Undergraduate / 'My mother passed away, I'm more prepared for life' Washington - Saying Goodbye [3]

Thanks for noticing about the introduction. I actually began writing on the other prompt option, and it kind of transitioned into this, which fit this theme better. I took the beginning of my paragraph and made it my intro without thinking much, but now I see I should change it. Thanks!

With the revisions that kakiasatt suggested:

My mother had always been there for me. She was always so helpful and loving, and at times, I took it for granted. During my sophomore year, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was shocked. I didn't know what I would do without her. My mom was always there for me. She helped me get the education I have, and she supported me in whatever I wanted to do. I was afraid of what would happen to my family, and even though I know it wasn't the right thing to do and it wouldn't be beneficial in the end, I became distracted from my studies and my grades began slipping. My mom had surgery and went through chemotherapy, and before my junior year began, the doctors said she was cancer free. My family was so relieved and I felt like such a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Life would go back to normal, or at least I thought.

The week after Thanksgiving of my junior year, my mom's tests and screenings showed that the cancer had come back. The cancer had spread from her colon to her liver and lungs, and surgery was not an option. When my mom brought the news of her diagnosis home from the doctor, I started to realize that my mother probably wouldn't survive the cancer long-term. When they began chemo, and it wasn't working, reality set in even deeper. My mom would probably not be there to see me graduate college; see me get married; see her grandchildren. The woman I had always seen so clearly being a part of my future, wouldn't be. I knew I was losing her, and as she got sicker and sicker, it ate away at me inside. I wasn't always the kindest daughter to her, and there were so many things I wanted to fix. I knew I couldn't go back and change the things I had already done, but I could be the best daughter I could be, starting then. I made a promise to myself that I would be more caring and work harder in school and at home.

By the time I started my senior year, my mother had stopped chemotherapy and was put on hospice. My older half-siblings came to stay with us for a long time, and we began having visitors from all over. Her death grew more impending, and though I had kept my promise to myself, it was still a painful, stressful and confusing time. On November 11th, 2012, my mom passed away. I wasn't surprised; no one was. We had all been prepared and I'm actually glad that we knew it was coming. If her death had been sudden, we wouldn't have gotten to say goodbye, or I'm sorry, and we wouldn't have been able to cherish the precious last moments. Losing someone is a long and horrible process, but it's something we all go through at some time in our lives. I would be an incredibly different person without this experience, and I think I've grown more mature and learned a lot of things because of it. I guess the best way I can describe it is that you should treat people like you could lose them at any moment, because you could. I am far more willing to tell others how much I care about them and value what they do after this, but I think I've grown in other ways too. I think I've become, in general, a better person. My character, though I am still the same person, is stronger. I'm more prepared for life, and I'm ready for anything it may throw at me.

Undergraduate / 'never failed at loving me unconditionally' - UT A Someone a big impact on your life [5]

You seem to be staying on topic, but here are some grammatical things I would change:
Many people would say that family is the most important thing in a person's life, and yet people tend to take their family members for granted. I was not given a chance to appreciate, nor take for granted, the family I once had. With My parents separatingion while I was just a toddler learning to walk I learnedtaught me at a very young age that my mother would soon turn out to be the only person I would ever have to rely on. I have a vivid memory of a little girl knocking on her father's apartment for her weekend visit only to find his home empty. Though I was not aware of what thisit meant at the time, I soon came to understand that he was not coming back. The pain I felt forfrom losing my father, and the wound that it left will never go away. If it were not for my mother, I would have never grown to be the mature, understanding young woman I am now. She helped me get through the loss of my father, while still she herself triedtrying to cope with athe divorceherself . As I grew older, she told me more things ofabout my father and taught me to not be bitter regardless of the pain and anger I felt. TheMy fear of abandonment grew, and I was terrified ofthat one day, losingI would lose my mother as well. Of theThough many people that have come in and out of my life, my mother has been alongside me for all of my 17 years of of my existence. She has never failed at loving me unconditionally, and I am grateful for each and every bit of her love I receive.

Undergraduate / 'sports analytics' - UC Prompt 1 "My World" [8]

Your topic is good, but it your second paragraph, the first sentence is wrong. It should say "knowledgable" instead of "knowledge".

Undergraduate / University of Washington Short Response Culture Learning [3]

Thank you :) I'll get rid of the 'of course' and change the transitions.