Undergraduate / Earning the Right; Recount an incident [2]

Prompt: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Please help me go over this and go over any mistakes I could have made. I would be much appreciated!

Earning the Right
"Every failure is a step closer to success." There have been many times in my life where I have failed, but that is the reason why I succeed. I firmly believe that failure can lead to a person's growth, because failure truly tests a person's character.

Throughout my entire life, my thoughts and interests have always revolved around sports. I played many sports before high school, including basketball, baseball, and football. I always thought that I was at least decent at these sports, because I always played and contributed. However, when I entered high school, that all changed. In my freshman year, I tried out for the basketball and the baseball team, both of which denied me entry onto their teams. I failed, and I was ashamed of myself. But, there was still one sport I was interested in trying out for, football. For an entire year, I desired to be a part of the football team. When try-outs came along, I was extremely excited. I thought that there was absolutely NO WAY that I couldn't make the team. But again I was wrong. And again I failed.

I was devastated when I found out. I had to wait again, for a whole year just to be given the opportunity to try out again. There wasn't much I could do at this point, so I decided to make the most of it. Soon after, I talked to our Head Football Coach about what could I do to make myself a better football player. Impressed with my frank attitude, he offered to help. He gave me tips on how to improve as a player, and always kept an eye out for me.

The next semester, I enrolled in the "Off-season Football" program at my school, specifically made to help football players maintain the endurance and strength necessary to compete. In this class, nobody worked harder than me. I was quickly gaining favor in the coaches' eyes, as I continued to take great strides. Through my hard work, I was starting to fulfill my dream. Soon enough, try-outs came a long again. Once again, I was extremely excited to show my newfound greatness in the sport of football. I competed and worked during try-outs, and the coaches certainly noticed.

My dream was finally accomplished. I made the football team at my school, and I couldn't be happier. However, I knew that this was only possible from the effort and determination I put into football. I finally became aware that things in life aren't given; you have to take them, through effort, hard work, and determination. I learned that through these qualities, you could succeed.

Undergraduate / UC Personal Statement Essay-The Willpower to Suceed [5]

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are? Word Count:570

The Willpower to Succeed

Growing up in today's society, it is easy to see all the things people take for granted. One thing that I have always disliked about the people in my area is that everything in their lives was given to them. Anything they wanted was given to them. Of course, this does not only apply to materialistic objects but also the feelings of bliss and mirth. Growing up in an upper middle class neighborhood, I know that I should fall into this mold of society, but I do not. Everything I have ever wanted in my life has had to come through my self-motivation and determination, as there was never anybody to give me anything.

From an early age, I knew I had to be self-reliant in order to succeed, that my success was solely based upon my merits. One of my proudest moments came when I was eight years old, as a wide-eyed second grader. I was bedridden for a week due to the stomach flu. When I came back to school, I discovered that a huge project was due, but I was unable to complete it due to my illness. While all the other kids had a week to do it in class, my teacher gave me a day. So I went home, opened my backpack, and got to work. It took me until 10 p.m., mind you, I was eight, but I finished the best chameleon research essay and diorama possible. I turned it in the next day, and when we all got the project back the next week, I finished with the highest grade in my class. This is a signature moment that stands as a testament to my dedication and resolve.

As I grew older and entered into middle school, my whole attention turned towards sports. I became attracted to sports such as football, baseball, and basketball. As I started playing these sports in teams and leagues, I soon realized that I wasn't as gifted athletically as the other kids were. It seemed like everything came naturally to the other kids according to their fundamentals. I could just never grasp the concept the first time. Often, I would stay after practice with my coaches, so I could improve my fundamentals. During practice, I would work harder than anybody else to try to improve. Despite all of my work, I never really played much because I still wasn't a great player. Rattled but unshaken, I continued to work at my game and seek to improve on my own. At home, I was constantly shooting baskets, practicing my swing, and improving my hand-eye coordination. Over time, I gained enough skill where I could finally become a decent player. I started to earn playing time in all these sports over these naturally gifted athletes. Even though I was never the best naturally, nobody gave more effort or determination than me.

As I continue to grow in maturity and in age, I constantly rediscover the importance of effort. As my days in high school start to dwindle, I realize that none of my accomplishments were possible if it were not for my hard work and willpower. It is a trait that has persisted throughout my entire life, which has given me an identity. Just as I had done before, as I continue to do, and as I will continue to do, I pride myself in determination.

Undergraduate / "Things will get better" - Support- BYU Admissions Essay [4]

As a bit of background information:
BYU is a religiously affiliated college, so having an essay with religious undertones is typical, not risky. So even if it sounds weird, please stick with it!!

Word limit: 250, Word count: 250
Prompt: What is one of the most difficult things you have ever done or experienced? What made it difficult and what did you learn?

I had anticipated for it, but it never really struck me until it actually happened. This past summer, my parents separated. It devastated me; I never thought that I could actually get through it. It altered the course of my life in many ways, alterations that I was never used too. Responsibilities were added to my already busy schedule, I was living in a near empty house with only my father, but most painfully, the estrangement and loneliness I was feeling. At first, I believed there was no help. However, I was wrong.

Throughout the whole process, I came to find out how supportive my friends, my ward family, and my Heavenly Father all are. Before this situation, I never needed to rely on anybody before. In spite of that, I realized that there are people who really care and look out for me. All my friends tried to make me feel better, through simply spending time with me, or even offering emotional support. My bishop was constantly wondering how I was doing and always asked if there was anything he could do to help. Everybody in my ward offered their support, asking if there was anything they could do.

Yet, I know that my Heavenly Father sent all these people to me, in my hour of need. I constantly prayed to my Heavenly Father, pleading for Him to help me through this. He answered that prayer and more. I can still hear His resounding answer: "Things will get better."