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Posts by paul2752 [Suspended]
Joined: Sep 8, 2013
Last Post: Sep 30, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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paul2752   
Sep 8, 2013
Undergraduate / MY FATHER; Princeton Essay-talk about a person who has influenced you [2]

This is somewhat scattered, and contain grammar errors..and I am a QB applicant, a non-citizen speaker. Please review on content, grammar, and its personality(500 words)

Even though my father is not with me now, he still exist in my head and my heart. His humors and scary eyes, loud laugh and gut-scaring yell, and some other contradictory created a bit mixed feelings toward him, but I don't doubt he is a loving father, and best father anyone can have in the world. He was the person who completely changed my memorizing brain to thinking brain.

It's been so long time since I had one, but I and my father always had Sunday Talkie on every Sunday. He would have me sit in the living room. Mostly he taught me lots about how to be a great human with morality, wisdom, reason, and emotion. and threw a question in form of Socratic talk(he didn't call it so, but I learnt later about it). While he enjoyed lectures, I grumbled inside: who would want to cross-leg in the living room for two hours? Everything father told me sounded too esoteric that I was very discontented inside. My somewhat impatient father, too, was sometimes discontented by my stupidly simple answers to his questions.

.Finally, I had some progress.:
"What would you do if you see a beggar?"
Me: Uh...leave some money???
"What if you see him everyday? Will you still help him? Aren't you stealing his chance to be independent?"
Me: ...Ah, I can leave in halfway house.
"Why?"
ME:...I guess it's better to rehabilitate and go back to the society than to stay in the street.
I was still imperfect, but my father still was proud of my progress. Soon, I realized that he wanted to train my ability to see through the matter and its essence. Having a natural love for science, my brain directed "why' to science. At some point, knowing a simple piece of fact like 'alcohol+organic acid=water and ester' wasn't fun. After learning it's because of complex electron transfers between catalyst acid, alcohol, and organic acid, I felt satisfied. Since then, I didn't stop at learning a short piece of knowledge from book, but enjoyed why certain phenomena happen. I remember making several science teachers annoyed with too detailed questions,. Several years from then, it's been my habit to read complicated books and old encyclopedia to learn something that's not explained in the high school text book, and I felt like a gold miner who just found a nugget when I finally get an answer.

This scientific view also affected my view; whenever I see a giant banner about notorious criminal in internet or CNN, my brain starts analysis: why this person did this, and can this person be salvaged? It's been my habit to observe any interesting human or natural phenomena, and it seems that such my behavior widened my perspective, like I, who lived in Korea for 15 years, wasn't taken back by different culture of America. Such my revelation also got rid of my thousand years old bias, for example, against homosexuals I had long time before. All these have prepared me to be a 'good, unbiased' science person. I thank my father and his Sunday Talkie for my change.
paul2752   
Sep 8, 2013
Undergraduate / Depression; Questbridge/ significant experience, achievement, risk,ethical dilemma [4]

Your essay is mostly negative with somewhat vague resolution that is worded in boring way. Elaborate your resolution part without using too much sentences that start with 'I' because such sentences can end up leaving the readers wonder 'how?'

. BTW, I am sorry that you didn't have much support from your family
paul2752   
Sep 8, 2013
Undergraduate / "What would you do if you see a beggar?"l Stanford intellectual vitality essay [2]

*Please note I am a non-native speaker. It would be nice to fix the grammar without altering the major content.(also it's over than 250 words, so...)

Ask me questions if you have some regarding my essay!

A lot of people have called me 'an intellectual', but they don't call a science dictionary an intellectual. To me, the science is all about asking 'why'. More one appropriately asks "why", better one sees through the core of the matter. It has strengthened passion in learning, in my case, science. That was what I got from Sunday Talkie..

It's been so long time since I had one, but I and my father always had Sunday Talkie on every Sunday. Mostly he taught me lots about human itself, morality, and wisdom, and threw a question in form of Socratic talk(he didn't call it so, but I learnt later about it). He always tested me to see if I got what he said. One conversation I briefly remember was:

"What would you do if you see a beggar?"
Me: Uh...leave some money???
"What if you see him everyday? Will you still help him? Aren't you stealing his chance to be independent?"
Me: ...Ah, I can leave in halfway house.
"Why?"
ME:...I guess it's better to rehabilitate and go back to the society than to stay in the street.
Two hours of this activity was, with honesty, boring, but this infinite "Why-answer" routine has got stuck in my head. Having a natural love for science, my brain directed "why' to science. At some point, knowing a simple piece of fact like 'alcohol+organic acid=water and ester' wasn't fun. After learning it's because of complex electron transfers between catalyst acid, alcohol, and organic acid, I felt satisfied. Since then, I didn't stop at learning a short piece of knowledge from book, but enjoyed why certain phenomena happen. I remember making several elementary or junior high school science teachers taken back or even annoyed with too detailed questions, but I selfishly didn't care. Several years from then, it's been my habit to read complicated books and old encyclopedia to learn something that's not explained in the high school text book. Some people call me a 'genius', but I don't think what I do is a genius thing. I think it is a natural way to know 'why'.

...I see the essay is kinda scatterd. Really great advice needed to make it more smooth!(and some erasing)
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