Posts by Shumaila86

Shumaila86

Jul 20, 2013

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: RURAL DEPOPULATION: Discuss the effects and suggest some ways [2]

In this essay, I intend to discuss some consequences it causes and some solutions can be reversed this trend.

rephrase this sentence. Always avoid' Over-Generalization' in any essay. e.g; I will discuss consequences of depopulation and some solutions to reduce the impacts of this trend.

indisputable fact

undeniable fact

affect in many sphere of life in the city

affect many aspects of city life . ( because I do not think it would be appropriate to say 'many spheres of life').

seriousness effects

?????? serious effects

Very good concepts and solutions, no doubt. only, You need to groom some writing skills.
1. proper Grammar usage, especially, uses of Comma, Definite and Indefinite articles, and punctuation.
2. vocabulary: avoid repetition of words; try variety of sentences.
Rest is fine. Good Luck

Shumaila86

Jul 30, 2013

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASk 2-Many species of animals and plants are in danger of being extinct. What [6]

This is a common term nowadays and most people are aware of it but simply choose to ignore

no use of this sentence. better give an example to explain its effects.

A second reason being hunting down of endangered species for their skin or body parts

where is 'Helping Verb'? A second reason is to hunt down the endangered species for their precious parts.

This clearly shows how the animal kingdom is being affected by the killing of animals.

rather conclude ur point like' this merciless killing further decreases their species

There are several things that can be done to prevent this from happening.

again no use. start like this: To take preventive measurements, first of all, ...
ur concepts r really good just need a little bit more practice and do grammar as well.
Good Luck

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