Undergraduate / "We don't inherit the Earth from our Ancestors we borrow it from our children"; motivation [2]

"We don't inherit the Earth from our Ancestors; we borrow it from our children." Do you know what I see? I see red lights all around us, red lights signaling a warning, a warning about the floundered future we are approaching. There are terrible things heading our way if we don't take action uponagainst pollution, habitat destruction, water shortages, and many moreother environmental issues.

Architecture creates a place where educators can shape future generations, where innovators can continue their exploration toward an unpredictable future, where businesses can continue contributing to our economy, and where citizens can go through their daily routine in the best productive space. In other words, Architecture creates a whole new world with endless creative and functional possibilities, and I want to maketurn those possibilities into reality while preserving the natural conditions of our planet.

Participating in the Safe City Art Contest in third grade cultivated my passion for art and a greener future. I grew infatuated with 1 Bligh and finally decided to become a Sustainable Architect. As I began to dig for more information about this building, I thought to myself, now this is the kind of place I would love to work in everyday. This building's astonishing view gives pleasure to themy(i think you should use "my" here just to make it sound more personal?) eyes, its green features benefits the earth, but its open environment produces a whole new level of innovation in the workplace. With the help of the web I discovered a whole new world of ecological technology and ideas. I realized I wanted the people inhabiting the space I design to feel completely comfortable while finding architectural solutions that guarantee the coexistence of inorganic elements, living organisms, and humans. I will design structures with features like a basement sewage system that recycles at least 90% of the structures waste water, and an innovative tri-generation system that uses solar energy to generate cooling, heating, and electricity. When I start my career, after obtaining my Master's Degree, I want to begin as an Architect supervised by licensed Architects to understand the quality of my designs and what I need to improve on. Then I will obtain my Architect license and after ten years I will become a Senior Architect. I will design buildings while preserving the flora and fauna, and remodel buildings that cause harm to the environment. My ultimate goal is moving my way up to a Project Manager or Department Head.

Architecture became my life, so I enrolled in an Advanced Architecture class to prepare for my future career. My class participated in the National Association of Women in Construction (NAWIC) Competition, which provides a scenario, setbacks, and a deadline. Being involved in the NAWIC Competition was a decision that I will never regret because I met marvelous people that share the same interest as me and gave me irreplaceable knowledge and experiences gifting me with a privileged peek at my future. Due to my class and the NAWIC Competition, I now think completely differently; I think of how each space can be used and what is the best way to use it regarding its inhabitants. I think of more possibilities and arrangements within a structure. I now have hands-on experience as well as computer experience. Another person that I owe my decision to becoming an Architect is my cousin because she is now an Architect and she always shares her experiences and love for architecture with me.

Thanks to the surroundings and people that encouraged and motivated my passion for sustainable architecture, I want to get rid of allour world of those red lights because our existence is at risk, and I believe we can make it happen.

I think all the detail you gave about your future plans really show your passion for architecture :)
Please take a look at my essays as well :)

Undergraduate / "Jack Worthing's"; Columbia Sup; Meaningful book/ publication/ cultural event [3]

As I read the last lines of the play, I couldn'tcould notcontendcontain my excitement as I revealed Jack Worthing's, Oscar Wilde's, very famous line which went like this infamous line: "I've now realized for the first time in my life the vital importance of being earnest". This very line made me reflect the importance of being genuinely true to yourself. I have never understood how some people, in order to "fit in", pretend to be something they are not just for the enjoyment they bring to others. Both Jack and Algernon pretended to be Earnest to win their beloved's heart, leading them to live a double life which they can'tcould not uphold andE ven though this conflict is resolved at the end of the play wh ere everyone lived happily ever after, in real life we can'tcannotdepend that everything will turn out as perfect as we want it to beexpect everything to turn out the way we want it to . Wilde's mockery of the Victorian era in his play did not only produced in me the comic effect intended, but also produced a unique appreciation of who I am and who I want to be.

You should avoid contractions because they tend to sound informal.
Please take a look at my essay too :)

Undergraduate / I was rarely exposed to business. ; Common App / DECA [6]

Thank you for your reply, I replied to your extracurricular response too :)

I'm still a little concerned with how I should end mine, it sounds really abrupt with the current ending.

Undergraduate / Teen Court; Common App Extracurricular [13]

I think koliva223 basically covered it all with this one haha, just a couple things

In this program, a jury composed of teenagers sentences first-time offenders of misdemeanors.

By listening in on the hearings and contributing to the sentencing process, I developed a real appreciation for my civic duty, (just need to remove the comma as well here) as I served as a jury member.

Undergraduate / Outside learning opportunities/ McCormick School; Northwestern Sup/ Uniquness? [2]

Northwestern stands out as a school I would like to attend because of the outside learning opportunities it offers, and its engineering program is one of the best in the nation. I believe that Northwestern will prepare me like few other schools can, in an environment that suits me. The campus is one the most beautiful that I have seen, Northwestern embraces its relationship with and proximity to Chicago and, with a little over eight thousand students, I believe that Northwestern is the perfect size school for me.

these sentences are run-on, perhaps consider:
Northwestern stands out to me as a school because of the outside learning opportunities it offers. (it's a little unclear as to what you mean by "outside" learning opportunities) With its exceptional engineering program, Northwestern will prepare me like few other schools can, in an environment that suits me. Northwestern's campus encompasses the urban livelihood of Chicago and a midsize student body which align with my idea of an ideal setting for my post-secondary learning experience. (I wasn't too sure what you meant by Northwestern embracing its relationship with Chicago)

Northwestern and the McCormick School specifically are a perfect match for me. Northwestern's "Engineering First" approach to teaching aspiring engineers is something I would very much enjoy. Getting a broader understanding of the fundamentals of engineering allows someone like me, who is split on whether to go into chemical or mechanical engineering, to give the decision more time and get a better feel for each discipline. I am looking forward to the hands-on engineering experience, the small classes, and the opportunity to work to solve the world's problems. Helping people is very important to me. I strongly believe that one of the best methods of helping the world is to create new ways to solve global problems. McCormick emphasizes this philosophy to all of its students, and I want to be part of that commitment.

Looking over the course work that Engineering First requires, I feel confident that I am more than prepared to take full advantage of the program, as I realized that for most of my first year at Northwestern, I would be working with MATLAB. In my On-Line Engineering, we just finished a semester working with and familiarizing ourselves with MATLAB, and my familiarity with MATLAB would bevery advantageous as it would allow me to focus more energy on the harder concepts of engineering, rather than the format of writing or executing a script. My engineering class has also helped me confirm that engineering is the field I want to go into and gave me experience that will be valuable latterlater on. Because of my engineering class, the transition into Engineering First will be much smoother and I will go in ready to succeed. Engineering First will also help me solidify my decision on the specific direction I want to take my engineering education. McCormick's goal of solving worldly problems is something I greatly look forward to being a part of and will only be the start of my attempts to improve the world.

It seems that the only aspects of Northwestern that attracted you were their teaching philosophy and use of software, the other things mentioned such as class size and "hands-on" experience could really be applied to any university. Is there anything at Northwestern that would give you /more/ hands on experience than other schools? Like some sort of special program/internship opportunity?

Please take a look at my common app short answer too please :)