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Posts by Sundin
Name: yating
Joined: Nov 5, 2013
Last Post: Nov 10, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  

From: China

Displayed posts: 8
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Sundin   
Nov 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: governments should pay for the public service or arts? [9]

hi Pahan,I am appreciate for your help.
I wrote again and correct the errors. how about that? :)

... here you don't introduce the other part of your introduction. Nothing is said about who should spend for art.

With the economic growth and technological development, people have transferred their attention to the living standard and healthy lifestyles, and there is a controversy over which field that authority should invest more,public services or arts? In my view,both of them cannot be ignored by states.

.... I don't get what you mean by "states are not charge" .... do you mean that government is not responsible? You need to re-write this sentence.

Those who claim that governments are not responsible of public service, and they should pay more on arts.

welcome criticism.:)
Sundin   
Nov 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: governments should pay for the public service or arts? [9]

Some people say that governments should pay for the public service, while others say it is not the government's responsibility and they should pay for the arts.

Please discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the economic growth and technological development, people have transferred their attention to the living standard and healthy lifestyles, and there is a controversy over whether it is authority's responsibility to allocate funds on public infrastructure. This essay will discuss both points of views.

Those who claim that states are not charge of public service, and they should pay more on arts. It is certainly true that arts stand for a country's culture and history, but today under enormous stress,most individuals only concentrate on works, business and studies, resulting to the lack of appreciation of arts ,humanities and national spirits. So, the government should build more art

places to raise the awareness of culture and history which is extremely educational and valuable to today society.

Nevertheless, there is no doubt that as taxpayers, who paid a large amount of tax to country, have rights to enjoy the public service that paid by governments. At present, in order to achieve the high quality life quickly in competitive global environment, the states spend too much money on economic development but ignoring the raise of living standard. If these public services can meet people's needs and help them solve problems, they may provide the maximum production to society, thereby, stimulating the modern development. What's more, most lands have been used for commercial manufacture to make profit, if governments can put emphasis on public service and build more facilities or organizations to solves these problems, the living standard can be increased in a more effective and efficient way.

To sum up, having analyzed and stated the two points above, I would say that the public service and arts are completely contradictory existence, but an interactive relationship that both bring convenience to citizens. What the government should do is know how to allocate the funds reasonably and how to make the maximum effects.
Sundin   
Nov 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay about pay tax to the state or not [3]

In conclusion,I think it is good measures that people have the responsibility to pay the taxes. And it can benefits to the development of country, and it is not only good for the economy growth but also good for the individuals.

it is good measures >it is a good measure
"and" can not used in the one sentence:
you should write :
In conclusion,I think it is good measures that people have the responsibility to pay the taxes,and it can also benefits to the development of country,so it is not only good helpful for the economy economic growth but also good for the individuals.[/quote]
Sundin   
Nov 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Some people argue that smoking should be made illegal. [5]

Negative health effects of smoking are enormous and today it has become a serious health issue as it causes untreatable diseases and death of thousands of people.

The first sentence of introduction cannot be too long, you should make it simple and clear.
such as:
Today,smoking brings enormous negative effects on health,resulting in a large amount of death.
Sundin   
Nov 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / The natural resources are being consumed at an alarming rate.What does it cause?how solve? [5]

The natural resources such as oil,forests and fresh water are are being consumed at an alarming rate.What does it cause?how can we solve these problems?

In rencent years,many countries are facing a thorny issue that economy has been developing in a striking rate,with a consequent damage on natural environment.Although serious problems have arisen as a result of this,there are solutions and the state should raise environmental awareness amongest the general piblic.

One of the main consequences of this phenomenon is the scarcity of natural resources.There is no doubt that deforestation,dissipation and coastal waters imposing a burden on ecosystem,and most countries put the economy and technology on the most significant place rather than considering the 'earth'.In order to achieve the maximum production and profit,factories and industries exploit resources excessively regardless of the disasters they may cause.Another major result is the ecological unbalance,so it can not recover its situaion timely.For example,there ae much pollutions,sewage and used water contaminated river everday,and industrial waste contain small amounts of rodiactive materials which are extremely detrimental for economical balance and our health.So,it not only attributes to resources shortage,but also causes huge catastrophes such as oil erosion,global climate change and the death of the forests in the world.

It is important that action is taken to combat these problems.Governments should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in place that will prevent the overuse of natural resources,such as special environmental protection standard and strict laws.Individuals also have a part to play,they need to introspect and supervise their activities,thereby they might know what consequences would happen and how to avoild these damage on environment.Industries and companies must also attach importance to nature;for instance,there are many techinical equipment and advanced skills can be used on economic development which not only improve the effeciency on works and can make the maxumun production,but also save materials.All in all,no matter what situations countris are exist in,we should protect our raw materials.

To conclude,I would have to say tht economy and environment are not completely contradictory,but an interactive relationship.What we should do is that maintain a balance betwee them,and any country expoilt the resources immoderately but ignore the consequence should be punished to some extent.
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