Posts by KaJa4

KaJa4

Mar 5, 2013

Writing Feedback / "My emotions that I remember on a day in your life"; ARTICLE [7]

line 1: Every thing----->Everything

line 8: neeed------------>need

line 1: of its own.. though did work out in manner i would have-----> of it's own. Though it did work out in manners I would have

line 3: worked to observe those losses... those losses who stole my lift.. my smile..!!
make sure not to put multiple periods and capitalize your i's to I, you prob. already knew that though :)

Around the end I would probably replace the dots with just a comma.

KaJa4

Mar 5, 2013

Graduate / "Success is simple"; Motivation Letter-Strategic Management(MASTERS) [5]

here are some correction I see but are not sure about...sorry I new on this site and am not sure how to help

as well as the affordable housing situation here
as well as the affordable housing situation there line 6

Spelling: programme----->program line 2
organising------->organizing line 11

circumstances which make mentioned above programme so appealing to me.
circumstances which make the program mentioned above so appealing to me.

KaJa4

Mar 5, 2013

Scholarship / Independant and Driven!;Why am I a good candidate for this scholarship? [4]

Why am I a good candidate for this scholarship? I think that i am a great candidate for this scholarship because through out my life I have learned to be very careful on obtaining my needs and wants. My parent's philosophy has always been to be able to finance our own wants the best we could while they supply the life support such as food, home and clothing. I believe they did this to show and teach me indivual responsibilty in order to be a productive citizen. With that in mind I plan on funding my own education to the best of my ability. I have had a good foundation starting in highschool with a _______GPA . throughout my years in highschool i have been consistent on my acedemics. And I have engaged in sports for four years, this has taught me to exercise my self discipline which I feel is an asset and key to achieving greater things. Recieving this Scholarship will help me further my education in the career as an Athletic Director. I feel that I am very worthy for this Scholarship because of the drive that I have compared to other students, I like to challenge myself in school. Students in my grade level would be choosing to take an art class when they could be learning something new in a chemistry class that will be important for college. Or students will transfer out of spanish class just becuase its difficult and they dont want to risk getting a low grade, all the while I think those classes are hard too but I chose to challenge myself and take the risk of not transfering out of those classes and guess what I still did better than average. I like to challenge myself becuase it would be boring if everything was soo easy and you won't learn as much and be prepared for college.

KaJa4
Im sorry that this is very sloppy and I think that I will still add some more to this can you guys please help me shape this up?

The scholarship asks : Why do you deserve this scholarship?