davesh82
Apr 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / Focusing on sports facilities is a very narrow approach and would not achieve the desired results. [3]
Hi there
I agree this essay is well structured but i found some common mistake in your essay missing 'Connective word' .
Other issue i have found is you are repeating word For example ''There is '' and ''My''.
It is recommended to avoid using me ,my , you , your...
My essay will look at the pros and the cons of both options and present my personal recommendation
You can write .... This essay will look at the pros and cons of both options and present my personal recommendation...
There is no doubt that
You can write .. It is no doubt that...or It is obvious that
To begin with, There is a strong argument i
However, better ways
By way of conclusion, ...==> . From the above evidence it can be concluded..
Regards
Devesh
Hi there
I agree this essay is well structured but i found some common mistake in your essay missing 'Connective word' .
Other issue i have found is you are repeating word For example ''There is '' and ''My''.
It is recommended to avoid using me ,my , you , your...
My essay will look at the pros and the cons of both options and present my personal recommendation
You can write .... This essay will look at the pros and cons of both options and present my personal recommendation...
There is no doubt that
You can write .. It is no doubt that...or It is obvious that
To begin with, There is a strong argument i
However, better ways
By way of conclusion, ...==> . From the above evidence it can be concluded..
Regards
Devesh