Posts by dianallc

dianallc

Mar 13, 2013

Undergraduate / "you can be dumb as rocks, but if you have ambition..." Trasnfer Essay [2]

I loved this essay! mostly because its a bit similar to my story, i think the right corrections have been made by the previous user, sounds better that way.

dianallc

Mar 12, 2013

Graduate / When I found my passion for Integrated Marketing/Masters (Johns Hopkins program) [4]

"Taiwanese brands do not know how to make use of its resources in online marketing and collaboration with other companies. " I think you shouldn't generalize and make an statement like that or they might get the idea that you haven't done enough research. Maybe I would mention it in a different way...let's say how in your opinion online marketing for taiwanese brands would increase if the right usage of resources was implemented " (of course written in a better way i'm just trying to give you the idea)

and also mentioning you basically only wanna get into the program because you have no experience makes it look like you had no other choice but to chose that program, I would suggest mentioning that you are attracted to their program because you saw the course lists and what you mentioned about being interested in digital marketing.My suggestion is do not mention you chose that program because you wanted to go to marketing and this one allows you to enroll without any work experience, show a bit more interest for the institution, their program, if there's any concentrations they offered, or any other opportunities you could explore at this school that you didn't find in others.

Hope this helps , if you need anything else please let me know, sorry I cannot really help correcting grammar since I am not a native english speaker. However, I am quite good with writing.

P.S could you please like my comment? Thank you!

dianallc

Mar 12, 2013

Speeches / Speech abour myself; Need ideas! [5]

Is this for an admission to college or something? To write a speech about yourself is the easiest thing, you need to take some time to think about who you are as a person and the experiences that marked your life, or at least that's what I would do. For example, for me, my granparents were a big influence in who I am today, and also any hobbies you might have like if you are really good at something, sports, music , school, whatever makes you "you". Maybe a bit about your character and your family. If you write an speech I could give you my opinion about it, but to start, i'd talk about my background, what I do, what I love doing, whatevr that has influenced you or the way you think or why you do certain stuff.. Hope this helps a bit.

P.s. could you please like my comment? I need to delete an essay here and it won't let me until I have three likes and I'm affraid someone competing for the same scholarship might steal it .

dianallc

Mar 10, 2013

Scholarship / Piano lessons, paint, dance, and sports; SCHOLARSHIP/Supply Management Master's [2]

Hi, first of all I must mention I am not a native english speaker. I am a mexican student applying for a scholarship and have to write an essay of 500 words..the topic is "Why do you deserve this scholarship?" I am an industrial engineering applying for a Supply chain management master's programme...long story short..my gpa is 78% out of 100, which would be considerate as low, the scholarship is directed to excellence students, I tried to make my essay more about why I should be givin an opportunity with my low gpa as I believe excellence goes beyond a high gpa. I have a rich curriculum full of activities , i even have a bachelor in piano as well... I don't want to write about how my gpa is low because of the basics of engineering that have nothing to do with my major , I have excellent grades on the subjects related but I don't want to seem like I am making up excuses...and also I tried to be very careful to not sound coky in the essay. please give me your feedback, and corrections.. or any suggestions you think I should take!

...
Ever since I was little, my family has encouraged me to find a profession that impassioned me. I found that passion in Industrial Engineering and Supply Chain. Growing up, I was always attracted to learn about the value chain activities behind every product or services that was being able for me to use or purchase. My career goals were settled with the experience I gained through university and practical work; I will be a supply chain manager and have an international career. To me this goes beyond organizing systems and networks of interconnected businesses, but also about contributing to economy by reducing the barriers in global supply chaina that could increase global GDP and world trade.

For a low-middle class family like mine; go on exchange, attend one of Latin America's top university's and studying my master's degree abroad seemed like a dream. Today, I am proud to say that thanks to my efforts, perseverance and support from my family, I've achieved two of these dreams, and I am giving my best to reach the last one on the list; doing my master's degree abroad. Eventhough my passion for supply chain management and dedication is well reflected on my performance on the subjects related, I am aware that my GPA may not be the highest among all applicants. However, I am confident to say I am among your most promising applicants for this scholarship.

I believe I deserve this scholarship because I am a determined, eager to learn and possibly the only candidate with the unique blend of skills and tools I've acquired through the years, that will ensure my success in the masters program above mentioned. I've been a very active person since an early age and tried diverse activities that have certainly made an impact in the person I am today and who I will become.

Through piano lessons, paint, dance, and sports; I've learned about discipline, to push myself harder, to never give up, to never leave stuff unfinished, and to know there is always room for improvement. By studying engineering I've learned to turn adversity into opportunity and about exploring different approaches to obtain results. By learning four different languages ; French, English, German and currently Dutch, I've become a more culturally aware person, who recognizes the importance of the activities that will differentiate me in the future from others that may come from similar backgrounds. By organizing events, participating in entrepreneurship and innovation competitions, doing communitary service, and participating in student and leadership associations; I've become an effective leader who commits to the responsabilities I have towards society of not only leaving a better world for future generations, but to be a valuable citizens to our world.

I deserve this scholarship because I possess all the qualities a scholarship leader should have, the strenghts , motivation, perseverance, conscientiousness and a true passion for knowledge. I would be thankful at the opportunity to flourish in a very competitive and internationally-appealing university such as ___________