kayo1996
Aug 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Tourists should follow local customs or host should welcome differences [4]
Thank you sukhjit! I'll pay more attention to that ^^
Thank you sukhjit! I'll pay more attention to that ^^
kayo1996
Aug 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Tourists should follow local customs or host should welcome differences [4]
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer:
As the world becomes more affluent, many people enjoy travelling transnationally to domestically. This trend has sparked off a controversy over how people should behave when going to another country. Some believe that tourists should behave like the local people, while others argue that the host country should accept the differences.
There are two reasons for travellers to follow the local traditions and customs. First of all, people travel not only to relax but also to learn new things, so they need to involve themselves in the local daily life. By trying local clothes, eating local food, greeting others as the local people do, they can understand the lifestyles people there lead, the viewpoints they hold and the traditions they have passed on many generations in depth. It is also undoubtedly beneficial for those who want to learn new foreign languages. In addition, following local customs is a great way to show respect to the destinations they go to. As a saying goes, 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do', it has always been a social rule when people travel to a new place.
On the other hand, other people argue that cultural differences should be accepted and welcomed for some reasons. Firstly, it is obviously impossible for anyone to change his or her lifestyle in a short time. Adaptation to a new culture takes a quite long time, says, about 1 year. Yet, visitors only go to a foreign country when they have a vacation or holiday, usually less than 1 month. Moreover, welcoming other cultures is a good chance for people in host country to learn more about the world, which, in turn, may promote international understanding.
In conclusion, I think that when visiting another country, people should try to follow the local cultures and traditions to have a more enjoyable trip.
(305 words)
Please help me correct this essay! Thank all of you!
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer:
As the world becomes more affluent, many people enjoy travelling transnationally to domestically. This trend has sparked off a controversy over how people should behave when going to another country. Some believe that tourists should behave like the local people, while others argue that the host country should accept the differences.
There are two reasons for travellers to follow the local traditions and customs. First of all, people travel not only to relax but also to learn new things, so they need to involve themselves in the local daily life. By trying local clothes, eating local food, greeting others as the local people do, they can understand the lifestyles people there lead, the viewpoints they hold and the traditions they have passed on many generations in depth. It is also undoubtedly beneficial for those who want to learn new foreign languages. In addition, following local customs is a great way to show respect to the destinations they go to. As a saying goes, 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do', it has always been a social rule when people travel to a new place.
On the other hand, other people argue that cultural differences should be accepted and welcomed for some reasons. Firstly, it is obviously impossible for anyone to change his or her lifestyle in a short time. Adaptation to a new culture takes a quite long time, says, about 1 year. Yet, visitors only go to a foreign country when they have a vacation or holiday, usually less than 1 month. Moreover, welcoming other cultures is a good chance for people in host country to learn more about the world, which, in turn, may promote international understanding.
In conclusion, I think that when visiting another country, people should try to follow the local cultures and traditions to have a more enjoyable trip.
(305 words)
Please help me correct this essay! Thank all of you!
kayo1996
Aug 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / Firstly by participating in community service , one becomes more responsible and independent. [8]
I think you should replace the second 'people' by 'employers'. I'm quite confused when I read to there
The main subject in this sentence is 'person', but you use 'their' in 'their social skills'.
Well, your ideas are quite good but you need to pay a little more attention to the grammar!
And this will pave the way for a brighter future for people as responsibility is a main characteristic that people look in for during job interviews and all.
I think you should replace the second 'people' by 'employers'. I'm quite confused when I read to there
Due to this, the person involved in community services will have a great improvement on their social skills and will learn to better interact with others in society (how to interact with others in the society better and they might find some hidden potential within them like leadership qualities
The main subject in this sentence is 'person', but you use 'their' in 'their social skills'.
Such qualities and traits are highly in demand in the current job market, which will make sure that the young generation have bright future.
Well, your ideas are quite good but you need to pay a little more attention to the grammar!
kayo1996
Aug 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'No clear illustration' - 2 IELTS What factors contribute to Happiness? [3]
" This leads to the fact that happiness is still a broadly meaningful affair that is merely distinguishable to each person."
'For example, about studying, what major you are really interested in; and about your health, which weight you would like to be'
I think that you should use 'in terms of' rather than 'about'. It is more academic so you may earn marks ^^
And actually, I'm quite impressed with your introduction and conclusion!
" This leads to the fact that happiness is still a broadly meaningful affair that is merely distinguishable to each person."
'For example, about studying, what major you are really interested in; and about your health, which weight you would like to be'
I think that you should use 'in terms of' rather than 'about'. It is more academic so you may earn marks ^^
And actually, I'm quite impressed with your introduction and conclusion!
kayo1996
Jun 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Is it fair that sportmen earn far more money than doctors and teachers? [5]
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer:
Nowadays, while some people think that successful professional athletes are deserved to earn more money than people working in other careers like doctors or teachers, others think that it is unjustified. This essay will discuss both of these views.
People think that a higher earning for successful sportmen is fair for some reasons. First of all, they must devote themselves both physically and mentally in order to achieve an excellent result. Training is undoubtedly physical demanding and injuries are also likely to occur, some of which can be fatal. In addition, athletes may feel stressed as they are the representatives of their nations. Another reason for this view is that their high earnings will not last long. As time passes, they cannot stay permanently at the peak of their career, which means that their income will decrease gradually. Moreover, as they spend lots of time practising and coaching, they may fall behind their classmates in terms of academic subjects, which, in turn, results in difficulties in finding another job after they retire.
However, other people argue that it is not fair for who in other important occupations. Firstly, these jobs provide basic needs for people and help to improve the living standard, meaning that they are more essential than sport. In fact, hardly can people have a better life without education or healthcare but they can still live normally without watching sport as it is just a way of entertaining. Furthermore, people working in these fields also need to have intellectural abilities. They have to spend almost as much time as sportmen reading books in the library, doing the assignments and carrying out reseach. Besides, they must focus physically and psychologically to get a flying colours degree and become Masters or PhDs.
In conclusion, I think that sportmen and people like doctors or teachers should have the equal earnings.
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer:
Nowadays, while some people think that successful professional athletes are deserved to earn more money than people working in other careers like doctors or teachers, others think that it is unjustified. This essay will discuss both of these views.
People think that a higher earning for successful sportmen is fair for some reasons. First of all, they must devote themselves both physically and mentally in order to achieve an excellent result. Training is undoubtedly physical demanding and injuries are also likely to occur, some of which can be fatal. In addition, athletes may feel stressed as they are the representatives of their nations. Another reason for this view is that their high earnings will not last long. As time passes, they cannot stay permanently at the peak of their career, which means that their income will decrease gradually. Moreover, as they spend lots of time practising and coaching, they may fall behind their classmates in terms of academic subjects, which, in turn, results in difficulties in finding another job after they retire.
However, other people argue that it is not fair for who in other important occupations. Firstly, these jobs provide basic needs for people and help to improve the living standard, meaning that they are more essential than sport. In fact, hardly can people have a better life without education or healthcare but they can still live normally without watching sport as it is just a way of entertaining. Furthermore, people working in these fields also need to have intellectural abilities. They have to spend almost as much time as sportmen reading books in the library, doing the assignments and carrying out reseach. Besides, they must focus physically and psychologically to get a flying colours degree and become Masters or PhDs.
In conclusion, I think that sportmen and people like doctors or teachers should have the equal earnings.
