Undergraduate / 'Singing and playing guitar' - UC Prompt #2 [4]

Hi, please help me edit my essay (grammar, structure, organization, etc)! Comments whether good/bad are welcome. I also need help with a title. All help is appreciated!

*Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?*

Everyone in school knows me as that girl who sings and plays guitar - the Asian Taylor Swift. It all started when I fell in love with the sister duo, Aly & AJ, from watching the Disney Channel. I was so in awe of their talent of being able to perform music live, while playing the guitar and singing. Aspiring to be just like them, I began taking guitar lessons and incorporated singing into the songs I learned to play.

Eventually, I got older and my musical skills improved so my teacher put me in recitals. I was about fifteen when I played in my first recital. As I drove to the venue, I could hardly sit still and my palms started to sweat. I walked through the auditorium doors; I greeted people with a friendly smile while my anxiety was gnawing away at me. As I sat through the show waiting for my turn, my heart felt like it was about to pop out of my chest. Then when I sat down to play and sing my piece, the audience faded from my senses and I executed my performance just as I had practiced before. As I got up, consciousness returned and my nerves were back. I wondered what everyone had thought of my performance. Much to my surprise, people personally congratulated me and asked me questions like, "How long have you been taking lessons?" "My goodness, how old are you?" Flattered by their positive comments, I left with a smile on my face. And right before I swung open the door to leave, my teacher said, "Oh don't worry, security is waiting for you outside." To that, I burst out in laughter in response to his humor, but at the same time it was a laugh of relief.

The nerves I get before, during and after a performance are still the same every time whether it's a recital, an audition, or school concert. I get so nervous from worrying about messing up and fear not doing well. But in the end, I am still okay regardless of how well I performed. Whether I do well or not, I always strive to do even better next time. Naturally, I always take on the challenge because I've learned that perfection does not necessarily exist, but I can strive for it.

I've committed to this hobby of mine now for about seven years. Frankly, learning and performing music is thrilling to me. I've spent countless hours practicing and learning new songs because every time I pick up the guitar, I lose track of time and get enveloped into it. My hobby of music is important to me as a person because it greatly demonstrates my character. Having a commitment to something, taking risks, and fully dedicating my time and energy into something I love fully relates to the type of person I am.

Undergraduate / 'Cause-and-effect' - UC -WORLD I COME FROM [4]

Hi, please help me edit my essay (grammar, structure, organization, etc)! Comments whether good/bad are welcome.
*Describe the world you come from - for example your family, community or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.*

Cause-and-effect

"Work hard to prove her wrong. I know you can do it." That's what my dad always told me from a very young age. In some ways, his expression is right but I've learned that thinking this way can also be wrong. By "her", he was referring to my mother who left us in turmoil a couple of years ago. She left my dad and the family, and withdrew all of the money in the bank accounts. All of this chaos led to us being broke, hungry, nearly homeless, and eventually their divorce. I remember feeling helpless because I witnessed my dad's misery in not being able to provide for my two sisters, grandparents, and I. In time however, I saw how hard my dad worked to keep us afloat financially, and it was evident in his absence from my life and childhood. Although I did not have two parents who were always around, I made something good out of this hardship in my life. I became a self-sufficient individual who pursues anything that strikes my curiosity.

Growing up, I learned to do things on my own when no one was around to help me. Because of this, I grew up quickly, became aware of my surroundings, and familiarized myself with the concept of cause-and-effect. If I was hungry, I knew I needed to cook for myself. Cup noodles and packaged ramen became a staple in my diet because I understood that the effect would be the satisfaction of my hunger if I took the action to execute the cause - cooking the noodles. Nevertheless, my fondest childhood memory also came from understanding cause-and-effect. I knew that if I wanted to be like the ice-skaters I saw on the Disney Channel, I would have to get creative and come up with my own solution. As a result, I would wet my socks to cause my feet to smoothly glide across the tile floor. I know it seems silly now to picture a little girl slipping and sliding across the floor in an attempt to be an ice-skater. But for me, it sufficed my longing to ice-skate like the actresses on television.

Fast forward into high school, I continued to grow as a person and took charge of my high school career. Having already understood that doing well academically would get me that desired GPA, wanting to succeed in things other than academics complicated that equation. I joined different organizations, learned which ones fit me, and stuck with them. Each of them offered me different perspectives and insights - such as a taste into the world of business or what being a performer feels like. Although I am not completely sure about what I want to do as a career, my goal is to take the steps that will lead me there. I aspire go to college, take classes that interest me as well as strike my curiosity, and find out what that may be.

I know my dad was right about the cause, "Work hard", and I always appreciated his encouragement, "I know you can do it". However, I've learned that the effect is not to be able to "prove her wrong", but rather to live happily and be satisfied with myself from my very own accomplishments. As I go about life and try my best to be successful, I never used the thought of "prov[ing] her wrong" as a driving force. Even though I do not have a picture-perfect family who was always around, I accept that because I have came to be a responsible young woman(?). As an individual who has grown up to be quite independent, I know that I can succeed in college as I will be the cause that brings about my own effects.