about your communication and team work skills, as well.

Good work
Have fun
Ahmad

Thank you for your inputs. A survey paper is basically a gist of the many research papers already published on a particular topic.
Could you tell me if there is anything left to add in my SOP?
Thanks again.

I think you wrote all essential things that you should accommodate in a SOP. But, I have a similar suggestion. As I said before, talk more about your communication and teamwork skills. Where you are talking about your extracurricular activities, you should add some sentences regarding the lessons you could learn from these experiences.