Undergraduate / My three week family trip to China; Stanford App/ intellectual vitality [3]

"Please respond to the following essay topics using at least 250 words, but not exceeding the space provided. (2000 characters)
Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

My three-week family trip to China was an eye opening adventure. As opposed to begging for stories from my parents, I was excited to finally see for myself, my home country. In the countryside, I was astonished to see my relatives without air conditioning and plumbing, still using a bucket for a toilet. Rampant everywhere, young children kneeled with hands outstretched. "This is the 21st century, how can people still be living like this?" I questioned my father. When I tried to go on the Internet to visit Facebook, it was blocked. "The Chinese government controls the flow of information with an Iron Fist" my mom had explained. During dinner with my relatives, I couldn't add anything of substance to the conversation either. My relatives would converse with me in our native tongue, but I couldn't speak the dialect because I had never thought it was imperative to learn. I had never felt so helpless, and embarrassed. That night, I vowed no matter how busy life gets, to self study my dialect.

In some shops a few days later, my sister had exclaimed: "Oh Jennifer, check out the kite, it's beautiful!"
"I know, let's buy three." The street vendor named a price, and I knew I was getting ripped off, but I couldn't bargain back because I didn't have the fluency in the Chinese dialect to do so. As trivial as it may seem, being taken advantage of over a toy, inspired me.

Two years later, I've made up for my past ignorance. All due to that illuminating one month, I'm currently subscribed to "China Today", have returned to Chinese school on weekends, and have eagerly embraced a notorious elective, "Modern China." I can't converse with anyone but my parents, but knowing I can now speak my native tongue also gives me a great deal of personal fulfillment. "

Please be very critical and harsh! I have grammar and punctuation issues so any help would be really appreciated heh
Have a great holiday!

Undergraduate / Young lady named Kelly; Stanford Common App [4]

Hello all,
I was just wondering if this was too inappropriate and not serious enough as a common app essay for Stanford? For my other schools, I have shifted things and have written more serious topics.

"Once upon a time, a young lady named Kelly and her Prince Charming took a journey to the castle Blockbuster. Truthfully, Kelly could have enjoyed any movie her beau had picked. However, that morning, she had lost a trivial argument over directions to the castle. Her master plan was getting her unsuspecting beau to watch a "chick flick." Our heroine scanned the shelves, and between Die Hard and The Matrix, she spotted Serendipity.

Kelly, befuddled by the unfamiliar word, looked inquisitively at her beau. "Serendipity is finding something while looking for something else," he explained. Kelly, fussy as always, was not satisfied with this pedestrian definition. After consulting the ever-credible Wikipedia, her dashing beau declaimed: "Finding the unexpectedly pleasant by chance or sagacity." Kelly adores the way se-ren-di-pi-ty rolls off her tongue. Although entertained by the definition, she isn't sure if she believes in lucky chances because "Causa est omnibus" or eventually "there is a reason for everything." She creates her own coincidences.

Serendipity is the art of making happy discoveries. She has serendipitously discovered, although not in her nature to give up the television remote without a fight, that she can be entertained regardless of what the channel is. Whether an airing of a college squash game or documentary on tarantulas, she is keen to be exposed to everything. She revels in having learned the rules of squash, or knowing how long a tarantula can live without food (two years).

Whether it's dancing the waltz or doing magic card tricks, she has varied interests and enjoys the splendor of it all. In iTunes, she listens to everything from opera music to, admittedly, Justin Bieber. She has no shame in confessing to own everything by Nicholas Sparks, but has read Anna Karenina and Pride and Prejudice too. At the dinner table, although she loves Neapolitan ice cream, she only allows herself a bowl after numerous helpings of vegetables. She doesn't want to deprive herself of what gives her pleasure, but appreciates balance and avoids overindulgences. That is her firm attitude towards life.

Returning to our story, after having watched Serendipity, our protagonists insisted upon visiting the famous cafĂŠ of the same name. With a reservation, they patiently (or not) waited over half an hour to fall in love with this ice cream parlor on steroids. From the portrait of a naked man in lady underwear, to the five-foot radius clock on the wall, the dĂŠcor made Kelly feel like Alice when she walked through the looking glass. As the waiter handed them the menu, he memorably said: "At Serendipity, we firmly believe that it is fun to be frivolous." Kelly could not agree more. Life is too short to not do what one's heart desires, so they modestly indulged in a night of enough chocolate to satisfy a lifetime. The end.

Our female protagonist is currently on her greatest adventure yet: the college admissions process. Be sure to read the sequel to see if Kelly hopefully gets her happy ending. "

Any feedback at all would be incredibly helpful.
I wish you all a wonderful holiday.
Cheers.