Undergraduate / Cultural diversity / Volunteering Opportunities; Unique qualities of Emory? [6]

Hi there, please can you review my essay and tell me what you think (be honest). Looking at others examples my essay seems quite factual in comparison? The deadline is tomorrow. Any comments would be much appreciated! For the record I live on a tiny island of the north coast of Scotland (as mentioned briefly in the essay).

Unlike any other institution, Emory College perfectly accommodates my specific interrelated ambitions; offering unparalleled facilities in anthropology (my intended field of study), a vast range of international study programs and tremendous volunteering opportunities. At Emory, I intend to enthusiastically impel my established interests whilst discovering new unknown curiosities.

The deep roots of my interest in the science of humanity are embedded within my unique local heritage; my home (the Orkney Isles, Scotland) is the richest Neolithic location in Northern Europe. Emory's Department of Anthropology would provide a platform to nurture my keen interest in human and cultural origins. My enthusiasm for anthropology coincides with my passion for travel and adventure. The extensive array of global study opportunities, available to Emory students through CIPA, would allow me to achieve my affiliated goals of cultural discovery and international travel.

In association with the British Red Cross and Voluntary Action Orkney, I have been heavily involved in volunteering for many years. I am extremely intrigued by Emory's engaged learning courses (specifically in sociology and anthropology) which teach the theoretical foundations required to work successfully in community service, whilst centrally concerning my specific academic interests.

By assisting class teachers and providing peer support for other students in a voluntary program at Stromness Academy, I have found that helping others learn is very rewarding. Emory's service learning program SHINE would allow me to receive a similar sense of achievement by helping refugees and immigrants improve themselves.

Coming from a remarkably unique background, I firmly believe that I would harmonize along with the diverse student body -honored to contribute to Emory's global identity.

Undergraduate / Ultima Thule ; Common App Essay - Significant Experience [2]

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Ultima Thule

115 foot high, rewarded, above the ocean, above the land, I stood fearless, gazing down from the
top of a ship's mast upon my homeland -the Orkney Isles; a constellation of islands dwarfed by the
North Atlantic Ocean, a microcosm of the world. Immersed in triumph, I was weightless, overjoyed.
At that moment the desire for such a feeling established itself as part of me.

I recall fear's heavy embrace as I anxiously made the assent. The rope ladder trembled in my frozen
hands, my knuckles frosted white. Danger grew taller with every step. I was utterly terrified. As my
nerve shattered the plummet to the unforgiving deck below became increasingly probable. My
emotionless face like a barrier, a fortress of thoughts infected with fear. However, as if numb to such
dismay, a passion to overcome this burden suddenly became prominent. I admirably glanced up
towards the summit and visualized myself standing there, at the very top, above all. This revitalizing
mental image sparked a burning determination; I kept climbing until I stood there, victorious,
weightless, above the ocean, above the land, dwelling in my success. Acrophobia lay defeated, 115
foot down on the deck below.

Ever since the day I overcame my fear of heights, my desire for reward has intensified. As I am
always seeking greater success, naturally the tasks themselves which grant such reward have
become larger. Utilizing prize as my source of motivation, I use creative visualization to propel
myself higher.

I believe I am currently facing the greatest task available to me -applying to dauntingly competitive
higher education facilities on the other side of the world. People from my home, most of who,
understandably, have never even heard of any of the places I aspire to be next fall, ask me with utter
bewilderment,

"Why do you want to do this? Why on earth do you want to leave?"

It is by no means ludicrous to question why I would leave such a location. My home is a truly
admirable place; the soft ululating countryside merges with the sky and sea into a confluence of
nature. The Orkney Isles are an isolated collection of approximately 70 minute islands off the North
Coast of Scotland -only 20 of which are inhabited by our population of 20,000. Rich with history, the
isles transmit a sense of time's immensity. First referred to in writing by the Greek explorer Pytheas
around 225 BC, he proclaimed that he had sighted Ultima Thule -the edge of the world, a distant
place far beyond the borders of known civilization.

Coming from such a confined community, I take pride in my broad perception of the world and strive
to rise above the widespread accustomed acceptance of normality, whilst nevertheless retaining a
humble respect for my home. For me, this is the tallest mast I could find. This is the most challenging
circumstance within my current reach -ultimately bearing the greatest personal reward that I can
aspire to.

Undergraduate / Senior Curricular Support program ; UNC - What changed mind? [7]

Okay, maybe I'm cutting it a bit late. I need some help here, I've only got a 130 words and my mind has gone blank. Please give me some feedback and/or any ideas to round this mofo off. Anything would be much appreciated! Thanks

Promt: 6. Tell us about a time when you changed your mind about something that mattered to you. What led to that change?

Before I joined my school's Senior Curricular Support program I was oblivious to my responsibility as a role model. By assisting younger students, I have become aware that my actions may serve as an example for others, thus altering my self-perception. Now with a better understanding of this responsibility I present myself as a more positive person.

As a senior student at Stromness Academy I provide peer support for younger pupils in several classes each weak. By working cohesively alongside teachers, I assist class learning by interacting with the students; partaking in group activities, supporting responses to questions and explaining instructions. I joined the program to create strong bonds between younger and older student at my school. I soon discovered that I was unintentionally playing a very important role in the school's social community.