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Posts by ninaaxtopol
Joined: Jul 12, 2013
Last Post: Jul 13, 2013
Threads: 1
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From: Bulgaria

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ninaaxtopol   
Jul 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: GOVERNMENTS SHOULD BAN CIGARETTES AND OTHER TOBACCO PRODUCTS [5]

Addiction to smoking has been a serious problem for a while now. The causes of it could lead to several death related illnesses but people still cannot fight with the starvation for tobacco products.Many ways for helping people to stop smoking have been invented in recent years: electronic cigarettes, nicotine patches, chewing gums and etc. Yet, people still find it very hard to give up and one of the main reasons is that as long as tobacco products exist there will be a market for them. Therefore, it is common opinion that they should be banned by the government as a matter of the public health.

One of the main reasons for the existence of cancer is cigarettes. They destroy people's health slowly but constantly. Tiredness, headaches, stomach problems, they are all connected with smoking. The lung in our body is one of the major parts in it. Through breathing we energizes ourselves. Destroying our lungs while smoking is a slow but steady killing of every single cell we have.

The addiction to tobacco products is not only physical but psychological. Therefore, a ban should exist because, where adults could understand the consequences of smoking, young people start without any concern of the them. Until they start realizing how important is that, they are griped by the addictions as everybody else.

The mass production of tobacco products is industry that creates jobs but same time is so crucial for the health that the contribution of it is far smaller than the negative effects of it.

Therefore the ban should exist and the whole industry should be banned as a major contributor of the most serious illnesses in our century.
ninaaxtopol   
Jul 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: GOVERNMENTS SHOULD BAN CIGARETTES AND OTHER TOBACCO PRODUCTS [5]

You shouldn't include your opinion in the introduction. Instead, try to develop the subject you are writing about, or in other words, rewrite the question in a different way.

Your body part of the essays should include both points of your opinion. Try as well to write short sentences until you reach certain confidence in writing.

The conclusion should consist your view or side of the argument.
If you follow this structure it will bring you up few points instantly.
ninaaxtopol   
Jul 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / Children's work at a early age - beneficial or a threat ? [3]

Children's labor is a hot topic nowadays. Some people truly believe that encouraging children to work at an early age will be beneficial for them through making them understand the real value of money and teaching them of discipline. On the other hand, people work through their whole life, saving for a home, or a car, their children's education and so on, and therefore an instant question is coming - should children start to work so young and isn't enough that they will be working for the rest of their life, to start even earlier?

The most important years of your life, people say, are the one when you are young. You can dream your life, everything is bright and rosy. You don't see the world in it's negative side, you have your future ahead and your dream about it.

Allowing children to start work at an early age will destroy their childhood.
Many children will be forced to work by their parent for different reasons. What is worst is that years that are meant to be spend in the park, playing with friends and developing yourself physically and mentally, you will spend working.

Furthermore, children will be hired for the least qualified jobs on the market, because they don't have any experience and qualifications.
Therefore, while understanding as well the positive part of working at an early age - discipline, understanding the value of money, support for yourself and your family, the real impact of allowing child labor at an early age will be more negative than contributional in my opinion.

Taking the dream of the rosy world from a child, forcing him/her to become an adult will not make him/her a better person.

Life has its periods and stages and you have to pass all of them, thus making mistakes and learning from them. Child labor will take this time of life when we are all supposed to prepare for what is coming.
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