Writing Feedback / TOEFL: 'analogous concern and money' - financial support for sports and social activities [6]

Hi! I would like to see your comments to improve my writing and any other idea to respond this questions. Thank you very much!
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are a lot of debates about the importance of sports and social activities in contrast with the main classes. It is very subjective decision for students to have or not have these facilities. Although multitudes of people think that sports and social activities are not as necessary as academic subjects in colleges, I think that these activities have the same efficient role in students' lives. In the following, I will state my reason for this choice.

First, besides the good body shape, sports have very vital effects in(on?) human's healthfulness. In my viewpoint, our body and moral health depend to physical activities directly. As a case in point, last month I had very difficult exam that I forced to study for one week back to back. After that exam, I felt depressed and exhausted. Therefore, I decided to go to gym to recuperate and it responded very well! As a result, sports are necessary for students to acquire their energy and health.

Second, besides the academic knowledge, the awareness of social behavior is an important factor for human's life. As a practical epitome, students should be prepared to present in society after their graduation. Thus social activities can help them to be familiar with other's mind and different environment. In my opinion, social groups and classes are significant factors to prepare students to contribute in discussion and encounter real social environment. So, social activities have same rights to receive monetary support.

Moreover, they bring about students to be happier and to have more fun and entertainments. If we follow just one wing of my life i.e., studying as a student, after some whiles it would be boring and we wouldn't have any motivation. Such activities can help us to pick up with other students and have more friends. In my perspective, more friends and new experience inspire the feeling of happiness and excitement in me.

All in all, I am in the conviction that sports and social activities should obtain analogous concern and money in the view of above-mentioned reasons. They bring a lot of advantages and benefits for students and also affect their future in a positive way.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: learning facts has more subsequent advantages for students' future lives [3]

Hi, I would like to receive any comments to improve this writing. Thank you in advance for your time.
Actually, I don't understand the meaning of question well. I would appreciate if someone explain it for me.
Do you agree or disagree with following statement?
It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.
There are many debates regarding whether understanding ideas and concepts is more essential than learning facts for students or not. Although multitudes of people think that knowledge of ideas and concepts is more vital for students, I am in the conviction that learning facts has more subsequent advantages for students' future lives. In the following, I will state my reasons for this choice.

First, when students learn facts more in school, they would be ready for facing problems in their own life after their graduations. As a case in point, more information about facts would make students more familiar with the real life other that only their concepts. As a result, they would prepare to encounter their life out of school to solve their problems better.

Second, it would improve students' social behavior. If students only rely on concepts and ideas theorically, they would not realize human's mind very well. They should understand objects more that concepts to obtain the ability of analyzing matters well. Thus, if they deal more with facts, they can realize social situations effectively and so improve their social communication in everyday life.

Moreover, these way students are teached to control their fears and concerns in facing facts. As a matter of fact, when a student understands a fact and its consequences, he or she can encounter it more confidently. In my viewpoint, concerns and anxieties are very destructive in everybody's life. It can prevent person to progress and thrive in every position.

All in all, I am in the belief that learning facts is more beneficial for students in both social and individual life in the view of above-mentioned reasons. Students would improve their social positions and encounter their problems in positive ways and also intend in the more confidence manner and etc.