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Posts by navarannan [Suspended]
Joined: Feb 28, 2013
Last Post: Mar 1, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: India

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navarannan   
Mar 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS offenders should be sent to prison, or give alternatives such as community work [2]

Writing task 2 (an essay)
Some say all offenders should be sent to prison, other argue that there are better alternatives such as community work for those who commit minor crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer

Crime rate is something which has gone up over the last few years, especially atrocities against women and children. Whether the criminals should be given severe punishment such as capital punishment or they should be given a chance for rehabilitation has sparked a heated debate. Some people argue that they should be sent to prison, while some others contend that they should be given a second chance for normal life. Both the view points have advantages and disadvantages which as discussed accordingly.

Studies show that, crime against women and children are done by people with severe criminal mindset. For instance, a girl was brutally raped and murdered by a teenager in India recently. They way she was killed clearly shows that such an offence could be done by an abnormal person. Statistics also reveal that there is high chance for such a person to commit similar crimes is he or she is set free. In such cases the best way is to give capital punishment like death penalty. The person should be made to undergo a pshycological test to study his character and drastic punishments should be given accordingly. As can clearly be inferred from the given example such offenders should be put behind the bar permanently or given death punishment.

On the contrary, there are many petty crimes which are not very serious like pickpocket, which does not require severe punishment. The people who commit such crimes have a great chance of leading a normal life if they are given a smaller punishment or penalty. They can be sent to rehabilitation centres and can be given pshcological guidance like councelling where they realize their mistakes or they can be given community work. Furthermore, there is yet another case where a person commit a crime like murder for self defence. Such cases should be studied by the police ans court effectively and the person should not be given severe punishmant.

To sum up, crime is a crime but what is more important is the motive behind the crime. For serious criminal offence like rape, the culprit should be given severe punishment but for petty crimes a small punishment and a chance for rehabilitation like community work is appropriate. Depending on the nature of the crime I feel that the appropriate punishment should be given, as discussed.

Kindly give feedbacks
navarannan   
Mar 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Many people think that international travel will decrease in the future. [6]

I have one more question regarding the type of essay.
There are 3 possible types of essays.

for an argument - you need to explain both sides and agree with one of them
for an opinion - you need to present another point of view and say which one you agree with and why
for a problem - you need to explain it, discuss and offer a solution and discuss it too.

Which type of essay is this one? I feel its asking for an opinion if you see the second part of the question(Do you think this will be a positive development?). But the first part make me think its an argument(Many people think that international travel will decrease in the future).

Im confused!!
navarannan   
Mar 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Many people think that international travel will decrease in the future. [6]

The topic required to talk about " decrease", however, you are talking about " increase".

Hi Callie

The topic is a bit confusing. Here is the full question. I took the stand that international travel will decrease and made supporting points.

Question
Writing Task 2 (an essay)

Many people think that international travel will decrease in the future. Do you think this will be a positive or a negative development?

Hi

Pahan. The topic is a bit confusing. This was the question I got in IELTS I took 2 weeks before. To my shock I got only 6.5(The content I actually wrote was more than what I posted here).

Did I misunderstand the question?
navarannan   
Feb 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Many people think that international travel will decrease in the future. [6]

Question

Many people think that international travel will decrease in the future. Do you think this will be a positive development?
Give examples from your experience.


Answer

In today's modernized world, travel is something which each and everyone of us make. The amount of travel has been increasing over the last few years and the trend will continue. According to my opinion, this increase in travel is good for the individual and for the country.

Firstly, with the increasing impact of globalization international travel between countries has gone up. Companies set up business in different countries and this results in transportation of goods and services across countries. This will help in cultural exchange between countries. People travelling to different countries will learn new language, culture and tradition.

Secondly, tourism is one of the major source of income for any country. Many countries nowadays have policies which support tourism which result in the increase of international travel. This will improve the economy of the host country and improve associated business.

Thirdly, Information Technology is the most growing job market in the 21st century. Many countries outsource their business to different countries where it can be done at a cheaper rate. This will require support at the client site which results in increase of travel of software professionals to foreign countries. As part of my job, I had travelled to China. I was able to learn their culture, language and cutting edge technology.

To conclude, travel is inevitable in today's technology advanced world. Globalization, tourism, IT etc demand lot of international travel between countries. This is good for the country socially, politically and culturally.
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