Undergraduate / We grabbed Trophy; MSU/ Richness of Campus Life [4]

It's good, but a little "rambly" if that's even a word. I would say stick to one particular experience and elaborate on it-talk about how it touches multiple aspects of your life. Best of luck!

Undergraduate / My qualities; UIUC App/ Something more [3]

I think it's a really good essay considering you have a low max. word limit. In many ways you're sharing something about yourself that's unique to you. I'm not the world's best on grammar, but it looks pretty good.