Undergraduate / PROBLEM WITH SPEAKING ENGLISH; Education interruption essay [Commonapp application] [3]

Hi there, if you're familiar with Commonapp, I'm now in the Education section and reached to the point where it asks about my education history, here's the copy-pasted instructions:

Education Interruption

If your progression through secondary school was or will be delayed or interrupted in any way, please check all that apply.
1. did not/will not graduate
2. did/will graduate early
3. did/will graduate late
4. did/will change secondary schools
5. did/will take time off
6. did/will take gap year
7. did/will receive GED

I moved to another country during secondary level and took five months off to learn English as I couldn't speak English two years ago. I guess have to put a check on number 4 and 5 right?

So here's my essay to justify my education history:

As the backbone of the family, my father has constantly found the urge to take better opportunities for his children's education regardless how many times we have moved to different cities in Indonesia. However, I only learned under Indonesian education system back then.

In June 2010, right after I finished 10th grade, my father told we were moving to a neighboring country, Malaysia. Unfortunately, I had an extremely low experience of speaking English to go to an international school. This had led me to take a five-month intensive English course to prepare myself to attend an English-speaking school.

After five months learning English, I enrolled in International School of Kuala Lumpur in the middle of the school year. I decided to repeat the sophomore year as it was thought to be necessary to prepare for college.

Total words: 136

Feel free to correct any grammar error or take out any unnecessary lines if you see any and thank you for taking your time reading this!!

Undergraduate / Experience of moving to an international school and wall climbing [COMMONAPP essay] [2]

This is originally mine, please give feedback, it'd be really appreciated.

Here's the topic offered,
Please indicate your topic by checking the appropriate button below.

- Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
- Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
- Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
- Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

- A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

- Topic of your choice.

I was standing there, looking at the colorful climbing holds sticking to the wall and already settled with my harness, carabiner, and climbing shoes. Attempting to challenge myself to climb, I chose one color out of many climbing holds to climb on, only one to lead me to my goal to tap the ceiling. My family was watching me intently to start my first climbing experience. This short period of time before I reached out the first climbing hold shares the same quality of experience to the moment right before I entered the main entrance of my school. They jolted the same impulse to every single particle of my body, to which they were fulfilled with various vibes. Curiosity, excitement, and nervousness were all mixed in me. This occurred to me caused by the fact that I came from Indonesia, a country that has over 700 languages within. Yet, English is not one. I was already familiar with diversity in my country, and I was ready to play role in enriching diversity in the community. I was a fresh innocent figure that had to start his habits over, to start expressing himself in a whole different way.

I grabbed the first hold and my adrenaline rushed as I kept going up. The most challenging part seemed to approach me. The next several holds were as if they were the several months, as I had to face a different way of learning. Appreciating time, productive daily routines and presenting, were the most crucial component of learning in this Western influenced community.

The journey continued on the climbing wall, the next hold seemed unreachable, making me decide to climb on random colors of climbing holds to ma ke easy moves. Similar situation at school occurred, I had myself adapt with the school and focused only on enhancing my English. However, new people kept showing up to support me. I've never had such absolute support. Both in the middle of my climbing journey and academic life, there wasn't only my family watching, there were more, watching my process of improvement, waiting to witness my accomplishment.

This motivated me; I went back to climb on one color, I joined the softball team, a cultural club and a Chinese drum group. I felt there was a personal satisfaction by being involved in many activities. But I wanted more; I joined the One Acts drama festival, one of the most thrilling activities where I had to act under the spotlight in front of the audience, but I kept being confident and challenged myself. Meanwhile, other drum members elected me to be the group's coach. Thus, I became the Drum Ambassador and have been organizing various performances and activities.

Right now, I can visualize my life's challenges as steps on the climbing wall. I'm just several holds away from my goal, my family, friends and teachers are still watching my process to accomplish my goal and I'm still ready, to enrich diversity in a further stage of life.

Total: 500 words