Writing Feedback / Child Abuse and my Future; How I learned to become a man! [7]

1) all I remembered hearing = all I remember hearing (you still remember it don't you?)
2) not knowing that = oblivious to the fact that
3) and realized that it were my hands that = when I realized that my hands had locked my father away

I'm tired so I will continue later. It's 1am in my country.
P.s Love the topic but I can't really feel the passion in it.

Graduate / My dream growing up, but not stopping there;MSN (FNP): [6]

1) and for now, he was stable. = and for that window of time, he was stable.
2) It was an emotional roller coaster day! = It was a day of emotional turbulence
3) At the end of my shift, as many trauma patients do, he took a turn for the worst. = However, at the end of my shift he took a turn for the worst -as many trauma patients do-

4) with the orders I had = I really don't know whats wrong but the use of orders there is weird to me
5) worth ethic = do you mean work ethic?
6) to take on a new = to embark on a new

7)Wow I loved the essay but I would want to know why you have that passion. What about nursing drives you??
8)Great intro.
9)I will come back and read over to see if I can spot something the second time

P.s Make me aware of anything I misunderstood and things you don't agree with me on.