Undergraduate / Mully's Children's Family,Kenyan ophanage;Western Ivey League(Engineering)-Uniqueness [2]

PROMPT: The ideal Ivey HBA student has a wide range of interests, perspectives, and life experiences. Describe the uniqueness you have brought as a student to your high school based on your own interests, perspectives, and life experiences. Please be concise and respond using 250 words or less in your answer.

It is way to hot in here. I look beside me at an open notebook as I am squeezed between two students on a three feet bench. Their penmanship is impeccable. There are flies buzzing around me as they fly in through the broken windows. As the teacher teaches, the students listen intently and they all raise their hands for every question. Wow, now this is what a classroom in a remote area of Queenstown, South Africa is like. In 2009, I had the opportunity with a select few of my peers to venture to Queenstown on a community service mission. Since then, I have never taken my education for granted as my grades will show. I told everyone the stories and hardships of some of the students there, in hope that it will affect them too. However, it is obvious that being there and hearing are two different things. I desperately, wanted to give back and in 2010 I saw my chance. I was awarded with the opportunity to go to Kenya and help out in an orphanage, the Mully's Children's Family. I took this opportunity to fundraise. I gave a presentation to my school and started a raffle draw to fund-raise for the orphanage and succeeded in raising four hundred dollars. It was an amazing experience and the smile on the face of Charles Mully in his tilley hat, as he thanked us for our help, is an image painted into my memories.

Thank You

Undergraduate / Learning something new; Queens Admissions/ GOALS [4]

This is my 300 word essay to the question :
In an essay of 300 words or fewer (approximately 1950 characters with spaces), write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond. Your answer will be evaluated for content and writing style.

I am worried that it doesn't flow well, or it's not serious enough. Please help me on my content and grammar. Thanks.

Even though I have a wide set of skills such as lying down on a bed to dream and putting food into my mouth, I would like to learn something new. It could be anything from breakdancing to the ridiculous 1984 olympic sport, solo synchronized swimming, which probably got cut due to the raucous laughter form the crowd as they watched someone dance alone in a pool for two minutes. Learning a skill like breakdancing, will allow me to step outside of my comfort zone and help me discover more of what I could do with the right attitude. Breakdancing is a community activity and hopefully will help me with my second goal, which is to make new friends. Friends can teach you many things and they will always be there for you. We would be in touch, helping each other out in jobs, relationships and events in ones life. Maybe making new friends will allow me to dance in a pool with them instead of by myself. Going to parties with friends and having study groups are all part of ones university experience. When you are having fun, one day could feel like one minute. Therefore, one of my goals would be to write a daily blog about my time at Queens. Don't worry, my blogs won't be about when I had to go to the washroom and what the successful experience in the washroom was like. A daily blog would help with letting my thoughts and what I have experienced at the end of everyday. It would be a collection of the greatest stories and events of what Queens' University created for me.