Essays / william college supplement; 'being on stage' [3]

prompt: Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.　　

this is only the part of the essay, and it is a rough draft. I am an ESL student, so really bad at English. So do you understand what am I trying to say in my essay? Do I sound like a person who has depersonalization disorder? Did I answer the prompt? I try to be creative....

On stage, I felt like as if I was watching myself through a glass window. I stood under a single spotlight, alone. My face was flushing, my body and legs were trembling, and I was breathing rapidly to calm myself down. The audience was waiting for me to deliver my speech, but I could not open my mouth. On the other side of the transparent window, I was watching but can not do anything. The window prevent my thought to cross, and to give courage to myself overcoming fears of failure. I let stage fright attacked me. All my life, I had considered myself give up too easily when I face problems

Undergraduate / 'Pushing me to attend college' - University of Rochester supplement [4]

　　The University of Rochester offers many rare advantages, building from our "Meliora" ("ever-better") motto that has inspired generations of scholars, professionals, and artists. Describe what's leading you to apply, and what kind of "Meliora" experiences you want to have here at Rochester and beyond. (250 words max)

　　When I stated my college research in September, University of Rochester had immediately caught my eyes because it has filled every expectation that I had dreamed for a college: beautiful campus, amazing faculty, and abundant student groups. Attending a college that I really loved can help to find my true passion for learning. I want to major in biology and obtain future career in dentistry. University of Rochester is a research institution, even freshman have the opportunity to engage in the research project, which increase my chance getting into the dental school after I graduated. I was impressed by Rochester's unique curriculum, letting students to build their own education. Since I am sure about my future plan. I did not have many opportunities to try new things. In the University of Rochester, the open curriculum allows me expanding my knowledge in other disciplines, such as art.

　　Meliora push me to attend a college. I want to graduate with a high college GPA. In Rochester, that is not the only thing I want to accomplish, but also make myself better fit into the community. I am so exciting about joining clubs to meet new people, getting involve in campus activities, improve my communication skills, and to become a independent young adult. If I got accept, I would make the best out of four year.

I need help with grammar, and did I answer the essay topic completely?