elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Bachelor's in health science/ Cancer patients; REASONS FOR TRANSFER/OBJECTIVES [USC [4]
Thank you (:
Thank you (:
elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Bachelor's in health science/ Cancer patients; REASONS FOR TRANSFER/OBJECTIVES [USC [4]
I have always heard great things about USC; it is highly known all over. Graduating from USC is what I have wanted for a very long time. I was raised in Arizona but lived in California when I was about a year old. I always knew I would return to California and I finally did. Getting into USC would be the cherry on top. I want to transfer to USC because I know this school will give me the knowledge and skills I need to be a great professional. I want to be a part of an amazing school; be amongst the alumni at USC and have the opportunity to say that I graduated from there. I am the first, in my immediate family, to have an Associate's degree; to go to an undergraduate school would be a great accomplishment. I know I have the potential to do huge things in life.
I plan on getting my Bachelor's in health science in order to get into the Master's program to become a physician assistant at USC. I enjoy helping others, especially those in need. Life is cruel at times but that is life. All one can do is be there for others, as one would want someone to do for them. Becoming a physician assistant would allow me to help other people but at a larger scale.
I would eventually love to work with young cancer patients. Cancer is a viscous disease that slowly but surely deteriorates people. I have lost family to cancer, I have family who are still fighting cancer, and I have family who has beat cancer. There are many routes I could take with being a physician assistant but working with cancer patients would be quite humbling; it would constantly remind me to cherish what I have, enjoy life, and not take things for granted.
I have always heard great things about USC; it is highly known all over. Graduating from USC is what I have wanted for a very long time. I was raised in Arizona but lived in California when I was about a year old. I always knew I would return to California and I finally did. Getting into USC would be the cherry on top. I want to transfer to USC because I know this school will give me the knowledge and skills I need to be a great professional. I want to be a part of an amazing school; be amongst the alumni at USC and have the opportunity to say that I graduated from there. I am the first, in my immediate family, to have an Associate's degree; to go to an undergraduate school would be a great accomplishment. I know I have the potential to do huge things in life.
I plan on getting my Bachelor's in health science in order to get into the Master's program to become a physician assistant at USC. I enjoy helping others, especially those in need. Life is cruel at times but that is life. All one can do is be there for others, as one would want someone to do for them. Becoming a physician assistant would allow me to help other people but at a larger scale.
I would eventually love to work with young cancer patients. Cancer is a viscous disease that slowly but surely deteriorates people. I have lost family to cancer, I have family who are still fighting cancer, and I have family who has beat cancer. There are many routes I could take with being a physician assistant but working with cancer patients would be quite humbling; it would constantly remind me to cherish what I have, enjoy life, and not take things for granted.
elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Significant Experience; Racism, Diversity, Acceptance -UofM Common App [4]
elizd04671
Correction on my own comment, sorry ... Instead, "I never thought my situation would end up the way it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly harass me, telling me that they would rip the hijaboff my off my head one day."
elizd04671
Correction on my own comment, sorry ... Instead, "I never thought my situation would end up the way it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly harass me, telling me that they would rip the hijab
elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Significant Experience; Racism, Diversity, Acceptance -UofM Common App [4]
Great word choice ... You give a lot of imagery. I like that.
"Though, six years ago, I came across an unexpected obstacle that had drastically impacted my life." Instead, go with "Until, six years ..."
"At that instant, I was overwhelmed with alienation, feeling entirely out of place." Instead, "I was instantly overwhelmed ..."
"I never thought it would it would end up like it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly warn me that one day they will just have to rip the hijab off my off my head." Instead, "I never thought my situation would end up the way it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly harass me, telling me that they would rip the hijab off my off my head one day."
"A few adults had even told me that the hijab would hold me back, prevent me from reaching my fullest potential, and that I'll miss out on so many great opportunities because of it. But the confrontation that hurt the most, was when my best friends had explained to me that I am no longer welcome to be friends with them until I stopped wearing my headscarf. I didn't know what to think, whether what I believe is right or what society thinks is right. I have always been able to get along with people so well, but this time it was different. It was a big change for me as it was for them."
Maybe ... "Even some adults would say that the hijab would hold me back, prevent me from reaching my fullest potential; that I would miss out on so many great opportunities. But the confrontation that hurt the most was when my "best friends" told me that I was no longer welcome to be friends with them until I stopped wearing my "headscarf". I was confused; I didn't know if what I believed was right or what society thought was right.
