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Posts by Helinkway
Joined: Jul 20, 2013
Last Post: Jul 26, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 6
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Helinkway   
Jul 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of living off-campus? [5]

When students enter university, they often have to choose a place to live. It is certainly true that living in an apartment outside campus has several obvious benefits. However, like anything else, there are some drawbacks.

The advantages of staying off-campus are undeniable. First of all, it is more convenient to live in an apartment. To clarify, students have a choice to choose their room-mates as well as how big the house is. They can select a room big enough to have a private space, to contain all staffs they want. They also can decide to live with how many people. Secondly, off-campus housing gives students more freedom. Unlike living in the dormitory, there is no strict rule when students stay in an apartment. For example, they can come back late at night, cook and eat whatever they want, listen to loud music, and so on. Another point is that living off-campus gives students a better preparation for their for their future life. To be more specific, after graduating, they have to face house renting, bills and other financial problems.

In spite of these strong points, living off-campus has its own downsides. A common criticism is that students have to commute to and from their university. This will take much of their time and money, They may have to go far to go to the library or computer rooms. Another objection is high cost of off-campus housing. They have to pay more money to their apartment, to buy funiture, to pay for security, and the like. Last but not least, the final disadvantage of living off-campus is the lack of security. Indeed, if students live on campus, they are protected by the college security guards that patrol the campus.

In conclusion, while there are some obvious drawbacks to live off-campus, this challenges students to live in an apartment. Therefore, I strongly believe that staying in off-campus housing has brought more pros than cons.
Helinkway   
Jul 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Popularity of mobile phones to young people [7]

Despite all these positive aspects, I think that the popularity of mobile phones to the young generation is a bad development.

Despite all these positive aspects, I strongly believe that the popularity of mobile phones to the young generation is a bad development.

You can use other phrases, "think" is not an academic word.

leaving them lesser time for their studies and other school activities.

Less time

Similarly, internet capable phones help influence the young ones to become more interested in chatting and social sites rather than doing school works

Internet capable have an influence on the young ....
Helinkway   
Jul 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / GRE essay.....will technology deteriorate our thinking abilities? [5]

But besides these advantages, it really has a part in deterioration of our thinking.

Despite these advantages,...

But now due to smart t.v we would become more lazy

However, nowadays, due to smart t.v, people are more likely to become more lazy.

Remember, never use "but" to start a sentence in writing.

Another thing, I think you shouldn't use "we" in writing, and I think you shouldn't use "deteriorate" and "deterioration" all time, you can replace by "become worse" or "can't not improve".

For example,

The development is quiet good and necessary but it has an effect which is deteriorating our ability of thinking.

--> The development is quiet good and necessary, but it has several effects which make people's ability of thinking cannot improve.
Helinkway   
Jul 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Should the government pay the tuition fees for students? [5]

In recent years, education is becoming an issue of great concern in many countries, because it plays an important role for the development of each country. The question of whether or not the tuition fee should be covered by the government remains controversial. Personally, I strongly believe that students should pay their own university education because of three following reasons.

The first reason for my belief is the limitation of governments' budget. To be more specific, they have to pay for many other essential aspects, such as health care, environment, national security, science, and so on. Furthermore, the government has already invested in building schools, libraries, and supported for equipment, books, and the like. Students nowadays just pay tuition fees for salary of teaching staff and for improving of learning facilities.

Secondly, paying their own education fees may lead to better studying. Indeed, almost all people are often more responsible when they have to give out something. Students will be more likely to attend classes and try hard for studying. Therefore, they will have better academic results. In addition, universities usually have scholarships for good students, hence, if they want to get money back, they have to study much more in order to get best marks to achieve the scholarship.

Finally, students tend to find a part-time job when the government does not cover tuition fees. Because some students cannot afford their education fees, they have to earn money to pay for study materials. When they do part-time jobs, they will gain more experience which helps their future career.

In conclusion, it's my opinion that the educational authority should not cover the tuition fees for students. Money that students and their family have to pay brings many benefits not only for their country's development, but also for themselves.
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