Writing Feedback / IELTS. Can men and women perform the same jobs? [6]

Nowadays, men and women successfully cooperate in developing their society. In fact, the mosern society has surpassed the myth that each gender can be influntial only in certain tasks. Howevere, dispite the fact that the world has witnessed a number of successful men and women in almost every field, some still believe that there are specific jobs for each gender. Wether this is true or false is a matter of controversy. Therefore, this essay will examine different views relating to the topic.

Many people think that gender differences are very important in the field. They believe that the physical nature of women enables them to work in specific jobs where on physical pwoer is required such as nursing, teaching, or working in maintaining social relations in organizations. This can be supported by some researches that found that women can be better than men in communication and using the language. On the other hand, it is unlikely to find women working on operating heavy machines, building houses or farming. In addition, in some third world countries, people may not accept the fact that famels are able to perform males' jobs and vise versa. For instance, men , working as nurses , may expose to inappropriate comments.

On the other hand, others argue that both male and female can perform well in any job. With the new advanced technology, work has become much easier; hence women are not restricter by the the idea that they are weak and not as qualified as men. Similarily, men also prove to be successful in what was believed to be famales' jobs as desining or cooking , chief Ramsy is a great example of that.

In conclusion, from my perspective, women and men are equal and capable of specializing in any field depending on their own interest.

I really need aproreciate your feedback
can you please evaluate
grammar
coherence
lexical resourses

Writing Feedback / IELTS, Education at home VS formal education - Which is better? [4]

hey everyone
I am preparing for the IELTS and I have written a number of essays but I need someone to evaluate them.

This essay is about wether formal education is better than education at house
I know it is very long to be written in the test but I need to evaluate other criteria such as structure, vocabulary range, coherence

Nowadays, education in most countries is availabe and Schools are are spread everywhere. In despite of the effort the effort that the governments make to rise the qulaification of schools, some parents prefer to have their children study at home. Wether learning at schools is better than that at home or not is a matter of controversy. Therefore, this essay is intended to offer some advantages and disadvantages of both types of education.

some people hold the view that, learning at official schools has a great posistive influence on the child scientifically, socially and even physically. scientifically, teachers at schools are more qualified than parents and they receive pedagogical courses that enable them to help the students learn according to his abilites. In addition to that, schools' curriculums are designed carefully by highly proficient specialists which make them suitable for the pupils' needs and age. Moreover, schools enable the students to engage in a social context and meet friends at the same age which help to develop their characters socially. The social role of the schools is not only limited in the class and the hall but also in the different clubs that are responsible for developing the student talents such as acting or singing. In schools, they can also learn some important values such as respect for the teacher, management of time, and other things. In a good environment school, the child wil learn the significance of cooperation work through groups' projects in which students must work together to complete a project. Furthermore, sport clubs in the schools such as football, basketball, and swimming clubs can improve the students' health. In fact, recently, schools realize the importance of these clubs in helping the aggressive students to express their anger or energy in a better way.

On the other hand, some people believe that schools could also have a negative effect on the child. they argue that sometimes teachers may not be skilled enough to deal with young students and this may cause the child to hate learning and lateron drop the school. This may even have more dangerous subsequences. They claim that teachers are important reasons behind some students' lack of confidense and shyness and in some case violence if the teacher used to hit the children or use a severe punishment. Besides, the school's environment may not be positive always. Some students suffer from bullying of others and as a result going to school becomes very difficult for weaks pupils. Therefore, some parents may decide to avoid the risk of bad teachers or schools and teach their children at home in a safe environment. However, even though learning at home has advantages such as the parents' knowledge of the character of the child and the comfort at home, this approach will reduce the development of the child socially that the schools offer. Moreover, in some cases, the parents may not have the ability to teach effictively and this affects the child's knowledge.

As a conclusion, from my perspective, both types have both good and bad sides. Therefore, the dicision if the child should go to a school or study at home needs a delibrate thinking, taking into accounts a lot of factors such as the level of the school, the child's needs and the parents' ability to teach. After all, the main goal should be providing the child with the best education for a better future.