Writing Feedback / The sense of competition and the spirit of cooperation, I believe are equally essential to children. [4]

Hi,dear all,please help to correct this essay,i would appreciate if you point out all the mistakes without mercy! thanks!
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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

There is an argument that children should hold a sense of competition or obtain the ability of cooperation. The both qualities above, in my view, play equally important roles in children's grow up.

It is obvious that a positive sense of competition will encourage children to strive what they want in a proper way. The reality is cruel, at which background, chances are few while there are too many competitors fight for them. So children should learn how to compete fairly with their peers. When they win, they get confidence to challenge more. When they fail, they gather the precious experience and never give up. Competition stimulates children's motivation to prove themselves and do better. And more, they are able to face the society which is full if fierce and challenging competitions.

When it comes to cooperation, this is one kind of spirit what every child should be equipped with. There are two explanation for this. First, a person who knows how to co-operate with others is at least useful to his team. That's why in a harmony society, people are union and in a prosperous company, staffs are focus on teamwork. It is a basic standard for children to reach up. Second, learning how to co-operate with others is a good way to train children to be generous and self-control, There is no doubt that they will become useful adults with golden characters.

The sense of competition and the spirit of cooperation, I believe are equally essential to children. During their grow up , children should be guided in a right way to compete for what they want and cooperate with their partners. This is the most effective way to educate them comprehensively and meaningfully.

Total 283 words

Writing Feedback / Gender equality in University Admission [6]

Nowadays more and more people voice out the importance of gender equality when universities enroll male and female students in every subject.Whether it is necessary that the number of each gender in every subject must be same?

It is true that there are advantages of gender co-coorperation in study.Male and female students study together,which will help them to eliminate the fear and shy between them.It works on balancing the inequality between male and female,and makes more chances for female students to further study at some particular area,such as astronautics,construction,military ect.

However,we should consider that there are gender differences existing.According to the science reserch,the male and the female are good at different subject.The male shows their advantages in science subjects,while the female seem to do better in art subjects.Otherwise,it is impossible for universities fo enroll the same number of each gender in all subject,because the resouces of students are unbalanced at the first place.When it comes to language departements,it is obvious that the number of female students is more than the male students'. We should put more attention that chosing which subject depends on students' choices which are adjudged by there interests and features,instead of gender equality.

University education plays a critical role in culturing excellent people of society.It should be aroused the attention that univercities have the responsibility to score students by their perfomances and abilities,educate them according to their features and personalities,other than gender.

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