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Posts by coolillboi [Suspended]
Joined: Feb 13, 2013
Last Post: Feb 14, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 4
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coolillboi   
Feb 14, 2013
Undergraduate / Transcendental opportunity to travel while studying; QUEENS U- Goals [2]

In an essay of 300 words or fewer, write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond. Your answer will be evaluated for content and writing style.

Queen's is not just a university, it is an experience. An experience that I hope to fully indulge myself into for the next four years I will be investing myself there. Queen's University offers students a dynamic array of activities and student life that only a few Canadian universities are able to offer and I wish to unsparingly take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I have always inspired to integrate my academic life with extra-curricular activities as, in my opinion, that form into a perfect fusion for a student to make most out of the learning experience. Considering the fact that Queen's University is known for being the most active university in terms of extra-curricular activities in Canada, it is not surprising that I long the institution. In fact, it is has the second most extra-curricular funding in North America, just behind Harvard University. My goals at Queen's include participating in a variety of enterprising clubs offered by the institution such as The Earth Centre as well as participating in student conferences and bands. Job opportunities on campus are idealistic which will further enhance my prospects of being part of the prestigious student government, effectively equipping me with the tools to make a real difference in the university. In addition, to this, Kingston is a beautiful, vibrant city in which I look forward to investing my volunteering skills to make a positive difference in the surrounding community.

I have always believed in the quote, "The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." by St. Augustine. It has been my utmost passion to travel and explore the world. At Queen's I will have the ultimate or transcendental opportunity to travel while I study. This experience would lead me to learn and develop myself into an individual who has not just been formed out of a book but by the world itself.

Thank you very much for reading! :)
coolillboi   
Feb 13, 2013
Undergraduate / A challenging experience and what i've learned from it; defining moments for a person [6]

Thanks so much for your help guys! :)

And celestialnese:
yeah, i've felt the same thing about this essay. I feel that it lacks substance but i'm not sure how to make my challenging experience(s) seem more harsher to the audience. What else should i include and fix to make it more communicative and meaningful?

Thanks again! :)
coolillboi   
Feb 13, 2013
Undergraduate / A challenging experience and what i've learned from it; defining moments for a person [6]

The greatest lessons in life tend to come from challenging experiences. Please tell us about a challenging experience you have faced and what you have learned from it. (in 300 words or less)

"Challenges in life can either enrich you or poison you. You are the one who decides."
â€- Steve Maraboli
I believe that challenges and changes in life are the defining moments for a person. In the past decade I have faced several ones, which now seem as a blur but at the time were the harshest I had ever experienced. I first set foot on Canadian soil on June of 2008 after spending 14 years in my homeland Pakistan. I had moved into an environment surpassingly different than the one I came from and it was my first time something so drastic had happened.

It was my mother's decision, a decision my father did not entirely approve of. Due to this reason, barriers arose between them, which only got worse over time. In addition to coping with an array of challenges and learning to accustom myself to the language, culture and customs of a strange land, I now had to confront to the rising tension in my family. In that time I had realized a few things. Despite the fact that I had no control over the changes happening in my life, I had full control over the changes happening inside of me. I could either allow myself to be completely taken over, or face the challenges and let them nourish my mind instead.

Through these ordeals, I learned that whatever tension my parents had between them should just stay between them and not affect my relation with them or myself. I learned that despite the fact that I am now living in a place completely alien to me, it is rather an adventure not a suffering, in which I could explore endless opportunities, in which I could find myself, and what I am meant to be.

Please evaluate my essay based on:

style and substance
my individual experiences
how well i communicated
spelling, grammar and syntax

Thank you very much! :)
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