Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Sabahat
Joined: Dec 24, 2012
Last Post: Dec 31, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  

Displayed posts: 9
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Sabahat   
Dec 31, 2012
Book Reports / The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Columbia supp/ Meaningful book [2]

Columbia supp: Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events.

What do you guys think? Appropriate answer? did I stray off topic or missed something?

As I read through The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, I saw life from a different perspective, from the perspective of Christopher Boone, a fifteen year old boy who suffers from mild autism and is also the narrator. I started admiring Christopher for his honesty, determination, and ability to set 'impossible' goals for himself. He wanted to pass A-levels despite his illness, solve the mystery of the death of his neighbor's dog, find his mother, write a book and attend a university. Christopher acknowledges that he is different from other people; he also acknowledges that he is at a disadvantage in certain areas but is nevertheless determined to face his biggest fears to achieve his goals. Christopher doesn't lie because he can't empathize due to his illness but his story demonstrates that being truthful makes life less complicated. The situation might get heated and you might have to suffer a little bit but in the end honesty is always better than dishonesty. Christopher's story shows us that dreams do come true if you follow them up with determination. Christopher overcame his biggest fears and achieved all his goals. Usually we look up to famous people and successful people as the people to emulate and take as role models but for me Christopher is a role model for me and all human beings. If every human being is brave enough to be as honest and determined as Christopher was then, in my opinion, half of the problems the world faces today will be over.
Sabahat   
Dec 28, 2012
Undergraduate / academic rigor and competitiveness/ best students; Columbia SUPP/ Why Columbia? [7]

This a supplement to Columbia where we have to tell what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.. I have said everything truthfully but i feel as if it sounds a bit boastful and arrogant. What do you guys think? Is it appropriate? especially first paragraph. Any suggestions on improving it are welcome and please correct any grammatical mistakes. I will definitely help back anyone who gives a meaningful response. Thank you guys.

There are several things about Columbia that I find appealing about Columbia. The most appealing has to be the academic rigor and competitiveness at this institute. Columbia is one of the best and the best of the best students attend Columbia. I believe that I have a lot of potential in me and I want to test myself against the best in the world as I believe that I have the capacity to do so. I feel that the competition at my current school is not very great and there are not many students who are really serious about their studies. I want to compete against students who can push me to my limits. I don't want to be disrespectful to my fellow students nor do I want to boast but I feel that I am capable of doing more than what I am doing right now. It is just that my mind knows that I don't need to push myself too hard to be at top right now and I am also suffering academically due to my classmates as we are not taught advanced stuff because most of my fellow students are 'lost' during lessons. When I asked my science teacher about not learning something advanced and more complex she told me that she has to keep my fellow students in mind when planning courses. Unfortunately, due to lack of means and resources I cannot learn individually and have to depend on whatever lessons we are being taught at school. Therefore,it is a great opportunity for me to test myself against the best and to know my potential. I am pretty sure I have the capabilities to succeed among the best.

All these factors greatly influenced my decision to apply to Columbia and I am hopeful that I will be able to spend some great years of my life there.

P.S. is this topic fine or should i write about the beautiful campus and location? because that's also an option
Sabahat   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / Why did i cry ? ; Significant reality/What Matters Most [5]

In the last sentence of your first paragraph you said you hoped for a miracle but in your essay i couldnt really understand for what so maybe you can elaborate on that.

Second paragraph

Sadness for the mistakes I had done and happiness for realizing them before it was too late.

You say that you made some mistakes and you felt bad. It is quite sudden because you dont mention anything such as mistakes or remorse earlier in the essay so mayb you want to talk about you "mistakes" or "moral weaknesses" earlier so that the reader can understand your feelings during the prayer, in my opinion.
Sabahat   
Dec 25, 2012
Undergraduate / Why did i cry ? ; Significant reality/What Matters Most [5]

Its a deeply moving essay and as a fellow Muslim easy to grasp the idea as well, the grammar is flawless to me. One thing though is that you should probably explain Islamic terms such as: subh prayer, Imam, Kaabah because your intended reader might not know these words. otherwise its a good piece of writing :)
Sabahat   
Dec 25, 2012
Undergraduate / "Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis"; Stanford supplement- Intellectual vitality [5]

My eyes snapped open and I sat up straighter.

I would suggest that you either move the first sentence to the last or restructure your paragraph around the first sentence for example: "My eyes snapped open and I sat up straighter. my teacher said something different..." something along those lines coz your first sentence doesn't seem to fit well with the second and third sentence. whereas it would sound much better if you ended your paragraph with: "Just as my eyes were about to close against my brain's orders, my teacher said something different. My eyes snapped open and I sat up straighter." Just my opinion.

Overall the topic is good but it would be better if you sounded a bit more interested in Biology if you are majoring along those lines.

Last paragraph I feel that you have left some questions unanswered or have not answered them completely so review that but you are on the right track.
Sabahat   
Dec 24, 2012
Undergraduate / " We are to conquer the world in pairs " ; Letter to future roommate [10]

I have tried to make my essay different and made it sound like a journey with my roommate and referred to start trek the movie . I dont know if its appropriate ad if you guys could help with grammar and stuff if you see errors. ANY HELP IS MUCH APPRECIATED.Thank you. P.s. a bit longer than the 500 world limit hoping it would not be a problem?

Dearest roommate,
I have heard that we are to conquer the world in pairs and that you will be my partner for this task so how about learning about each other and help you recognize me, make rules and devise our strategies before we board the ship?

If you see a South Asian guy wearing a back pack full of books and wearing a FC Barcelona shirt and soccer shoes, looks neat and tidy, and seems to just have taken a shower then stop right there because you have found me. The reason for the attire, as you might have guessed, is that as much as I love learning new things I can't live without sports, Sports is what fuels my body and keeps me fresh and going and at night I don't mind a few sessions on the gaming console. Enough with the introduction lets board the ship.

During this unique journey, as we take on 'Captain Nero' (Star Trek) if anything is bothering you or you need help then just come to me and we will try to sort it out together. I would love to keep our ship as clean and tidy as possible because cleanliness is the key to success for me at least as I just can't concentrate if there is mess around me. During this mission our objective, which is to conquer the world, comes first and the rest is all secondary and I would like it to be quiet when we are working on a task. Don't, even for one second, hesitate to come to me if you need help for a task as I will be bothering you a lot too. Another secret to success is health and soldiers need to be healthy to win the ordeal, so I would prefer that we always be on schedule and devise appropriate time for rest and sleep. Yes, I know I sound like Spock from 'Star Trek' and to be honest I have similar personality except that I am more friendly and forgiving.

If you ever have grudges against me or feel if I am going the wrong way then fear not to talk to me and presenting your opinion and as you might notice, when you meet me, that I am one of the most cool headed guys you are ever going to see in your life, and I will do the same if I feel that our opinions and objectives are split. One more thing, if there is ever a malfunction in your gadgets especially computer then show it to me before bringing a mechanic on board as you might save some dollars and of course give me a treat later.

Before signing off, I would like to tell you that just like you it is going to be a first time experience for me and we tend to make many mistakes and it would be great if we could help each other survive this extraordinary event and make it as memorable for each other as possible.

Your friend,
S. A. a.k.a. Spock
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