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IELTS; GAP YEAR is helpful for students to gain experience through work or travel


fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Aug 18, 2013   #1
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

It is general around the countries , students are influenced to have jobs or trips during a break year. Poor students after graduating high school engage in different types of job in search of money. On the contrary, rich students visit various places in order to broaden knowledge. I fully endorse with everything the university's plan.

There are several reasons, students are actually dependent on parents due to the financial support. When students get an opportunity to take part in job during his or her one year break, it may lead him or her into selt-support. Likewise, there are some companies or organization needs to have experienced for years. Therefore, during the break if students can engage some fields will be easier to get instant job after completing graduation. For example, the company such as garments industry and marketing often claim prior experience.

On the other hand, rich students can visit different types of places and acquire different experience which is more effective in their research fields. By contrast, students will be more able to complete tasks in favour of practical experience than others. Not only traveling broadens knowledge but helps in creativity.

To sum up, I believe that a break during the education period is very helpful for the students if they properly utilize time. It will be a store of experience in both job and research field.

words:251

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 18, 2013   #2
types of job

.... types of jobs

I fully endorse with everything the university's plan.

... this is a very poor thesis statement. This does not provide any information to the reader about your position on the argument.
I guess this is agree/ disagree essay as we have seen essays written on the same topic here. However, it is your duty to include the prompt in your essay so that we can provide you with more relevant feedbacks. Another thing, you should post all IELTS essays into Writing Feedback forum. It's a forum rule.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Aug 18, 2013   #3
There are several reasons, students are actually dependent on parents due to the financial support.

In your body paras, you need to start with your reason;
Students are dependent on their parents for financial support to carry out their further studies.

When students get an opportunity to take part in job during his or her one year break, it may lead him or her into selt-support.

Working during the gap year helps them to be independent and self sufficient.
Try to have one reason per body para. But you should provide a sound example for each reason!
me4mbd 5 / 11 5  
Aug 18, 2013   #4
fahadbd:
I fully endorse with everything the university's plan .... this is a very poor thesis statement. This does not provide any information to the reader about your position on the argument.

I am also agree with dumi. Even later on there is no explanation what do you mean by university's plan!

It will be a store of experience in both job and research field.[/quote]

Nice expression man!
king jane 2 / 5 3  
Aug 18, 2013   #5
share with you a tip,hope it will be useful to you.
I got the advice that the ielts examiner takes the summary para more seriously,so it's better to write the last paragraph longer and more splendid.


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