Make it a separate "paragraph" even though it is two sentences ï "I have always been able to get along with people, but this time it was different. It was a big change for me as it was for them."
I thought it was good ... Good luck!
Great word choice ... You give a lot of imagery. I like that.
"Though, six years ago, I came across an unexpected obstacle that had drastically impacted my life." Instead, go with "Until, six years ..."
"At that instant, I was overwhelmed with alienation, feeling entirely out of place." Instead, "I was instantly overwhelmed ..."
"I never thought it would it would end up like it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly warn me that one day they will just have to rip the hijab off my off my head." Instead, "I never thought my situation would end up the way it did. I was surrounded by threats; kids would constantly harass me, telling me that they would rip the hijab off my off my head one day."
"A few adults had even told me that the hijab would hold me back, prevent me from reaching my fullest potential, and that I'll miss out on so many great opportunities because of it. But the confrontation that hurt the most, was when my best friends had explained to me that I am no longer welcome to be friends with them until I stopped wearing my headscarf. I didn't know what to think, whether what I believe is right or what society thinks is right. I have always been able to get along with people so well, but this time it was different. It was a big change for me as it was for them."
Maybe ... "Even some adults would say that the hijab would hold me back, prevent me from reaching my fullest potential; that I would miss out on so many great opportunities. But the confrontation that hurt the most was when my "best friends" told me that I was no longer welcome to be friends with them until I stopped wearing my "headscarf". I was confused; I didn't know if what I believed was right or what society thought was right.
Make it a separate "paragraph" even though it is two sentences ï "I have always been able to get along with people, but this time it was different. It was a big change for me as it was for them."
I thought it was good ... Good luck!
elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Describe academic interests; 'When the people I love are happy, I am happy' [4]
Oh okay, I thought that's what you meant. Thank you! I'll make it two sentences.
Oh okay, I thought that's what you meant. Thank you! I'll make it two sentences.
elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Describe academic interests; 'When the people I love are happy, I am happy' [4]
Thank you (: What did you mean by the 5th essay?
Thank you (: What did you mean by the 5th essay?
elizd04671
Jan 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Describe academic interests; 'When the people I love are happy, I am happy' [4]
Helping others has always been a passion of mine. When the people I love are happy, I am happy. There is nothing like putting a smile on someone's face. However, there are times when there is nothing one can say or do to change an unfortunate situation, but be comforting and supporting. Majoring in health science, to then enter a Master's program to become a physician assistant, would give me the opportunity to help, not only those around me, but other people, as well. I would eventually love to work with cancer-patient children because regardless of their situation, they always have this joy about them, not even an illness could take away. I am not a mother but when I see those commercials of children with cancer, something inside of me moves; I want to be a part of helping those children, even if it were to simply put a smile on their faces. USC is a great and notably known school, which I know can give me the education I need to achieve my academic and professional dreams. No one in my immediate family has gone to an undergraduate school. Graduating, alone, would be amazing; graduating from USC would surpass all expectations. The most rewarding part of it all is that my oldest brother, who I lost in 2012, would be extremely proud of me; there is nothing that could take that feeling away. I want to finish school, not only for myself, but for my brother, as well.
Helping others has always been a passion of mine. When the people I love are happy, I am happy. There is nothing like putting a smile on someone's face. However, there are times when there is nothing one can say or do to change an unfortunate situation, but be comforting and supporting. Majoring in health science, to then enter a Master's program to become a physician assistant, would give me the opportunity to help, not only those around me, but other people, as well. I would eventually love to work with cancer-patient children because regardless of their situation, they always have this joy about them, not even an illness could take away. I am not a mother but when I see those commercials of children with cancer, something inside of me moves; I want to be a part of helping those children, even if it were to simply put a smile on their faces. USC is a great and notably known school, which I know can give me the education I need to achieve my academic and professional dreams. No one in my immediate family has gone to an undergraduate school. Graduating, alone, would be amazing; graduating from USC would surpass all expectations. The most rewarding part of it all is that my oldest brother, who I lost in 2012, would be extremely proud of me; there is nothing that could take that feeling away. I want to finish school, not only for myself, but for my brother, as well.
